Metamorphosis

“Really? That’s awesome. I love it too,” he said as he reached with his free hand to hold mine. “I would love to hear some of them once you’ve got them down.” I nodded in agreement.



Dylan walked me to my door, which felt a little odd since we normally went to the shindig after our dinner dates and said our goodbyes at the end of the night there. When what began as a sweet goodnight kiss turned into a more passionate make out session against my door, I asked him if he wanted to come in for a while since Evie would be out the rest of the night. Several people had already snickered as they had passed us in the hall and I wasn’t quite ready for exhibitionism. Despite his panting against my neck and his hard on pressed against my lower belly which indicated that he was just as turned on as I was, he declined. “Scarlett, I’m not sure that I would be able to stop myself once we got started if I followed you in there. I don’t think it’s a very good idea.” He kissed me gently on the tip of my nose and took a step back.



“What if I don’t want you to stop?” I was breathing heavily and still had my back pressed against the door. I searched his eyes for answers to the mixed signals he was constantly sending.



“Scarlett…” his voice faded off and he looked away. “I just can’t. Not now, it’s not right for you.”



“Don’t I get to decide what’s right for me?” I was almost whining at this point, but damn it, what was the problem? “What’s really going on, Dylan? I swear, sometimes I don’t understand you at all. You know I really don’t want to have this conversation out here. Can we at least go inside to talk without an audience?”



He looked down at his phone and then back up at me. “I can’t, I’m really sorry, Scarlett.”



“What? Do you have another date tonight or something? Why are you acting so damn weird all of a sudden?” I tried hard not to raise my voice, but the hurt from the rejection of my invitation and the confusion about why the hell he was checking his phone at the end of our date won out. “You know what, just go. Whatever. Wow. What an awful way to end what was the perfect first date; I sure won’t forget it now.” I spun on my heel to open my door, vowing not to let him see my cry.



“Scarlett, wait…” he said as he reached for my shoulder. I shrugged out of his grasp as the door unlocked and opened. I turned and looked in his dark sapphire eyes. “Dylan, up until ten minutes ago, I had an amazing evening, thank you so much for dinner and the ballet. However, until you are ready to tell me why it is we only see each other on Saturdays, why every time things start to heat up between us you stop it, and why you are acting like you are running late for something while dropping me off after a date, which by the way is incredibly rude - I’m sorry I kept you for so long from whatever else or whomever else it is you need to attend to, I don’t really think we have much to talk about.” I turned from him, walked into my dorm, and allowed the door to close in his face. It was then that I allowed the tears to flow freely. Stupid nice boys.



After a scalding hot shower, I changed into my usual cami and panties sleeping ensemble and went to the kitchenette in search of alcohol. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Dylan and I couldn’t stop thinking about how things had gone from so great to so bad in a matter of minutes. Every so often, an image of Ash or Mason would float by, only adding to my confusion. Did I really have any right to get angry at Dylan for hiding things when I wasn’t exactly forthcoming about what I had done just the night before? I hoped we had some wine or something that would help me calm down and get some sleep. The chime of my phone indicating I had a text message rang out just as located a bottle of wine in the fridge. I quickly poured a glass and then hurried into my room, hopeful that it was Dylan wanting to apologize. It wasn’t.



Ash (12:42 am): Where are you? Why aren’t you at Jacob’s?



I had forgotten to text him to let him know I wasn’t going to be there. I responded quickly so he wouldn’t think something had happened to me.



Me (12:45 am): I’m at home. Sorry, forgot to tell you I wasn’t coming.



Ash (12:46 am): Dylan?



Me (12:46 am): We went out on a date tonight. He just dropped me off.



Ash (12:47am): Evie?



Me (12:47 am): Out with Max



Ash (12:51 am): So you’re alone?



Me (12:52 am): Yep, getting ready for bed



Ash (12:55 am): I’m not going to be able to sleep without you tonight.



Me (12:56 am): You sleep the other 6 nights a week without me. You’ll be fine



I didn’t hear back from him after that last text, and I wasn’t sure if I had pissed him off, but I really couldn’t worry my poor brain with another issue at that time, I was already stressed over everything that had happened with Dylan. I would smooth everything over the following day. I downed the glass of wine and went to the kitchen to pour a second. Just as I was returning the bottle to the fridge, someone knocked on the door. The sound startled me and I wondered who in the world could possibly be at my door at 1:00 in the morning that wouldn’t have called before showing up. I hurried to the door, opening it only far enough that I could see who it was, and making sure my non-dressed body was hidden behind it.



Ash stood on our doormat looking as incredible as always. True to his surfer boy image, his long sandy hair was messy and he had on a white Billabong long sleeved tee with holey, faded jeans and flip flops. He smiled brightly at me when I cracked the door and the dimples were activated. I stopped breathing momentarily as the sight of him mixed with his masculine scent flooded my senses. I didn’t say anything, waiting for him to explain his sudden appearance.



