Julia Stanford had never known her father, and now he was dead, reduced to a black headline in the Kansas, I City star: TYCOON HARRY STANFORD "DROWNS AT SEA. She sat there, staring at his photograph on the front age of the newspaper, filled with conflicting emotions. Do I hate him because of the way he treated my mother. or do I love him because he's my father? Do Ifeel guilty because I never tried to get in touch with him, or do I feel angry because he never tried to find me? It doesn't matter anymore, she thought. He's gone. Her father had been dead to her all her life, and now he had died again, cheating her out of something she had no words for. Inexplicably, she felt an overwhelming sense of loss. Stupid! Julia thought. How can I miss someone I never knew? She looked at the newspaper photograph again. Do I have anything of him in me? Julia stared into [email protected] on the wall. The eyes. have the same deep gray eyes. Julia went into her bedroom closet, removed a battered cardboard box, and from it lifted a leather-bound scrapbook. She sat on the edge of her bed and opened the box. For the next two hours, she pored over its familiar contents. There were countless photographs of her mother in her governess's uniform, with Harry Stanford and Mrs. Stanford and their three young children. Most of the pictures had been taken on their yacht, atkose Hill, or at the Hobe Sound villa. Julia picked up the yellowed newspaper clippings recounting the scandal that had happened so many years before in Boston. The faded headlines were lurid: LOVE NEST ON BEACON HILL BILLIONAIRE HARRY STANFORD IN SCANDAL TYCOON'S WIFE COMMITS SUICIDE GOVERNESS ROSEMARY NELSON DISAPPEARS There were dozens of gossip columns filled with innuendos. Julia sat there for a long time, lost in the past. She had been born at St. Joseph's Hospital in Milwaukee. Her earliest memories were of living in dreary walk-up apartments and constantly moving from city to city. There were, times when there was no money at all, and little to eat. Her mother was continually ill, and it had been difficult for her to find steady work.

The young girl quickly learned never to ask for toys or new dresses. 112 Julia started school when she was five, and her classmates would mock her because she wore the same dress "'and scruffy shoes every day.

When the other children [email protected],teased her, Julia fought them. She was a rebel, and she *as always being brought up before the principal. Her teachers didn't know what to do with her. She was in tonstant trouble.

She might have been expelled except for one thing: she was the brightest student in her class. Her mother had told Julia that her father was dead, and she had accepted that. But when Julia was twelve years old, she stumbled across a picture album filled with photographs of her mother with a group of Strangers. ' are these people?' Julia asked.

And Julia's mother decided that the time had come. ' down, my darling.' She took Julia's hand and held it tightly. There was no way to break the news tactfully.-'That is your father, and your half sister, and your two half brothers.' Julia was , looking at her, puzzled. ' don't understand.' The truth had finally come out, shattering Julia's peace of mind. Her father was alive! And she had a half sister and two half brothers. It was too much to comprehend.'Why ... why did you lie to me?" were too young to understand. Your father and I ... had an affair. He was married, and I ... I had to leave, to have you." hate him!' Julia said. 113 ' mustn't hate him." could he have done this to yout she demanded. ' happened was my fault as much as his." Each word was agony. ' father was a very attractive man, and I was young and foolish. I knew that nothing could ever come of our affair. He told me he loved me ... but he was married and had a family. And ... and then I became pregnant.' It was difficult for her to go on. ' reporter got hold of the story and it was in all the newspapers. I ran away. I intended for you and me to go back to him, but his wife killed herself, and I ... I could never face him or the children again. It was my fault you see. So don't blame him.' But there was a part of the story Rosemary never revealed to her daughter. When the baby was born, the clerk at the hospital said, ''re filling out the birth certificate. The baby's name is Julia Nelsont Rosemary had started to say yes, and then she thought fiercely, No! She's Harry Stanford's daughter. She's entitled to his name, and his support. ' daughter's name is Julia Stanford.' She had written to Harry Stanford, telling him about Julia, but she had never had a reply. Julia was fascinated by the idea that she had a family she had not known about, and also by the fact that they were famous enough to be written about in the pre ss. She went to the public library and looked up 114 everything she Could, about Harry Stanford. There , dozens of articles about him. He was a billionaire, "and he lived in another world, a world that Julia and her mother were totally excluded from. one day, when one of Julia's classmates teased her , being poor, Julia said defiantly, ''m not poor! My father is one of the- richest men in the world. We have a yacht and an airplane, and a dozen beautiful ,.' Her teacher heard her. ', come up here.' Julia approached the teacher's desk. ' must not ttell a lie like that."

