Midnight Blue

“I’ll finish out.”

“Alex, what the hell?”

“I just really need to feel you.”

“You will. Through a condom.”

“No. All of you.”

“You can’t have all of me.” But even I knew that was a lie.

I wondered if he really expected me to agree to go bareback our first time while he picked up his jeans from the floor and sorted through the pockets until he found his wallet. There was one condom there—just the one—and the wrapper looked crumpled and old. My heart cartwheeled happily at that. I watched as he sheathed himself, his eyes focused on the condom he rolled over his shaft—upper teeth biting his lower lip—before he returned his gaze to me. His cock pressed onto my lower belly.

“Stardust,” he breathed, shaking his head slightly. “Stardust, Stardust, Stardust.”

Then he thrust into me all at once. I whimpered, threading my fingers in his hair and bringing him down, his forehead pressing into mine. I chattered, “Alex.”

He thrust. Again. Then again. His movements were rough and callused. Every time he drove into me, his hips ground on mine painfully, like he wanted me to feel how he felt, trapped inside his body, inside his thoughts. I had no illusions about Alex’s nature. He was an addict and a tortured soul, and he wasn’t going to stick around. But this felt like everything I didn’t know I could wish for. This made me settle for ‘For Now’ instead of ‘Forever.’

“Christ,” he muttered, his lips on mine, then on my chin, my ear, back up on my cheek. We were a heap of flesh and limbs. I felt him rattling something inside me, and my womb clenched every time he pushed into me. He grabbed one of my legs and hoisted it over his shoulder, sliding even deeper than before, and I cried out so loud, I was sure every resident in the hotel could hear me.

“It’s so intense.” I sucked in a breath, but that only made him go even harder. He knew what I needed—we always knew what the other needed. That was the tragic thing about us. We were compatible in so many ways—and used ourselves as weapons against each other.

“I’m going to come.” My body was quivering from the inside. Goose bumps crawled over my skin as tiny, steady hot waves of pleasure began to wash through me, head to toe. “I’m coming…”

I threw my head back and shuddered in his arms, feeling like a lit match.

“Fuck, if we don’t change position, I’ll come, too,” he growled, flipping me over on my knees and driving into me again.

“Ohhhh…” My mouth dropped open in pleasure.

Alex snaked his arm around my waist and started playing with my clit, nibbling on my earlobe. I knew he was going to say something. He took special pleasure in talking into my ear like that when I couldn’t see him. When I was at his mercy.

“Come for me again, Stardust,” he said, fucking me mercilessly, and tears pooled in my eyes. It felt so intimate and promising. And he knew how I’d felt about empty promises. “Come all over my cock like the good, bad girl that you are.”

I came again, falling to the mattress with a thud as he continued driving into me and playing with me at the same time, the overstimulation making me twitch now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He drove into me once more, jerking inside me and slapping my ass at the same time as he collapsed over me, his entire weight on my back.

He stayed inside me, little grunts of pleasure escaping his lips, his chest plastered over my back. I wanted to turn around and look at him, but I couldn’t move.

“I should start asking you for rent money if you decide to stay on top of me any longer. You’re not light, Alex,” I grunted softly.

He laughed and slapped my ass playfully again, rolling on the bed, pulling out of me gently.

“You should. I’d pay good money to stay in this position.” He went for the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand, but I put my hand on his arm, stopping him. Our eyes locked.

“We’re sharing a room now. I wanted to tell you earlier, when you lit one up, but I was too busy with the Craig thing. You can smoke on the patio. Not here.”

“Is this a joke?” he said, looking incredulous. It didn’t matter that he paid for the room. I was the one who was going to need to pay for the medical bills when I got cancer from all the secondhand smoke.

“I’d like to believe my sense of humor is better than that,” I replied.

He stood up, still butt naked, and walked to the balcony with his pack of cigarettes. His dong was swinging from side to side, and it would look ridiculous and embarrassing on anyone else, but not on a rock star. No. Alex looked perfectly confident and horrendously cool.

“Wear something!” I called out from the bed, wrapping my chest in a white sheet.

He whirled and walked backward, smoothly opening the giant glass door as he flashed me a wolfish grin, canine teeth galore.

“Why, I’m wearing the most beautiful thing one could wear, darlin’. My smile.”

The problem with the world is when you’re having fun, days seem to stick together into lumps, but when you’re miserable and alone, every day is a year, an island, a padded room you cannot get away from.

Three days had passed since I’d gotten into Indigo Bellamy’s panties. Three days in which I’d made it a point to drive into her in every position, angle, and location in Greater London.

We shagged in the Jacuzzi—twice—taking a shower—three times—in bed—four times—and in a black cab—one time—and I’d had to stuff her face with a Mind The Gap shirt while she was sitting on top of me wearing a long dress. We went sightseeing. We visited my old Clapham neighborhood, and other times we just stayed in our room, fucking or watching reruns of The Mighty Bush and Never Mind the Buzzcocks —both of which she thoroughly enjoyed. Fallon always thought my favorite shows were stupid.

Though, to be completely honest, Fallon was the least of my worries in London. For the first time in years, I actually enjoyed myself. I even answered Blake’s calls, though I did keep it professional and curt. Alfie dropped by our hotel room one day and brought Afghan food, which we all ate on the floor, watching Shaun of the Dead . I couldn’t be mad at the tosser. He literally had the social awareness of a chapstick.

Then, on the fourth day, Indie nudged me. “Your parents. We need to go visit them.”