Mini Shopaholic
‘You’re saying that if we don’t cure Becky, Minnie could turn into a shopaholic herself?’
I’ve never known him look so anxious.
‘Well, addictive behaviour is known to run in families.’ They’re both talking as though I’m not even here.
‘I’m not addicted,’ I say furiously. ‘And neither is Minnie!’ I snatch the pocket-money book from him. Nanny Sue must have added it up wrong. We can’t have spent that much.
Minnie has been hoovering her way efficiently through the shortbread biscuits on the coffee table, but now she notices the pocket-money book.
‘Pocket money?’ Her eyes light up. ‘Shops?’ She starts tugging at my hand. ‘Starbucks-shops?’
‘Not now,’ I say hurriedly.
‘Shops! Shops!’ Minnie is tugging at my hand in frustration, as though if I just understood, I’d do what she wanted. It’s the same look Dad got in France, that time we wanted to buy an electric fan and all the French shop assistants stared blankly as he shouted ‘Fan! Fan! Electrique!’ and whirled his hands around.
‘Shops.’
‘No, Minnie!’ I snap. ‘Be quiet now!’
Minnie looks as though she’s racking her brain for another way to put it – then her face lights up. ‘Visa?’
Luke breaks off his conversation and stares at her, stricken.
‘Did she just say “Visa”?’
‘Isn’t she clever?’ I give an over-bright laugh. ‘The things children say …’
‘Becky, this is bad. Really bad.’
He looks so upset I feel a sudden clanging in my chest.
‘It’s not bad!’ I say desperately. ‘She’s not … I’m not …’ I trail off helplessly. For a moment no one says anything except Minnie, who is still tugging my arm, exclaiming, ‘Visa!’
At last I draw breath. ‘You really think there’s a problem, don’t you? Well, fine. If you think I should go to boot camp, I’ll go to boot camp.’
‘Don’t worry, Becky.’ Nanny Sue laughs. ‘It won’t be as bad as all that. It’ll simply be a programme of discussion and behaviour modification, based at our London headquarters, with a residential option for those from far away. We’ll be having workshops, one-to-ones, role play … I think you’ll enjoy it!’
Enjoy it?
She hands me a leaflet, which I can’t even bring myself to look at. I can’t believe I’ve agreed to go to boot camp. I knew we should never have let Nanny Sue back in the house.
‘The main thing is, Minnie’s OK.’ Luke exhales. ‘We’ve been really worried.’
Nanny Sue takes a sip of tea and looks from him to me. ‘Out of interest … what made you think she had problems in the first place?’
‘I never did,’ I point out at once. ‘It was Luke. He said we couldn’t have another baby because we couldn’t control Minnie. He said she was too wild.’
As I’m speaking, it hits me. He hasn’t got any more excuses! Result! I whip round to Luke.
‘So will you change your mind now about having another baby? You have to change your mind.’
‘I … don’t know.’ Luke looks cornered. ‘You don’t just rush into these things, Becky. It’s a big step …’
‘Everything in life is a big step!’ I say dismissively. ‘Don’t be a scaredy-cat. You think Minnie should have a sibling, don’t you?’ I appeal to Nanny Sue. ‘You think it would be good for her?’
Ha. That’ll teach Luke. Two can play the Getting-Nanny-Sue-On-Their-Side game.
‘That’s a very personal decision.’ She looks thoughtful. ‘However, it’s sometimes helpful to discuss these things. Luke, is there a particular reason why you don’t want to have another child?’
‘No,’ says Luke after a long pause. ‘Not really.’ He looks very uncomfortable, I suddenly notice.
Why is this such a sore point with him?
‘Of course, babies are disruptive little creatures …’ begins Nanny Sue.
‘Minnie wasn’t!’ I defend her immediately. ‘I mean, only a tiny bit—’ I break off in sudden dismay. ‘Is it because of when she chewed up those papers that time? Because she was teething, Luke, and you shouldn’t have left them on the bed, and you should have made photocopies—’
‘It’s not that!’ Luke cuts me with a sudden heat. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. That wouldn’t be a reason. That wouldn’t be—’ He breaks off abruptly, an odd, jarring note to his voice. His face is turned away, but I can see the tension growing in his neck.