"It's not a lie,' Julia retorted. ' father is a billionaire! He knows presidents and kings!' The teacher looked at the young girl standing before her in her shabby cotton dress and said, ', that's not [email protected] ' 1st' Julia said stubbornly. She was sent to the principal's office. She never mentioned her father at school again. , Julia learned that the reason she and her mother kept moving from city to city was because of the news media. Harry Stanford was constantly in the press, and the gossip newspapers and magazines kept digging up the old scandal. Investigative reporters would eventually discover who Rosemary Nelson was and where she arrived, and she would have to take Julia and flee. 115 Julia read every newspaper story that appeared about Harry Stanford, and each time, she was tempted to telephone him. She wanted to believe that during all those years he had been desperately searching for her mother. I'll call and say, ' is your daughter. If you want to see us . And he would come to them and fall in love all over again, and marry her mother, and they would all live happily together. Julia Stanford grew into a beautiful young woman. She had lustrous dark hair, a laughing, generous mouth, the luminous gray eyes of her father, and a gently curved figure. But when she smiled, people forgot about everything else but that smile. Because they were forced to move so often, Julia went to schools in five different states. During the summers she worked as a clerk in -a department store, behind the counter in a drugstore, and as a receptionist. She was always fiercely independent.

They were living in Kansas City, Kansas, when Julia finished college on a scholarship. She was not sure what she wanted to do with her life.

Friends, impressed by her beauty, suggested that she become a movie actress. ''d be a star overnight!' Julia had dismissed the idea with a casual, ' wants to get up that early every morning?' But the real reason she was not interested was 116 use she wanted, above all, her privacy. It seemed to Julia that all their lives, she and her mother had been @hoiinded by the press because of what had happened so many years earlier. Julia's dream of one day uniting her mother and father ,,ended the day her mother died. Julia felt an overpowering sense of loss.

Myjather has to know, Julia thought. Mother was a part of his life. She looked up the telephone number of his business headquarters in Boston. A receptionist answered. ' morning, Stanford Enterprises.' Julia hesitated. ' Enterprises. Hello? May I help yout Slowly Julia replaced the receiver. Mother wouldn't have wanted me to make that call.

She was alone now. She had no one. Julia buried her mother at Memorial Park Cemetery in Kansas City. There were no mourners. Julia stood at the graveside and thought, It isn'tfair, Mama You made one mistake andpaidjor it-the rest of your life. I wish I could have taken some of your pain away. I love you very much, Mama. I'll always love you. All she had left of her mother's years on earth was a collection of old photographs and clippings. With her mother gone, Julia's thoughts turned to the Stanford family. They were rich. She could go to them 117 _LL- for help. Never, she decided. Not after the way Harry Stanford treated my mother. But she had to earn a living. She was faced with a career decision. She thought wryly, Maybe I'll become a brain surgeon. Or a painter? Opera singer? Physicist? Astronaut? She settled for a secretarial course at night school at Kansas City, Kansas, Community College. The day after Julia finished the course, she visited an employment agency. There were a dozen applicants waiting to see the employment counselor. Sitting next to Julia was an attractive woman her age. '! I'm Sally Connors." Stanford."'ve got to get a job today,' Sally moaned. ''ve been kicked out of my apartment.' Julia heard her name called. ' luck!' Sally said. '.' Julia walked into the office of the employment counselor. ' down, please." you." see from your application that you have a college education and summer work experience. And you have a high recommendation from the secretarial school.' 118 she looked at the dossier on her desk. ' take short. hand at ninety words per minute, and type at sixty ,..,words per minutet ', ma'am." might have just the thing for you. There's a small firm of architects that's looking for a secretary. The -salary isn't very large, I'm afraid."'s okay,' Julia said quickly. ' well. I'm going to send [email protected] over there.' She handed Julia a slip of paper with a typed name and address on it. ''ll interview you at noon tomorrow.1 Julia smiled happily. ' you.' She was filled with a sense of excitement. When Julia came out of the office, Sally's name was being called. ' hope you get something,' Julia said. '! On an impulse, Julia decided to stay and wait. Ten minutes later, when Sally came out of the inner office, she was grinning. ' got an interview! She telephoned, and I'm going to the American Mutual Insurance Company, tomorrow for a receptionist job. How did you dot ''ll know tomorrow, too."'m sure we'll make it. Why don't we have lunch together and celebratet '.' 119 At lunch they talked, and their friendship clicked instantly. @ ' looked at an, apartment in Overland Park,' Sally said. ''s a two-bedroom and bath, with a kitchen and living room. It's really nice. I can't afford it alone, but if the two of us.. Julia smiled. ''d like that.' She crossed her fingers. ' I get the job."

