Manic

We're ready. And I'm not even nervous—in fact, I'm looking forward to this trip. I'm gonna get blind-ass drunk up there in Sturgis, I do not even care that I'm underage. I figure if I'm old enough to parade my goods in front of half a million people, a few shots of tequila and some fizzy Coronas aren't gonna make a bit of f**king difference. If I have to sit in the RV and get drunk alone, I will.

The rally officially starts tomorrow, but we're not scheduled for the downtown walk of shame and Shrike Raven unveiling until the day after. It's a long day, one that I'm very anxious to be over. But being naked barely bothers me anymore, I'm so used to wearing nothing that when I do put clothes on for dinner every night, it almost feels weird. I might become a nudist.

I laugh. Right out loud.

Fuck that, I can't wait for winter so I can put on layers of clothes.

"Hey?" I call out to Ronin. He's out on the terrace talking fast and low to Ford, I think. Ford has been texting and calling him all morning. It's starting to drive me crazy because each time Ronin gets more and more wound up. Ronin puts one finger up towards me, then turns and continues his conversation.

Whatever. He's not gonna ruin my trip. I've been stuck in this place all summer, thinking about Jon and all the what-ifs. But he never showed. I figure I'm safe. Ronin was right—he probably did find me, saw I was already involved with someone else, I'd started over and all that, and then he left.

And Ford has been working on the divorce stuff slowly. He tells me a little bit about how we might take care of this every now and then, but he says we should wait until things calm down and then we'll talk about the plan. Annulment, he hints. Sounds good to me. I still run with him every day, it's actually one of the few things in my life that is stress-free and predictable. It allows me to think about nothing for thirty minutes every morning, clear my head. Ford was totally right about exercise. It's good for me.

I can't keep up with him when we run, but he slows down for me a little bit before taking off and going ahead on his own now. He's been talking a lot about the Biker Channel season going through with Spencer, so I've been mulling that over. It sounds a lot better than anything I've ever done, so—

"Rook!"

Ronin comes busting in from the terrace and interrupts my thoughts. "I've gotta go downstairs for a second. Stay here, I'll be right back." He leans down and kisses me on the cheek, then rushes out the door.

"OK," I say to no one, since I'm alone now. I go to the fridge and grab some blackberries from the fruit basket I took from Antoine's office yesterday. I can take or leave his apples and pears, but berries… that's another story.

The doorbell rings and I almost pee my pants, it scares me so bad. I didn't even know we had a doorbell, and for that matter, who the f**k would ring it?

I walk slowly around the corner of the kitchen and then just stare at the door.

Who would ring the doorbell?

I swallow hard as my heart rate picks up.

Who would ring the doorbell?

We're on lockdown, have been for months. No one in or out without a code. Everyone's code was changed when we came back from FoCo after the missing person's report was cleared. And no one who's allowed to be in this building needs to ring the doorbell, because everyone has access to Ronin's apartment via a second code, just in case Jon did come back and somehow make his way inside.

My heart thumps so hard with this thought my hand goes up to my chest. I feel like I have to hold it inside or it will burst through.

It's Jon.

Oh, God. I rush over to my cell phone and push the preset for Ronin. The little icon at the top of the phone says no service.

Oh, f**k.

He's messed up our service.

He's inside the building.

Where can I go?

He must not have the code for Ronin's apartment, either that or he's f**king with me, trying to draw me outside. I tiptoe over to the door and peek through the little peep hole.

There's a sign taped to the wall across from the door.

It says, Where's Ronin?

My arms reaches out for the wall before I faint. Do not faint, Rook. Do not faint, I tell myself over and over.

He wants me to go outside. It's a trick. I know this, I know it's a trick. I lived with this man for three years, this is how he plays his game. And now that I think about it, that's what that phone call was with Ronin, something to do with Jon.

I stand up and catch my breath. Still, if that freak thinks he's gonna hurt Ronin… I take another deep breath and push my ear to the door. Nothing.

I tiptoe back to the kitchen and grab the biggest knife we have, then walk calmly back to the door.

I twist the handle on the door and cringe as the locking mechanism automatically releases. I wait for the door to burst open, I'm prepared for him to come at me from the hallway.

But nothing happens.

I open the door a crack and wait. Again, nothing.

I throw it all the way open and rush forward into the hallway.

Silence and emptiness.

Where the hell is everyone? We're leaving in like half an hour, where's Elise and Antoine?

Oh, God, please, please, I beg. Please do not let them be hurt or worse, dead, by this monster's hand.

I have to stifle down a cry before I remember that my own life is in danger if he catches me. I walk down the hallway, and for once, my old Converse sneakers are the perfect footwear for the job. I stop just before I get to the stairs and push myself up against the wall the way you see people do in the movies, just before they flash their eyeballs around a corner where Charlie's waiting to pump their guts full of lead.