Memories of Ice

The copper on her wrists and ankles — minor tribal wards against the aches in her bones — felt cold as ice against her withered skin, cold as a rapist's touch, disdainful of her frailty, contemptuous of her labouring heart.



The Rhivi spirits refused her, mocking, laughing.



The old woman cried out, staggered, fell hard to her knees. The jolt of the impact drove the air from her lungs. Twisting, she sagged to the ground, bedraggled, alone in an alley of dirt.



' "Flesh,"' a voice murmured above her, ' "which is the life within." These, cherished friend, are the words of birth, given in so many forms, in countless languages. They are joy and pain, loss and sacrifice, they give voice to the binds of motherhood … and more, they are the binds of life itself.'



Grey hair dangling, the Mhybe raised her head.



Crone sat atop a tent's ridgepole, wings hunched, eyes glittering wet. 'I am not immune to grief, you see, my dear — tell no-one you have seen me so weakened by love. How can I comfort you?'



The Mhybe shook her head, croaked, 'You cannot.'



'She is you more than the others — more than the woman Tattersail, and Nightchill, more than the T'lan Imass-'



'Do you see me, Crone? Do you truly see me?' The Mhybe pushed herself to her hands and knees, then sat back and glared up at the Great Raven. 'I am naught but bones and leather skin, I am naught but endless aches. Dried brittle — spirits below, each moment of this life, this terrible existence, and I edge closer to … to …' her head drooped, 'to hatred,' she finished in a ragged whisper. A sob racked her.



'And so you would die now,' Crone said. 'Yes, I understand. A mother must not be led to hate the child she has birthed … yet you demand too much of yourself.'



'She has stolen my life! ' the Mhybe screamed, gnarled hands closing to fists from which the blood within them fled. The Rhivi woman stared at those fists, eyes wide as if they were seeing a stranger's hands, skeletal and dead, there at the end of her thin arms. 'Oh, Crone,' she cried softly. 'She has stolen my life. '



The Great Raven spread her wings, tilted forward on the pole, then dropped in a smooth curve to thud on the ground before the Mhybe. 'You must speak with her.'



'I cannot!'



'She must be made to understand-'



'She knows, Crone, she knows. What would you have me do — ask my daughter to stop growing? This river flows unceasing, unceasing …'



'Rivers can be dammed. Rivers can be … diverted.'



'Not this one, Crone.'



'I do not accept your words, my love. And I shall find a way. This I swear.'



'There is no solution — do not waste your time, my friend. My youth is gone, and it cannot be returned, not by alchemy and not by sorcery — Tellann is an unassailable warren, Crone. What it demands cannot be undone. And should you somehow succeed in stopping this flow, what then? You would have me an old woman for decades to come? Year after year, trapped within this cage? There is no mercy in that — no, it would be a curse unending. No, leave me be, please …'



Footsteps approached from behind. A moment later Korlat lowered herself to the Mhybe's side, laid a protective arm around her and held her close. 'Come,' the Tiste Andii murmured. 'Come with me.'



The Mhybe let Korlat help her to her feet. She felt ashamed at her own weakness, but all her defences had crumbled, her pride was in tatters, and she felt in her soul nothing but helplessness. I was a young woman once. What point in raging at the loss? My seasons have tumbled, it is done. And the life within fades, whilst the life beyond flowers. This is a battle no mortal can win, but where, dear spirits, is the gift of death? Why do you forbid me an end?



She straightened slightly in Korlat's arms. Very well, then. Since you have already so cursed my soul, the taking of my own life can cause me no greater pain. Very well, dear spirits, I shall give you my answer. I shall defy your plans. 'Take me to my tent,' she said.



'No,' Korlat said.



The Mhybe twisted round, glared up at the Tiste Andii. 'I said-'



'I heard you, Mhybe, indeed, more than you intended me to hear. The answer is no. I shall remain at your side, and I am not alone in my faith-'



The Rhivi woman snorted. 'Faith? You are Tiste Andii! Do you take me for a fool with your claims to faith?'



Korlat's expression tightened and she looked away. 'Perhaps you are right.'



Oh, Korlat, I am sorry for that — I would take it back, I swear -



'None the less,' the Tiste Andii continued, 'I shall not abandon you to despair.'