“I get my best night’s sleep when you stay with me, and I can’t wait for next Saturday to get fully rested, so here I am. We can stay here if you want or I can take you back to my house. Either way, I just need you to be sleeping next to me.” Ash said matter-of-factly.



I opened the door wide enough so that he could come in, and once he did, the first thing he did was look down at my body. “I’ll go put some other clothes on; come in and make yourself at home,” I said.



I had no idea what to think about Ash showing up at my door, but one thing was for sure - this was by far the strangest night of my life. I was exhausted and told Ash as much. I apologized for not being much company, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Not fifteen minutes after he had knocked on my door, we were lying in my bed, our bodies fit together like a puzzle, John Coltrane playing softly in the background. Sleep took over quickly.



I woke up several hours later at the sound of the front door closing. I looked at my alarm clock - it read 3:30AM. Evie was home. Weird. I hoped everything was okay with her and Max. Then I heard their voices and realized that Max was with her. I tried to go back to sleep, but my thoughts couldn’t help but drift back to the happenings of the last couple of days. I had gone from making out with and giving a blowjob to Mason on Friday night, to kissing Ash later that same night, to spending Saturday afternoon and evening on a date and making out with Dylan, to spending the night with Ash in my bed Saturday night. In 36 hours I had gone from little-miss-goodie-two-shoes to a dirty whore. Okay, maybe not quite a dirty whore, considering my hymen was still firmly intact, but having three different guys’ tongues (and other body parts) in my mouth in that short amount of time was definitely good practice in becoming one. But instead of crawling out of my bed and working to maintain some dignity by moving to the couch, I curled up into Ash’s body and felt overall bliss from head to toe as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to his body. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, “Get some sleep, butterfly, it’s still early. Stop over thinking everything.” And I did my best as I drifted off again.



Sometime later I awoke to a male voice whispering my name in my ear. “Scarlett, Scarlett, wake up.” My eyes shot open. Ash was leaning over me, fully dressed. What was he doing in my room? The events from the previous day rushed through my mind and I remembered his early morning arrival. I closed my eyes and groaned. “What time is it?”



“It’s almost ten. I’ve got to get home and finish a paper or I’d take you to breakfast.” His face was still mere inches from mine and I wondered how his breath could be so sweet after just waking up. “I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”



“Kay. I’m going back to sleep. Bye,” I murmured.



He chuckled and reached down to kiss my forehead. A few moments later I heard my bedroom door open and close, followed by voices in the living area and the closing of the main door. Uggghh. I had hoped that he could’ve left without Evie seeing him, but no such luck. I buried my head in my pillow and waited for her.



Evie did not disappoint. Less than a minute later, my door swung open and I felt her climb in bed with me. She didn’t beat around the bush. “Dare I ask why when I last saw you, you were leaving here on a date with Dylan and then this morning as I’m getting some water, I see Ash leaving your bedroom looking like he just woke up?”



“I plead the fifth,” I mumbled, still hiding under my pillow protection.



“I hope you know what you are doing, Scarlett. Contrary to the ninety nine percent of the books that you read and movies you watch, in reality, things don’t always turn out all wrapped up with a perfectly tied bow. I know we like to joke around about it and draw parallels of our lives with these fictional characters, but this is real life, Sam, and I’m really worried about you getting hurt.” Her concern was evident in her voice. “You want to tell me what happened?”



I pulled my head out and proceeded to tell her about how wonderful the date was but how Dylan started acting all weird, and then how I had forgotten to let Ash know that I wasn’t going to Jacob’s so he got worried… again.



“He was so worried he had to come check on you here?” She lifted her eyebrows in disbelief. “You expect me to believe that y’all are still just friends after everything I’ve seen in the last two days?”



“Nothing happened, Evie. I swear. We just slept, he didn’t even get here until after one,” I tried to explain.



She was quiet for a minute and then said, “Look, like I told you yesterday and the day before that, do what you feel is right for you. I’ll be here to support you no matter what. I was just surprised to see him.”



I nodded, knowing that she wished I would stay as far away from Ash as possible. She was well aware of my weakness and vulnerability when it came to him, as was I. Remembering her coming home in the middle of the night, I asked, “Hey, why did you come home at like 3:00 this morning, and was Max with you? I thought y’all were staying at his place.”



“I got a headache and I didn’t have any medicine on me, so Max and I decided to just stay the night here. He’s still asleep in my bed”



“A headache?” I blurted out. “I thought you had stopped getting them since you got the glasses?”



“Dude, chill out,” Evie waved her hand like it was no big deal. “It wasn’t too bad, I think I got it because I didn’t have any caffeine yesterday. You know, like withdrawals or something.”