"You'll get it!' Sally assured her. On the way to the offices of Peters, Eastman & Tolkin, Julia thought, This could be my big opportunity. This could lead anywhere. I mean, this isn't just a job. r1l be working for architects. Dreamers who build and shape the city's skyline, who create beauty and magic out of stone. Maybe ril study architecture myse#@,' so that I can help them and be a part of that dream. The office was in a dingy old commercial building on Amour Boulevard. Julia took the elevator to the third floor, got off and stopped at a scarred door marked PETERS, EASTMAN & TOLKIN, ARCHITECTS. She took a deep breath to calm herself and entered. ' men were waiting for her in the reception room, examining her as she walked in the door. ''re here for the secretarial jobt ', sir."'m Al Peters.' The bald -one.

"Bob Eastman.' The ponytail. 120 ' Tolkin.' The potbelly. They all appeared to be somewhere in their forties. ' understand this is your first secretarial job,' Al Peters said. ', it is,' Julia replied.

Then quickly she added, ' I'm a fast learner. I'll work very hard.'She decided not to me ntion her idea about going to school to study yet. She would wait unt'il they got to know her better. ' right, we'll try you out,' Bob Eastman said,'and see how it goes.' Julia felt a sense of exhilaration. ', thank you! You won't be - 9 ' the salary,' Max Tolkin said. ''m afraid we can't pay very much at the beginning."'s all right,' Julia said. ' ..." hundred a week,' A] Peters tqld her. They were right. It was not much money. Julia made a quick decision. ''ll take it.' They looked at one another and exchanged smiles. '!' Al Peters said. ' me show you around.' The tour took only a few seconds. There was the little reception room and three small offices that looked as though they had been furnished by the Salvation Army. The lavatory was down the hall. They were all architects, but Al, Peters was the businessman, Bob Eastman was the salesman, and Max Tolkin handled construction. ''ll be working for all of us,' Peters told her. 121 '.' Julia knew she was going to make herself indispensable to them. Al Peters looked at his watch. ''s twelve thirty. How about some lunch?' Julia felt a little thrill. She was part of the team now. they're inviting me to lunch. He turned to Julia. ''s a delicatessen down the block. I'll have a corned beef sandwich on rye with mustard, potato salad, and a Danish.".' So much for ''re inviting me to lunch.' Tolkin said, ''ll have a pastrami and some chicken soup: ', sir.' Bob Eastman spoke, up. ''ll have the pot roast platter and a soft drink.", make sure the corned beef is lean,' Al Peters told her. ' corned beef.' Max Tolkin said, ' sure that the soup is hot.". Soup hot.' Bob Eastman said, ' my soft drink a diet cola." cola."'s some money.'Al Peters handed her a twentydollar bill. Ten minutes later, Julia was in the delicatessen, talking to the man behind the counter. ' want one lean corned beef sandwich on rye with mustard, potato salad, and a Danish. A pastrami sandwich and very 122 hot chicken soup. And a pot roast platter and diet cola., he man nodded. ' work for Peters, Eastman, A Tolkin, huh?' and Sally moved into the apartment in Overland the following week.

