Mini Shopaholic

‘Outside, in the car. So, it’s the party tonight, I take it?’

Her voice sounds so stiff and hurt that I cringe, simultaneously feeling a bit resentful. She’s the one who’s been living it up with mud wraps and cocktails. How come she gets to be stiff and resentful?

‘Yes.’ I pause a moment, then add with a shrug, ‘You were right, by the way. It was all nearly a disaster. Turns out I couldn’t do it on my own.’

‘Love, no one ever said you had to do it on your own. And I’m sorry I said …’ Mum trails off awkwardly.

‘Well, I’m sorry too,’ I say, a bit stiffly. ‘I hope I don’t let you down tonight.’

‘I wasn’t aware that I was invited.’

‘Well … I wasn’t aware that you weren’t.’

We’re both standing at angles to each other, our chins averted. I’m not sure where we go from here.

‘Oh, love.’ Mum’s cool façade crumbles first. ‘Let’s not argue! I’m sorry I ever mentioned … you-know-who. Mr Wham! Club Tropicana fellow. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.’

‘I know who you mean,’ I say hastily, before she does the whole of Wham! Rap.

‘I didn’t mean to put you down. I was just anxious for you, love.’

‘Mum, you don’t need to worry about me!’ I roll my eyes. ‘I’m a grown-up, remember? I’m twenty-nine. I’m a mother.’

‘And I’m a mother!’ She claps a hand to her chest dramatically. ‘You wait, love! It doesn’t go away! Ever!’

Oh my God. Is that true? Am I still going to be stressing about Minnie when she’s twenty-nine and married?

No. No way. I’m nothing like Mum. I’ll be on a Caribbean cruise by then, having a good time.

‘Anyway,’ Mum’s saying, ‘Dad and I have done a lot of talking over the last few days, in the steam room and during massages …’

Honestly. Have my parents once made it out of the spa?

‘I can see why you might have felt you needed to mislead us about the house,’ Mum presses on, her face pink. ‘I’m sorry I overreacted, love. And I realize I’ve been a bit … tense, these last few weeks.’ She sighs gustily. ‘It’s just been a tricky time, what with all of us in the house … and the Cutting Back didn’t help …’

‘I know.’ Instantly I’m full of remorse. ‘And we’ve been so grateful to live here …’

‘You don’t need to feel grateful! This is your home, love!’

‘But even so, it was too long. No wonder we all got a bit tetchy. I’m sorry all our stuff stressed you out, and I’m sorry about fibbing …’ My cool façade has totally crumbled too. ‘And of course I want you to come to the party, if you want to.’

‘Of course I want to! Janice says it’s going to be wonderful. She says she’s doing touch-ups! She’s bought three extra tubes of Touche éclat!’

I have to talk to Janice.

‘It is going to be wonderful. Just wait.’ I can’t help bubbling over. ‘Wait till you see the birthday cake, Mum. And the decorations.’

‘Oh, love, come here.’ Mum holds out her arms for a hug and squeezes me tight. ‘I’m so proud of you. I’m sure it’ll be wonderful! Janice says it’s a Pride and Prejudice theme now? Luke’ll look super as Mr Darcy! I’ve bought a bonnet and Dad’s got some breeches, and I’m going to curl my hair—’

‘What?’ I draw away. ‘It’s not bloody Pride and Prejudice! Where did that come from?’

‘Oh.’ Mum looks taken aback. ‘Well, I’m sure Janice said she was wearing that lovely blue dress from the am dram production …’

For God’s sake. Just because Janice is wearing her Mrs Bennet costume, suddenly the whole thing is Pride and Prejudice?

‘It’s not Pride and Prejudice. And it’s not Japanese. So don’t get any ideas about kimonos.’

‘Well, what is it? Is there a theme?’

‘Kind of.’ I debate internally for a moment – then make a snap decision. ‘Come and see.’

I pull her into the kitchen, unlock my box file and pull out Danny’s drawings. ‘Here are the designs. Top secret. Don’t say a word to anybody.’

Mum peers at them uncertainly for a moment – then recognition flashes over her face.

‘Oh, Becky,’ she says at last. ‘Oh, love.’

‘I know.’ I can’t help beaming. ‘Isn’t it amazing?’