"Not back!" Nola's mother cried, finally taking her hands down completely from over her mouch so that she could pull on her hair. "Nola, what are you thinking? And here I was, afraid that you would be wanting to go forward. Again. As if that wasn't bad enough. But of course not. 'Here's a nice, safe, friendly place in Saint Erim Turi,' my Nola says to herself. 'I know what we should do: We should leave, as soon as we get here, that's the only sensible thing to do.' Naturally." She struck herself on the side of the head. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Mother!" Nola warned. To Edris, she said, "Mother is a bit overwrought. She's chinking of the sadness of the situation, and not taking into account that in this time of sorrow our poor friends shouldn't have to concern themselves with day-to-day household casks, in which we could help them."
Edris was watching Nola's mother. From behind Edris, and from over Modig's shoulder, Nola made frantic faces at her mother that were meant to convey that she wasn't really thinking of going back to Haymarket, and would her mother, please, just for once, play along? Going back was only a pretext. For what would Edris and Modig think of them if Nola had said, "Somebody in the last town wc visited has died, and now we must move on from here because we're only a day's journey away"? It made sense that people who knew each other would come together in times of bereavement. If her mother would only realize going back was a ruse and stop making such a fuss. It was hard enough to think.
Modig said, "You try to go back, and you try to go back." He thumped his cane and shook his head. "But you never can."
What was going on at the silversmith's house - even now as her mother craned around Edris and asked Nola, "What is it you're trying to tell me, dear? I can't make it out from the faces you're making."
"Nothing," Nola said. "I'm trying not to cry over the death of our poor friend."
Surely, she thought, Kirwyn wasn't stupid. He couldn't expect to bash his father across the head and get away with it. Was his plan to kill the servants, too, and claim an intruder had broken in? Or would he try to set the blame on Brinna or Alan?
On Brinna, Nola thought, remembering Kirwyn's face through the kitchen window, and the hate she had seen there.
But then she went even colder than she had when she'd realized she was about to witness a murder.
Or on us, she thought.
How much more likely was it for Kirwyn to blame Nola and her mother for the death? Had he, in fact, already discovered the bespelled bucket in the basement? "Obviously witchcraft," he would say to che authorities, showing them the shadowform of a living man in a bucket of water. And he could claim... what? That the figure they could see had stepped out of :he bucket and killed the silversmith? They wouldn't know that was impossible, that Nola didn't have - and would never use, even if she did have - that kind of magic. And they would know that she was the one who had set up the spell - who else was there who could have done it? Who had recently had access to the silversmith's basement, besides Brinna and Alan? And they had lived in Haymarket all their lives, and everybody knew they weren't witches. Who but the two strangers, who had been asked to leave precisely for being so strange?
And if what she had been afraid of came to pass, and the blackberry merchant from Low Beck tracked her down to Haymarket, or if somebody from Haymarket recognised his shadowform and the authorities tracked him down, that would not exonerate her. He would be able to protect himself. "I was at home with my family, with my field workers," he would tell them. "That creature that the witch created and placed in the bucket has a separate life from me, so I am not responsible for its crimes. She is. I always said she was a witch."
And even if - if - Kirwyn hadn't discovered the bucket and had a different plan to evade being found out, then someone - the town magistrate or representatives from the lord who held this land - would come to investigate the crime. And they would find the bucket. That bucket might have been - might have been - safe from discovery long enough to go dry if all that was going on in the silversmith's house was a wedding. But it would certainly be chanced upon now chat there had been murder done.
She and her mother would have to leave - now, tonight, immediately - and flee farther and faster than they ever had before.
She became aware that Edris had taken hold of her arm, and she jerked away, thinking that somehow Edris knew, Edris was crying to restrain her, Edris planned to hand her over to the Saint Erim Turi authorities. But Edris didn't try to catch hold of her again. She only said, mildly, "Sometimes it's best to weep and not hold it in." And Nola realized she was responding to the last thing Nola had said, that Nola was trying not to cry over a supposed friend's death.
Modig said, "You try to hold it in, and you try to hold it in. But you can't."
Nola sat down heavily, just barely making it onto the straw-filled mattress on the floor.
Edris - for all her bulk and despite being at least twice Nola's age - crouched down beside her. "I'm so sorry," she said, so sympathetically - over the wrong thing - that Nola found herself crying.
She and her mother would never, she knew, absolutely never, be able to outrun the storm that would break out in Haymarket if that bucket was discovered. She said, and this time she meant it, "We must go back." If the bucket hadn't been seen yet, she must make sure it never was.
Her mother said, "None of us thinks you should go."
Edris, misunderstanding, thinking that Nola's mother was including her in the sentiment, said, "I don't know." She shook her head, to indicate she didn't know the situation, and in truth she didn't know the situation, much more than she could ever guess. Still, she pointed a finger at her father to warn him not to take sides, and she repeated, unwilling to get between mother and daughter, "I don't know."
Annoyed with herself, Nola wiped her eyes. They had to go back. Yet how could they - when she knew Kirwyn had already killed once? How could they go back when everyone would blame her mother because they had all heard her say that Innis would die?
That thought made Nola's mind stop going in the same circle. How had her mother known? Of course. Some abbot had told her, some abbot who had found his way into her mother's head. Well, he hadn't exactly told her. Her mother had overheard him saying the Mass for the Dead. But since when had her mother's voices been real - never mind been able to tell the future?
It was a coincidence, Nola told herself. An awful co-incidence that could get the two of them killed. The three of them, she wryly corrected herself, if you counted the abbot.
And surely she would be as mad as her mother if she took her mother back to Haymarket. Ic would cake twice as long co get there, and people would be twice as apt to notice them, and things were twice as likely to go awry.
But Nola had to go there.
And how could she not take her mother? What other choice was there - to leave her here?
Nola looked at Edris and Modig, who had come running - well, come as fast as each of them could - when they thought there was some trouble, who had asked pointed questions to make sure Nola's mother was not being harmed, who were - contrary to all expectation - friendly.
I can't leave her here, Nola thought. What would ?he say, what would she do, what trouble would she get into without me?
But it was safer than taking her to Haymarket. Wasn't it? Where both a murderer and the authorities were?
It was a terrible plan. But there was no other choice.
To her mother, she said, "I can travel much faster alone." To Edris, she said, "Would you ... Could it be possible ... Is there any way - "