No Tomorrow

After dinner with Ditra, I drive across town to see Blue, and I tell him excitedly about the apartment as we sit on the bed together. I take Ditra’s advice to not push him to help me move, or to come over or to stay the night or move in. She thinks he has a fear of commitment and needs things to go at his own pace and be “his” idea. I agree.

“You look happy,” he says when I finally stop babbling on about my new closet space and the quiet street I’ll live on.

“I am. I’ve wanted my own place for such a long time.”

“You deserve it. I loved my first place. It was kind of a shit hole, but it was cool.”

“Was that in Jersey?”

“Yeah. I lived with my buddy, Reece. He’s probably still there.”

This is the first he’s ever mentioned any of his friends and I make a mental note to remember his name in case he brings him up again. “What did you like most about it? Having your own place…”

Head cocked to the side, he thinks about his answer. “I guess being able to just chill and be me. Living in a space that’s a reflection of me instead of trying to be comfortable in someone else’s space.”

“I know what you mean. My parents have lived in our house since they got married. You want to hear what drives me crazy?”

He grins. “Tell me.”

“They have this big dining room filled with all kinds of fancy stuff, and they never use it. It sits empty. I think we’ve eaten in there twice since I was born. And I hate it. It’s such a waste. If that was my house, I’d eat every meal in there, on the expensive plates, and stare out the window at the flowers and bushes they pay a landscaper to take care of. Even if I was just eating freakin’ ice cream, I’d sit there. I wouldn’t be waiting for a special day.”

Laughing, he leans closer and kisses the top of my head. “You’re adorable. I’d make every day special for you if I could.”

“You do,” I reply softly. “I wish you could see that.”

“Me, too, Piper. Me, too.” He stands and takes my hands, pulling me up off the bed to stand in front of him. “You mind if I lay down? I’m getting a bad headache.”

“Of course not. Do you want me to get you anything?”

“No, babe, I’m okay. I just want to lay down in the dark.”

“Do you want me to stay? I can rub your head.”

“Nah. I’ll be okay. Why don’t you meet me at the park tomorrow? I heard it’s not going to be too cold.”

“Okay.” I squeeze his hands. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow will be better. I want you to go home and eat ice cream in the dining room after your parents go to bed.”

I laugh. “I just might do that.”

Cupping his face in my hands, I pull him down so I can kiss his lips. “I hope you feel better. I’ll bring coffee and bagels in the morning.”

“Don’t do that. We’ll go together.”

“Okay.” I pull on my coat and bend down to give Acorn a kiss on his head. “You be a good boy and we’ll get you a doughnut.” He thumps his tail on the edge of his bed and licks my cheek.

As I pull the door shut behind me, Blue is already lying on the bed with his arm over his forehead, and I have to force myself to leave him alone and not run back to try to help him feel better. I get it, though. Sometimes it’s easier to rest alone.

Chapter Thirteen

For the fifth time, I push up the sleeve of my jacket so I can check my watch. I glance around the park, expecting to see Blue and Acorn walking toward me.

But I don’t see them anywhere. And it’s now an hour past our usual Saturday morning meeting time at the picnic table near the bridge. Our place.

A weight of worry sinks into my stomach and explodes like a bomb, striking up shards of panic. What if something happened to them? Maybe he got arrested for living in the shed and Acorn has been taken to a pet shelter. Maybe he got run over by a car while he was walking here. Maybe he’s still not feeling well, and he’s all alone, sick, and in pain.

All the maybes and what-ifs come at me like bullets from a machine gun, each one pelting my heart until I can’t take anymore. Closing my book, I stand to leave and embark on my own search party, and that’s when I see them walking toward me in the distance. Every molecule in my body relaxes with instant relief, and it’s so overpowering that I almost need to sit down again to recover.

Acorn has a tennis ball in his mouth, and he bounds to me when he recognizes me, as if he can’t wait to show me his new treasure. Laughing, I take the fluorescent green ball from him.

“Where did you get this?” I ask the dog playfully. “You’re very excited about it!” I toss it a few feet away, and he runs to retrieve it and immediately brings it back to me. We do it three times.

“He’ll do that all day,” Blue warns after kissing me hello.

“I love seeing him so happy with things.”

“I do, too. I get the feeling he didn’t have toys when he was a pup. Sorry I’m late. I stopped to talk to a girl. She’s the one who gave him the ball.”

“Oh. What girl?” I say the words before I realize how nosy and jealous they sound.

He shakes his hair out of his face, and the blue feather earring swings across his cheek.

“Just a girl I talk to sometimes. I usually see her when I play over near the antique store, but I ran into her on the way into the park.”

“And she had a tennis ball with her?”

He laughs. “She brought her dog here, and she had a whole pack of tennis balls. She asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and let the dogs play together.”

“Oh.” I wonder if I’m not the only girl he has a relationship with. There could be a whole tribe of women who also noticed the hot, talented, magnetic homeless musician and his cute dog. Perhaps, like me, they threw caution to the wind to befriend him.

And more.

“Babe…” He leans down to meet my eyes. “Are you jealous?”

I glance over at Acorn playing with his ball. “No….”

He grins cockily at me. “You are.”

“I am not,” I say defensively.

“You’re the only one I’m involved with. I didn’t hang out with her. I came here to be with you. I don’t hook up with other women.”

“I hope not.”

“The ladybugs would get mad at me if I even thought about another chick. You think I want them to swarm on me and eat me?” He pulls me into his arms and kisses me as I laugh.

“That would be a horrible way to die,” I tease.

“Fuck yeah.”

As we leave the park to drive to the bagel place, a woman with her black lab waves at Blue. She’s not at all how I envisioned her. The woman in my mind was a sexy, young girl with dark hair, perfect makeup, tight jeans, and an unbuttoned coat revealing alluring cleavage. In reality, the woman is in her upper thirties and attractive in a very natural, no-makeup-needed way. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail. She’s wearing gray sweatpants, sneakers, and a big, puffy white jacket. A wedding band is clearly visible on her waving hand. When she smiles and waves hesitantly at me, I feel like an idiot for being jealous, insecure, and hallucinatory.

“Do you feel better today?” I ask in the car on the way to the café. When he doesn’t answer me, I glance away from the road to look him over. His hair is messier than usual, as if he forgot to brush it or run his fingers through it this morning. And when he walked up to me earlier in the park, I thought he had dark circles under his eyes.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Last night you said you felt sick. I think you had a migraine?”

He lights up a cigarette and lowers the car window a few inches, saying nothing further.

“Blue? Were you lying to me about not feeling well?”

“Why the hell would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know,” I reply, as a feeling of unease creeps over me. “You’re acting kinda weird. Like either you don’t remember it or you lied about it.”

“I’m acting weird? First, you think I’m fucking other women with tennis balls. Now you’re accusing me of lying to you.”

“I’m not accusing you. I also suggested maybe you don’t remember.”

“Why wouldn’t I remember last night?”

I pull into a parking spot outside the café and put the car in park with a frustrated and equally nervous sigh.

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

“I’m not. I just don’t get where this convo is going.”

Me either.

“Did something happen last night? Were you sick? Did you go somewhere? Was something wrong?” I reach for his hand and entwine our fingers. “Just talk to me.”

“I am talking to you. What the fuck is this interrogation for? I thought we were getting breakfast.”

“We are. I’m just confused.”

“About what?”

I blink at him, trying to sort my thoughts. He somehow turned us in a circle, and now I’m completely confused to the point where I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

“Let’s just forget it.” I force a smile. “I’m starving, and I’m sure you are, too. Let’s just get our bagels and coffee.”