Except I loved him. After our last fight, he promised me he would always be honest with me. I had promised him the same thing, and now I had to play by the rules.

“I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“I need an answer,” Landon said.

I stared at him. He didn’t look fazed.

It took me a full ten seconds to realize he couldn’t see my psycho stare through the vampire’s eyes. Nice going there, champ. “You’ll get your answer in the morning. If you did your homework, you know that I think logic and restraint are overrated. If you push me, I’ll get my people and see how many of this famed Golden Legion I can kill.”

“You’ll lose,” Landon said.

“Yes, but I’ll have a great time and take a hell of a lot of you with me. In the past few days, I’ve been threatened, teleported, drowned, starved, and locked in a cage while being forced to watch as people I care about died. I have so much rage in me, I’m having trouble keeping it inside. If you push me, you have my word that I’ll make it my personal mission to find you in the melee and slice your head from your body. I’d enjoy it. It would be fun for me. If you somehow manage to survive, you’ll have to go back to my father and explain how you had me in your grasp, but you were too clumsy and you failed, just like Hugh, and now a lot of vampires and I are dead. Somehow I doubt he would accept my head as a consolation prize. You’ll have my answer in the morning.”

I let go of the vampire’s mind, got up, and moved over to the fire. Curran still lay on his back.

“I know you’re awake.” I lay down next to him.

He opened his gray eyes and looked at me. I loved him so much, it hurt. I loved everything about him. The way his eyes lightened when he laughed. The way they shone with little gold sparks when he wanted me. The way his thick eyebrows came together when he was pissed off. I loved his nose that never healed right. I loved the stubble on his cheeks and the hard line of his jaw. I loved that he called me on my bullshit. I laughed at his jokes and I loved that he laughed at mine. I loved that no matter where I was he would come for me. That he would always be there, helping me cut my way through the mess that was life.

I leaned over to him and kissed him. I kissed him, trying to tell him all of the things I couldn’t put into words. I tried to tell him that I loved him, that he meant everything to me, and that I would fight for him. Nobody would take him away from me, because if they tried, I would carve a path right through them. He kissed me back, and tasting him was heaven. He was right here, alive, warm, and mine—but only until tomorrow. I held on to him. I’d just gotten him back. I couldn’t lose him. Not now.

“I love you,” I told him.

“I love you, too.” His gray eyes searched my face. “Something happened and it’s bad.”

“Yep. I got a visit from Landon Nez.”

“Who is he?”

“The Legatus of the Golden Legion. Hugh oversees the Iron Dogs; he’s Roland’s brute strength. Landon leads the Masters of the Dead. He is Ghastek’s boss.”

Curran’s face slid into a neutral mask. “What did he want?”

“He showed me a photograph of Robert and Christopher. They are alive. My father watched your duel with Hugh and then plucked Christopher and Robert out of Mishmar and took them to Jester Park.”

“Could the photograph be a fake?” Curran asked.

“Roland wouldn’t bother,” I told him. “My father is waiting in Jester Park. He wants to see me. I’m to come alone. If I can walk into Jester Park and claim our people, we can all go home. If not, Landon has about two hundred vampires parked two miles south of us.”

Curran’s face was impenetrable. I knew exactly what he was thinking, though. I could tell by the way he sat, very still, and by his eyes. They had iced over.

“Do you think your father is lying?” Curran asked.

“No.”

“We have two options,” he said, his voice quiet and calm. “Option one, you tell them no and we fight our way out. But we can’t win in a straight fight.”

“I agree. I could possibly kill some bloodsuckers, but all of them will be controlled by Masters of the Dead at least of Ghastek’s level. Before killing any of the vampires, I would have to wrestle all these navigators for control of their minds. It takes effort and time.”

“We’d be overrun.” Curran pondered the flames. “We could split now and run. There’s a chance they’ll come at us in smaller groups. It takes time and maneuvering to get two hundred vampires moving. But as soon as we stopped to fight one group, the rest would catch up.”

“Also, Robert and Christopher die.”

We looked at the fire. “This is one hell of a date,” I said.

“Trapped by a horde of vampires in the middle of a snow-covered field, huddling around a tiny fire on thin blankets,” Curran said. “Drink it in, baby. All this luxury just for you.”

“At least it’s not raining.”

We both looked up just in case a freak downpour decided to drench us, but the night sky was clear. Nothing but stars and desperation.

I didn’t want to die.

“If we make it too expensive for the Golden Legion, would they cut their losses?” Curran asked.

“No. I think Roland has made up his mind. As long as Landon has a single vampire left, he will try to get me.” Our options were shrinking with every word. I leaned against him. “Robert told me that if you didn’t come back and the question of my leadership of the Pack came up, some alphas might vote no confidence.”

Curran growled low under his breath. “Robert says a lot of things.”

“Ted had locked us in a cage at the chapterhouse and Hugh had killed all of the knights. He got a hold of Ascanio and threatened to kill him. He was healing him and then unhealing, back and forth, and I told him if he saved the boy, I would come out of the cage.”

“Sounds like you.”

“Robert thought that I lacked the ruthlessness to be in charge. I should’ve let Ascanio die, because Hugh getting his hands on me would’ve been a disaster for the Pack.”

“He was right,” Curran said.

“I agree. But I can’t do it. I can’t turn my back on Robert and Christopher. I just can’t. It’s not in me.”

“I know,” he said. “That’s who you are. But I’m ruthless enough for both of us. Roland thinks you might be his daughter. He wants you to come to him. He wants a big show. Either you’re an impostor and you’ll die in front of an audience, or you’re real and he gets to show you off. Even if you walk out of there, there will be no more hiding. That’s why you’re not going.”

