Manic

"Can I move my hands? Or do I have to pretend to be tied up?"

"Do you want to move them?"

"Yes."

He repositions my body so I'm straddling the tank, leaning back on his chest like I was with Spencer. Billy has either had a lot of bike sex before, or he's got a very creative on-the-fly imagination because I'm pretty hot and bothered in a matter of seconds. He opens my legs right up, places one on the handlebars, and then reaches around to cup my breast. "Touch me, Rook."

I reach back and grab his head, thrusting my upper body up and out. Billy's right hand caresses the leg propped up on the handlebar, then slides down and slips right up under my ass. His other hand is squeezing my breast until I squirm from the pressure. "Turn towards me, Rook." His voice is a low rumble.

I turn and his mouth is right there, his kisses just as passionate as any Ronin gave me, and his hands just as daring. His fingers are between my legs, not past any point of no return, but hovering right there, right on the edge. He rubs my lower abdomen a little, slips down, then brings his fingertips back up just when I think he's gonna slip them in farther.

It's driving me f**king crazy. I am so horny right now it's not even funny.

I lose track of time, of the camera, of everyone in the room. I feel his kisses, I kiss him back, but I'm not even inside my body right now, that's how worked up he has me. I'm not sure what it means, but none of this can be good for a brand-new relationship with a man who is not the one fondling me.

"OK, great shots, Billy and Rook. We're done for today."

And that's it. Antoine takes his camera and walks away.

"You OK, Rook?" Billy asks, his voice totally normal, like he always is after a shoot.

"Um…" Wow.

He lifts me up off him and sets me on the ground and then removes his cowboy chaps and sets them on the bike. "Come on," he says, taking my hand. "I'll walk you to the showers."

I have no words as we go back downstairs. Like none.

We go in and he starts the shower for me. "You wanna talk about it?"

I blow some air out of my cheeks. "I don't think I can do this, Billy."

"What are you talking about? You did great."

"I mean, I don't think I can keep all these feelings separate."

He laughs. "Oh, you're hot for me now?"

"No, it's just, that felt so…"

He grins as my words trail off. "It's OK to admit it, Rook."

"Good, it felt good."

"It's supposed to feel good. That's what people want to see in the pictures."

"So you don't want to really jump my bones?"

"Well, f**k yeah I do, but you're seeing Ronin, right? So you're off limits. I'm not an ass**le, I'd never do that."

I've got nothing for that response. I'm not sure if it helps or makes things worse.

"Rook, when I'm working, you're just a naked body, OK? And I guarantee you, Spencer is the same way. He's got a naked girl in his lap and he'd like to finish her off and get himself some too. That's just how it is. But when the shoot stops, you're Rook again. And that's not the same thing as a naked body in our laps. It's work, Rook. Not love."

He takes the sponge from me and starts washing my back and I just stand there and let him. When he's done he thrusts it at me until I take it from him. "You can finish now, right? I'll be in the hallway."

He walks out and leaves me standing there. I snap back to my senses and wash the rest of the paint off, then wrap myself up in a towel and go out to meet him. We walk upstairs together and then he drops me off in front of Ronin's door.

"Be ready in an hour, we're having dinner, remember?"

Right, dinner. I nod and go inside, ready to be alone so I can begin to process this day.

Chapter Fifteen - ROOK

Dinner with Billy and Antoine wasn't terrible, but I spent most of the time just listening to them talk about sports. It was pretty boring. And now that I'm back home in my apartment, I'm simply exhausted. I can't imagine working like this every day. My phone buzzes and I smile at Ronin's face on my screen.

"Geez," I say after answering, "I figured you forgot about me."

"Nah, I knew you were eating with Antoine, remember? How'd it go today?"

I hesitate. "Well, it was… weird, confusing, exciting, long, demanding, and… weird."

"Why weird twice?"

I thought about this conversation all through dinner. I need to get this out in the open, because if Ronin is gonna break it off with me over this contract, I might as well understand that now. "When you model with other girls, does it…"

"Does it what?"

"Feel good?"

He lets out a small laugh but I'm not convinced that it's a happy one. "Did it feel good today with Billy and Spencer?"

"You knew I was modeling with them?"

"Rook, I'm your manager. I know what every painting looks like, we're not making this shit up as we go. This has all been planned. So yes, I know what you did today. And my question is, did it feel good?"

I swallow. "It did. I can't help it, when they're asking me to kiss them for the photo shoot it got personal. I felt turned on."

He says nothing for several long seconds.

"Do you get turned on when you're with other girls?"