Not only was my bedroom just as I had left it as a teenager but it was also Robby’s room as well. I had stayed here often when I visited L.A., after I made the move to Camden and then to New York, and over the years part of this large space overlooking the San Fernando Valley had slowly transformed itself into an office, where I stored old manuscripts and files on shelves built into a walk-in closet. This was where I was heading. I immediately started rummaging carelessly through stacks of papers—drafts of novels, magazine essays, children’s books—until the floor became littered with them. And then I finally located what I was looking for: the original manuscript copy of American Psycho, which had been typed on an electric Olivetti (four drafts in all, which continued to fill me with disbelief). I sat on the futon beneath the framed Elvis Costello poster that still hung on the wall and began flipping through its pages. Without even knowing what I was looking for, I felt a vague desire to touch the book and rid myself of something that Donald Kimball had said. There was a piece of information that had never fit into the pattern revealing itself to us. I wanted to make sure it did not exist. But as I kept turning pages I began knowing what it was.
It made itself apparent the moment I hit page 207 in the original manuscript.
On page 207 was the drawing of a face.
I had drawn a face onto the thin sheet of typing paper (leaving enough space between the chapter breaks to fit it in).
And beneath the face I drew the words, scrawled in red pen: “I’m B a c k.”
This image of words scrawled in blood was used later on, but I had cut the scene that preceded this warning.
This chapter had been omitted.
And I had also removed the crude drawing of the face from any subsequent manuscripts.
Something became confirmed.
This was a copy of the manuscript I had shown no one.
This was the copy that had been rewritten before I handed the book to my agent.
This was the copy that no editor or publisher had ever seen.
This was the one chapter I had cut from the very first draft and that no one but me had ever read.
It included details of the murder of a woman called Amelia Light.
I flashed on the phone call I received on November 5.
“What did you do to her?”
“I’d check the text of that dirty little book you wrote again.”
The fictional details—the missing arms and head, the ropes, the blowtorch—were identical to the details of the murder in the Orsic Motel in a place called Stoneboat, according to what Donald Kimball had imparted.
As I kept turning pages, I realized even before I arrived at the next chapter that it would be titled “Paul Owen.”