Memories of Ice

'We getting them syrup cakes or what?'



'Naturally, though the flash of that blade still blinds generous Kruppe.'



'Y'ain't got no sense of humour, have ya? Join us, if you dare.'



The Daru smiled and strode forward. 'Nathi black-cakes, my dears.'



'We recognize 'em. The Mott Irregulars used to throw them at us when they ran out of arrows.'



'Jaybar got one full in the face, as I recall.'



'That he did, then he stumbled and when he came up he was like the forest floor with eyes.'



'Dreadful sap, deadly weapon,' Kruppe agreed, once more offering the cakes to the two marines.



They took them.



'Courageous task, protection of the Rhivi lass.'



'She ain't no Rhivi lass. She's Tattersail. That fur and the hides are just for show.'



'Ah, then you have spoken with her.'



'Not much and we don't need to. These cakes go down better without all the twigs and leaves, don't they just.'



Kruppe blinked, then slowly nodded. 'No doubt. Vast responsibility, being the eyes of your commander regarding said lass.'



Both women paused in their chewing. They exchanged a glance, then one of them swallowed and said, 'Who, Dujek? If we're his eyes then he's blind as a mole.'



'Ah, Kruppe meant Whiskeyjack, of course.'



'Whiskeyjack ain't blind and he don't need us to see for him, either.'



'None the less,' the Daru smiled, 'he no doubt is greatly comforted by your self-appointed task and reports and such. Were Kruppe Whiskeyjack, he knows he would.'



'Would what?'



'Why, be comforted, of course.'



Both women grunted, then one snorted and said, 'That's a good one. If you were Whiskeyjack. Hah.'



'A figure of speech-'



'Ain't no such thing, fatty. You trying to walk in Whiskeyjack's footsteps? Trying to see through his eyes? Hah.'



'I'll say,' the other woman agreed. 'Hah.'



'And so you did,' Kruppe noted.



'Did what?'



'Agree.'



'Damned right. Whiskeyjack should've been Emperor, when the old one got knocked off. Not Laseen. But she knew who her rival was, didn't she just. That's why she stripped him of rank, turned him into a Hood-damned sergeant and sent him away, far away.'



'An ambitious man, this Whiskeyjack, then.'



'Not in the least, Daru. And that's the whole point. Would've made a good Emperor, I said. Not wanting the job is the best and only qualification worth considering.'



'A curious assertion, dear.'



'I ain't.'



'Pardon, you ain't what?'



'Curious. Listen, the Malazan Empire would be a far different thing if Whiskeyjack had taken the throne all those years ago. If he'd done what we all wanted him to do and grabbed Laseen by the scruff of the neck and sent her through a tower window.'



'And was he capable of such a remarkable feat?'



The two marines looked confused. One turned to her companion. 'Seen him out of his boots?'



The other shook her head. 'No. Still, they might be remarkable. Why not?'



'Then it'd be a boot to the backside, but I said by the scruff of the neck.'



'Well, feet that could do that would be remarkable, wouldn't they?'



'You got a point, friend.'



'Ahem,' Kruppe interrupted. 'A remarkable feat, dears. As in achievement.'



'Oh.'



'Oh yeah, right. Got it. So you're asking could he have done it if he'd a mind to? Sure. Not good to cross Whiskeyjack, and if that's not enough, he's got wits.'



'So, why then, Kruppe asks in wonder, did he not do so at the time?'



'Because he's a soldier, you idiot. Laseen's taking the throne was messy enough. The whole empire was shaky. People start stabbing and jumping into a blood-wet throne and sometimes it don't stop, sometimes it's like dominoes, right? One after another after another, and the whole thing falls apart. He was the one we all looked to, right? Waiting to see how he'd take it, Laseen and all that. And when he just saluted and said, "Yes, Empress," well, things just settled back down.'



'He was giving her a chance, you see.'



'Of course. And do you lasses now believe he made a mistake?'



The women shrugged in unison. 'Don't matter, now,' one said. 'We're here and here's here and that's that.'



'So be it and so be it,' Kruppe said, rising with a sigh. 'Wondrous conversation. Kruppe thanks you and will now take his leave.'