No Tomorrow

The bell hanging on the café door chimes as we enter and I wave to Robbie, who’s worked here for as long as I can remember.

“How are you two doing today?” he asks.

“We’re good. Busy today?” Almost all the tables are occupied this afternoon.

“Yeah. The nice weather brings everyone out. You having the usual?”

“Yes, please.”

He leans over the counter and smiles at Lyric. “Strawberry or orange today?”

Gripping my hand tighter, she leans against my leg and answers him with a shy smile “Storeberry.”

He winks at her. “That’s my favorite, too.”

We step to the side to wait while he makes our lunch, and I bump into someone with his nose in a magazine.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” I say, maneuvering around him to wait near the candy display.

“Piper?”

I pull the candy bar out of Lyric’s hand and put it back before looking up into a vaguely familiar handsome face.

It takes a few seconds for my mouth to move. “Josh. Hi... I didn’t even recognize you.”

How is it possible for someone to change so much? The last time I saw Josh he was wiry thin, his brown hair trimmed in a military cut, and he wore silver-rimmed glasses that always had fingerprints on the lenses. He was sort of a nerd. A cute one, but still a nerd. Not anymore. He must have taken up working out because his arms and shoulders are double the size they used to be. His hair, longer and lighter, hangs just past his eyebrows in a messy but sexy way. The glasses are gone, along with the oversized sweatshirts, jeans, and old sneakers he used to live in. Now, he looks incredibly trendy and put together in black pants, a gray sweater, and black leather loafers.

“It’s been a long time,” he says. The unsure smile I remember is now relaxed and confident.

“Yeah, it has.”

“You look great, Piper.”

I wish I did, but I don’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m still wearing yesterday’s makeup. The only thing different about me is the toddler hanging on to my hand trying to steal candy.

“Thanks...this is my daughter, Lyric.”

A brief flash of shock widens his eyes. “Wow. She’s adorable. How old is she?”

“She’s three.”

“Damn. She has your smile.”

Everyone says that, but I don’t see it. All I see are Blue’s eyes and smile. I quickly shove him out of my mind and focus on Josh.

“So, what are you doing here?” I ask. “Are you visiting your parents?”

He shakes his head. “No. I meant to call you but time kept slipping away. I moved back here last year. Landed a great career, bought a house, went through a bad breakup, spent all my time fixing up said house, and here I am. What about you?”

“Similar. Got a great job, got an apartment, got my heart broken, got pregnant, and spend my time chasing her around.” I glance toward the register when Robbie calls my name. “That’s my order.”

“I gotta run, too. But hey, you want to grab dinner tomorrow night? We can catch up and shoot the shit.”

I haven’t had dinner with a man in years. Everyone said being a single mom wouldn’t prevent me from dating, but it has. Meeting guys is hard. And when I do meet one, either I don’t think they’re good enough to bring into our lives, or they don’t want anything to do with a woman with a child. Or they just want sex. On rare occasion, I’ve met one who’s actually looking for love, which is just as much a hard no for me as sex is. So, guess I can’t put all the blame on the men, because I come with my own set of dysfunctions.

But this is Josh, and he doesn’t come with any strings or expectations.

“Okay. I’d like that.”

If Josh senses my slight hesitation, he doesn’t show it. “Give me your number and I’ll call you tomorrow to get your address.”

We exchange numbers. After we go our separate ways, I head home to immerse myself in work while Lyric plays with her dolls on the floor. She’s placed a toy teacup and saucer in front of Acorn and is chattering on endlessly. Lyric is an incredibly sweet, undemanding child who keeps herself occupied for hours. She doesn’t throw tantrums, and while she sometimes debates with me, she doesn’t argue or defy. Acorn is a wonderful fur-sibling, always patient and attentive with Lyric and her imaginary adventures. Although we had a rocky start, I feel very blessed to have such a happy, content little family.

Content. The word—the thing—that took away the only missing piece in our life. I turned fear, unexpected hurdles, and chaos into contentment. Into my form of contentment. Would Blue have been able to do the same? Would he have found what he wanted and needed in me and in our child if he had stayed and given us a chance?