“I have to go and see him, Curran. If it’s not Christopher and Robert, then the next time it will be Julie, or Derek, or you in the photograph. I can’t keep doing this.”

He faced me, his eyes hard. “No.”

“Yes.”

His eyes sparked with gold. I looked into his irises. The urge to freeze gripped me. There it was, the Beast Lord’s famous alpha glare. I hadn’t seen it for a while.

His voice came out deep and ragged, as if the leonine snarl cut the words to pieces as they tried to break out of his mouth. “Kate, no. You’re not going. I mean it.”

I had to convince him or this thing between us would be over. I racked my brain trying to scrounge up smart, persuasive words, the right words, but I had nothing.

He was still staring at me, waiting.

Fuck it. “I love you. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to argue. I have to do this, because like you said, this is who I am. I don’t abandon the people who fought for me. If I compromise on this, soon I’ll compromise on other things and then I won’t be me anymore. I can’t let my father bend me into something I’m not. I won’t. I know it’s stupid and reckless, but I have to at least try, Curran. I have to try and I’m afraid.”

The alpha stare died.

“I won’t ask you to stand with me,” I said. “I don’t want you to come, because he’s forcing me to challenge him and if you come with me, you would be challenging him, too. I’m not sure I’ll come through this alive and even if I do, he’ll come after me with everything he has. I want you to live and be happy, Curran. I want you to survive. I want to marry you and have your children, but if I die, I want you to marry and have kids with someone who would make you happy. I want you to live. All I ask is that you let me have what’s left of this night with you. Don’t leave me now over this and don’t fight with me about it. I need you. Please.”

Curran pulled me to him. His arms closed around me and for a moment I felt safe. It was an illusion, but I didn’t care.

“We go together,” he said.

“No.”

“I don’t tell you what battles to fight. Don’t tell me when to fight mine.”

“Curran, there is no turning back after this . . .”

He shook his head. “I love you. We go together.”

“But . . .”

“No,” he said. “Not up for discussion.”

Oh, you stupid idiot. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Yes. But I’m a demon in the sack.”

I laughed. “Okay then. That fixes everything.”

“That’s right, it does.”

I fell asleep in his arms by the slowly dying fire in the cold snowed-in field. I wouldn’t have traded it for the most luxurious palace.

• • •

THE MORNING BROUGHT a magic wave and even harsher cold. I opened my eyes. The sky above me was crystalline blue. I pulled back the blanket, leaving the warmth Curran and I had shared through the night, and sat up. Pure white snow stretched as far as I could see, sparkling in the morning sun like crushed crystal.

Beautiful day.

Curran jumped to his feet. I rolled one blanket up, he rolled the other, and we checked the backpacks.

Andrea watched us. “Both of you have your business faces on.”

“We have someplace to be,” I said.

“Rise and shine,” Curran called out.

The rest of the group awoke instantly, all except Ghastek, who seemed dead to the world. One, two, three . . . Naeemah was missing. Well, we rescued her, she helped us get out of Mishmar. I suppose that made us even. Hopefully Landon’s vampires had let her pass.

Andrea was on her feet. “What are you doing?”

“I have to visit Roland,” I told her. “He has Robert and Christopher.”

“Robert is dead,” Thomas said, his voice raw.

“There is a possibility he isn’t,” Curran said.

Thomas froze. A muscle in his face jerked. “Then I’m coming with you.” Thomas grabbed his pack.

“You can’t go,” Curran said, his voice calm. “If you go, he dies. Roland’s condition, not ours.”

Thomas dropped the bag and moved forward, the line of his shoulders set. His eyes turned green. His nostrils flared.

Curran blocked his way.

For a second I thought Thomas would collide with him, but the alpha rat stopped an inch from Curran. The two men squared off. Thomas was six three and built like he could push trucks over, but in a fight Curran would break him.

Gold drowned Curran’s irises. “Look at me. This is a direct order. Stay put. If you go, you go through me.”

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.

“Stand down,” Curran said, his voice quiet.

Thomas turned on his heel and swore.

“There are vampires south of us,” I said. “I’m going to set a blood ward. It will protect you as long as the magic holds. Jester Park is less than two hours away by car. Stay put. We will be back.”

Ghastek sat up on his blanket. “What’s going on?”

“And if you don’t come back?” Andrea asked me.

“Then you may have to fight your way out,” Curran said. “Roland’s people promised us safe passage, but I don’t trust them and you shouldn’t either.”

“How many vampires?” Jim asked.

“About two hundred.” I pulled Sarrat out of its sheath, cut my arm, and began making a circle around them in the snow.

The color drained from Andrea’s face. “Two hundred. Piece of cake.”

“Will someone tell me what’s going on?” Ghastek demanded.

The last drops of blood connected with the first. The magic stretched from me, pooling over the circle of blood. I severed the tie. A wall of red shot up and vanished. The blood ward was set.

Behind me the snow crunched. I turned. Landon strode toward me, his tattered red cloak like a ragged red wound against the snow.

Ghastek opened his mouth and closed it again.

Landon stopped a few feet away. The wind tugged on his cloak and long dark hair.

“I’m coming with her,” Curran said.

“That’s not possible,” Landon said.

Curran grinned and I felt an urge to step back. “Is Roland afraid of what I might do? Am I that scary?”

“Baiting me or him will accomplish nothing,” Landon said.

“Tell him that if he ever loved my mother, he will understand,” I said.

Landon murmured something under his breath. We waited. The wind bit at us with icy fangs. When they described dramatic standoffs in the snow in stories, nobody ever mentioned freezing your ass off. I hopped up and down, trying to warm up. If this got any more dramatic, pieces of me would start falling off.

“He’ll see you,” Landon said.