Midnight Blue

He tapped my nose with the hand that held the cigarette, smirking down at me like I was the simplest creature in the world.

“So fucking precious, Stardust. Just do it. We’re heading back to the hotel in ten.”

And off he walked.

I wasn’t his assistant. I was his sobriety companion. It occurred to me I wasn’t obligated to help him score. Furthermore, for the most part, it was probably for the best if I didn’t do that. I mean, there was no mistaking the current moving through my body. I was jealous beyond words, belief, and logic. But maybe that was exactly why I needed to let it go and comply.

I needed to show him I didn’t care.

I needed to show myself I didn’t care.

We were one week into a three-month tour, and already he’d declared his intention to get me into his bed and turn my life upside down. I couldn’t give him this power over me. I had my family and future to think about. And they were more important than any British hunk with eyes like molten gold and a devastating smirk.

I cleared my throat, squared my shoulders, and walked over to the girl. With every step I took, I inwardly prayed she was like me. Guarded and rational. That she would laugh in my face and tell me to take a hike. That she would turn red, personally walk over to Alex Winslow, and slap him in the name of feminism and self-respect. I stopped about a foot from her, tapping her shoulder to grab her attention. She turned around, a mixture of surprise and annoyance between the creases of her frowny face.

“Hi.” I smiled, swallowing down my nervousness. Every muscle in my face betrayed me, and I was sure I looked at least a little psychotic. “I work for Alex Winslow. He sent me here because he’s interested in”—driving me nuts —“spending the night with you. So I’m wondering if you’d like that, and, if so, would you be willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement?”

I wasn’t even sure where the hell I was going to find one, but my instincts told me Blake must have them handy. He was legally-savvy. Come to think about it, he was everything-savvy.

The girl’s frown disappeared, replaced with a nose-wrinkled expression of disbelief.

I know, right? What a bastard. So just say no and we can all go back to pretending this never happened.

“Alex Winslow wants to spend the night with me?”

“Seems that way.” I hated her for not slamming the idea right away, hated him for sending me over to her, but most of all, I hated myself for being stupid enough to go ahead with it to prove something to the world.

“I don’t believe you.”

I turned around, did a little hand-wave toward the guys, and caught their attention. All of them swiveled to stare at me. Lucas looked pained. Blake looked tired. Alex smiled his arrogant wolf’s grin, raising an eyebrow and his hand, tipping it slightly forward in a ‘hi’ motion.

I hope she has an STD. I hope she has all the STDs known to man, and a few new ones she’d created all on her own.

“See?” I turned back to the lady in question. “He’s in.”

“Oh, my God. Then so am I! I mean, I’d like to look at this contract, but…” She had an Aussie accent. Suddenly, I took all of her in, gulping every detail. Her luscious black hair. Her dark, feline eyes. Her pierced navel and Snow White skin. My wide-eyed, freckled, average self hated every inch of her. And that made me feel guilty.

I mustered a smile. “Fantastic. Be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

I soldiered on to the boys, adding a fake bounce to my step. Two could play this game. I may not have a lot of experience, or millions of fans, or billions of dollars, but I was good. I was strong, and I was worthy. And, yes, I sure as hell was equal to him.

“She’s in,” I said, yanking a bottle of water from the long table of refreshments behind them and unscrewing the top. Turning toward Blake, I took a slow sip. “Can you provide her with an NDA? She said she’d like to look at it, but judging by the time it took her to say yes, I’m pretty sure she’s a skimmer.”

“Well, damn, Blue.” Blake’s eyebrows were kissing his hairline. “No wonder Jenna likes you. You have a good set of hairy balls on you.”

“Not sure about hers, but mine are waxed.” I winked.

All the guys laughed as Blake sauntered over to the girl with an agreement in his hand. It was the first time he’d called me Blue, and even though the moment felt like the end of the world, it also felt like a beginning of something. Of acceptance.

All the guys laughed but Alex, who stared holes into my forehead, his look alone threatening to kill someone, preferably me.

“You’re one cool bird, know that?” Lucas moved beside me, brushing his shoulder against mine.

Alex grabbed the bottle of water I’d opened and put back on the table and downed the entire drink. “Pushover.”

“Come again?” I asked, willing myself to stay calm.

Alex angled his body toward mine, a dark smirk on his lips. “I said you’re a pushover. You did what I told you to do, never fighting back, never saving face.”

“Saving face?” I blinked rapidly, trying hard not to scream in his face. This. Man . “I don’t need to save any face. You wanted me to hook you up. I did. You’re just disappointed I didn’t fight over you. But guess what? I’m not them. The fangirls. The women with stars in the eyes. When I look at you?” I took a step toward him, and he took a step forward, too, and it was all too wrong and too close and too intimate all at once. “When I look at you, I see something broken that isn’t worth fixing. And you look at me like I’m a cheap thing to replace the expensive one that’s been stolen from you. See, we’re all vases. And you’re the one scattered on the floor, shattered beyond repair. So I’ll let someone else pick you up. It’s really that simple. Have fun with your temporary glue.” My gaze swept across the room to find the mystery girl already giggling and signing the contract she pressed against Blake’s back while the latter was texting on his phone in boredom.

Alex unleashed a toxic smile, his gaze narrowing on mine as he broke our physical stare-off and began walking to her.

“Congratulations, Sport. You just became a war.”

That night, I heard them through the wall.

Their hands. Shuffling. Feeling. Searching. Finding.

Walking down the hall. Our hall. Right outside my door.