The apartment consisted of ro small bedrooms, a living room with furniture that ' seen too many tenants, a kitchenette, dinette, and a bathroom. 7hey'll never confuse this place with the AM, Julia thought.

"We'll take turns at cooking,' Sally suggested. '.' Sally prepared the first meal, and it was delicious. The next night was Julia's turn.

Sally took one bite of the dish that Julia had made and said, ', I don't have a lot of life insurance. Why don't I do the cooking and you do the cleaning?' The two roommates got along well. On weekends they would go to see movies at the Glenwood 4, and shop at the Bannister Mall. They bought their clothes at the Super Flea Discount House. One night a week they went out to an inexpensive restaurant for dinner - Stephenson's Old Apple Farm or the cafe Max for Mediterranean specialties. When they could afford it, they would drop in at Charlie Charlies to hear jazz. 123 Julia enjoyed working for Peters, Eastman & Tolkin. To say that the firm was not doing well was an understatement.

Clients were scarce. Julia felt that she wasn't doing much to help build the skyline of the city, but she enjoyed being around her three bosses.

They were like a surrogate family, and each one confided his problems to Julia. She was capable and efficient, and she very quickly reorganized the office. Julia decided to do something about the lack of clients. But what? She soon had the answer. There was an item in the Kansas City Star about a luncheon for a new executive secretary organization. The chairperson was Susan Bandy. The following day, at noon-, Julia said to Al Peters, ' may be a little late coming back from lunch.' . He smiled.

"No problem, Julia.' He thought how lucky they were to have her. Julia arrived at the Plaza Inn and went to the room where the luncheon was being given. The woman seated at the table near the door said, ' I help Your '. I'm here for the Executive Women's luncheon." name?" Stanford.' The woman looked at the list in front of her.

"I'm afraid I don't see your -' Julia smiled. ''t that just like Susan? I'll have to 124 have a talk with her. I'm the executive secretary with Peters, Eastman, & Tolkin.' The woman looked uncertain.

"Well .. ''t worry about it. I'll just go in and find ,.' In the banquet room was a group of well-dressed women chatting among themselves. Julia approached one of them. ' one is Susan Bandy?"

"She's over there.' She indicated, a tall, striking looking woman in her forties. Julia went up to her. '. I'm Julia Stanford."."'m with Peters, Eastman, & Tolkin. I'm sure you've heard of them.", I ..."'re the fastest growing architectural firm in Kansas City." 41 see.1 ' don't have a lot of time to spare, but I would like to contribute whatever I can to the organization.", that's very kind of you, Miss ... '.' That was the beginning. The Executive Women's organization represented most of the top firms in Kansas City, and in no time at all, Julia was networking with them. She had lunch with one or more of the individual members at least once a week.

125 ' company is going to put up a new building in Olathe.' And Julia would immediately report back to her bosses. @ '. Hanley wants to build a summer home in Tonganoxie.' And before anyone else found out about it, Peters, Eastman & Tolkin had the jobs. Bob Eastman called Julia in one day and said, ' deserve a raise, Julia. You're doing a great job.

You're one hell of a secretary!" you do me a favort Julia asked.

"Sure." me an executive secretary. It will help my credibility." From time to time, Julia would read newspaper articles about her father, or watch him being interviewed on television. She never mentioned him to Sally or to her employers. When Julia was younger, one of her daydreams had been that, like Dorothy, she would one day be whisked away from Kansas to some beautiful, magical place. It would be a place filled with yachts and private planes and palaces. But now, with the news of her father's death, that dream was ended forever. Welli I got the Kansas part right, she thought wryly. I have nofamily left. But I do, Julia corrected herself. I have two halfbrothers and a ha#sister. They'refamily.

Should I go visi t them? Good idea? Bad idea? I wonder how we wouldfeel about one another? Her decision turned out to be a matter of life or death.