I’ll probably never know. And sadly, neither will he.

“I can’t believe you’re going out with Josh. We haven’t seen him in forever.”

I glare at her reflection in my bedroom mirror as I put my earrings on. “Don’t get crazy, Dee. It’s only dinner as friends.”

“That’s what it is today, but that doesn’t mean in the future you won’t be getting it on. Maybe now that he’s hot he’s got some alpha vibes.”

“Alpha vibes? Maybe you two should hook up, then.”

“Do you really think I came over here just to babysit? It’s the perfect excuse for me to check him out,” she teases.

The doorbell rings and I face her. “Well, he’s here, so you can. You still have to babysit, though. Do I look okay?”

She stands and looks me up and down. “You look gorgeous as always. Why can’t we be the same size so I can borrow your clothes?”

“Trust me, I’d much rather be the same size as you.” Nobody understands how hard it is for me to find pants that aren’t a mile too long or shoes that actually stay on my feet.

She follows me to the living room and sits on the couch with Lyric while I answer the door.

“Sorry, I’m early,” he says.

“That’s okay, come on in. Someone wants to gawk at you.”

His eyebrow tweaks up and he steps inside. “Holy shit, Ditra!” He laughs when he sees her and she jumps up to hug him. “How the hell have you been? I thought you’d be married to some rich guy by now and living in Paris.”

“I’m working on it. Did you bring your W-2?”

He grins. “I see you haven’t changed.”

“Never. But you on the other hand….” She eyes him like lunch. “If I’d known you’d end up looking like this I would have snagged you in high school myself.”

I wish I could flirt as effortlessly as Ditra does. I’m not good at it and always end up saying something awkward or realize after the fact that I had something stuck in my teeth the entire time.

“Ditra is babysitting for me.” I open the hall closet door and take out my coat. “But she’s admitted she only agreed to so she could check you out.”

“That’s flattering and disturbing. You sure it’s safe to leave your daughter with her?” He smiles playfully at Ditra. “You have any experience taking care of kids?”

“Yes, lots. I’ve been dating them for years.”

“That was a good one,” I say, leaning down to kiss Lyric’s forehead. “Mommy’s going out for a little while and Aunt Dee is going to stay and play with you, okay?”

She nods without looking up from her favorite picture book that’s open on her lap. I’m not sure if I should be grateful or disappointed that she’s not a little bit upset. I never go out at night, so this is new for her. I expected questions or brief pouting, but she’s unconcerned.

“Piper, she’ll be fine. Go out and have fun for once.” She glances over at Josh. “All this girl does is work. I’m surprised you’re getting her out of the house.”

“We’re leaving.” I grab Josh’s arm before Ditra can reveal more embarrassing facts about me. “Don’t eat too much junk and don’t forget to take Acorn out.”

“Yes, Mom.”

I’ve never been to the steakhouse Josh is taking me to, and I’m relieved he made a reservation because there’s a line of people out the door when we pull into the parking lot. I’m not one of those people who love food enough to wait forty minutes or longer for it with a pager in my hand. I’d rather hit a drive-thru and grab a burger and fries and just be done with it.

From the moment we get in the car we fall into easy, relaxed conversation. We’ve run into each other and talked on the phone sporadically since we officially broke up, but that stopped years ago when I met Blue, and I have a hunch that’s the same time Josh got involved, too. Being friends first and foremost has prevented time or distance from affecting us. Josh and I could probably go ten years without seeing each other and still be just as comfortable with each other as we were when we last saw each other. Right now, that’s stability I could use in my life.

“Are you still working for the same company?” Josh asks as we open our menus.

The menu has a brown leather cover and is printed on parchment paper. It feels heavy and foreign in my hands and I long for the plastic laminated menus that my favorite diner has. I feel out of place sitting in this dim room with white tablecloth-covered tables and flickering candles. The piano music drifting from hidden speakers is probably meant to be romantic but I find it annoying, almost mocking.