Only Yours

“He is. I like him a lot. I wouldn’t mind if he and Mom got together. I just hate thinking she loved someone else. You know, before.”

“Because Dad should be her one true love?”

“Yes.”

“Why would knowing who Max is change that?”

“Maybe it doesn’t.” Her mother was allowed to have a past. Everyone did. “You know what—if they’re the same Max, then this could be really interesting, right?”

Nevada sighed. “Sorry. Why didn’t I see it before?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You. There’s something wrong. Is it Simon? Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing happened. That’s the problem.”

“I thought you’d slept together.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sex doesn’t solve problems, it starts them.”

“Which means something happened.”

“I knew he was leaving. I’ve known from the beginning. Despite Mayor Marsha’s request that I convince him to stay, we all know that’s not going to happen.” She cuddled a sleepy Bentley. “But I was okay with that. I haven’t been attracted to someone in a while. I liked being with him and how I felt around him. So the leaving part was simply something I had to deal with.”

“What changed?”

Montana looked at her sister. “I thought he cared about me, too. I thought I was important to him. It turns out I was just a convenience. A way to get laid.”

“Are you sure?”

“That big fundraiser for the hospital? He’s the guest of honor or something like that. He didn’t ask me.”

Nevada didn’t look as shocked as Montana would have liked.

“And you’re sure that’s about you?” her sister asked.

“Who else could it be about?”

“Him. From everything you’ve said, Simon isn’t interested in being the center of attention. So why would he bring you to an event like that, where everyone will notice? Maybe this is more about protecting you than avoiding you.”

“You can’t know that,” Montana snapped, annoyed Nevada wasn’t taking her side.

“You can’t be sure you’re right, either. Not until you ask.” Her sister drew in a breath. “You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong.”

“This time I’m blaming Simon.”

“I don’t think so. Your description of the relationship is all about how you assumed things and you were wrong. What if you’re not wrong? What if instead of being a jerk, he’s trying to be nice? It’s not wrong to want to be with someone. It’s not wrong to think the regular rules of love, or like, or whatever apply.”

“I hate it when you’re rational,” Montana grumbled, even as she thought maybe Nevada was right.

“I’m just saying talk to him. Find out why he didn’t invite you to go with him. If he says it’s because he doesn’t care about you or wouldn’t be caught dead with you in public, then kick him in the balls and leave.”

“He’s been seen in public with me before.”

“Ask.”

“Fine.”

Nevada rubbed the puppies she held. “You know you’re falling in love with him, right? That’s the real problem.”

Words Montana really, really didn’t want to hear. “I’m not in love with him yet.”

Her identical-triplet sister shook her head. “Yes, Montana. You are.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“THIS IS STUPID,” Daniel told Montana as he stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at her. “I don’t want to be here. I want to be out with my friends.”

Montana put down the book she’d been holding and glared right back.

“Wow. Talk about a news flash, because it’s the same thing you said last week and the week before that and the week before that. If you’re really sick of it, why do you keep showing up? What’s the point? Why don’t you forget it? After all, it’s just reading. You don’t need to go to high school and maybe play football. You could drop out and get a job. Oh, wait. You need to read to get a job.”

She reached down to pet Buddy, who’d come over to check on her.

“I’m tired of people not trying and then complaining when things are too hard. I’m tired of people not making an effort. Did it ever occur to you that Buddy here would rather be outside playing with his friends? But he’s not. He’s here to help. Because that’s just the kind of dog he is. And I’m here, too. Do you appreciate that? Do you thank us? Of course not. Because it’s hard. You know what? Sometimes life is hard. You have to learn to shoot a basketball in the hoop before you can be any good at the sport. At first you don’t get it through the basket very often, or even at all. But one day you do and then it gets easier. But only because you put in the work.”

She grabbed the book again. “Here’s the thing, Daniel. I’m not giving up and Buddy’s not giving up and there’s no way you’re giving up, either.”

By the time she wound down, the kid was wide-eyed and looking a little nervous. But he didn’t bolt or call for help, which she took as a good sign.

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m ranting. It’s just, reading is so important. That’s why we have this program. A friend of mine was burned really bad when he was about your age. He spent nearly five years in a hospital after that, working hard to get better. Now he’s a brilliant doctor and he saves people. My nephew was in a car accident and his face got cut up. That doctor was able to help him. But what if he’d given up? What if he’d decided it was all just too hard?”

“I’m not going to be a doctor,” Daniel mumbled.

“How do you know?”

He stared at her for a long time. “You’re really serious about this.”

“Yes, I am. Are you?”

“I guess I am now.”

He took the book from her and walked over to the beanbag chair. Buddy followed and settled next to him.

Montana slipped out of the room, but stayed within earshot.

Things were pretty bad when she was going off on children, she thought with a sigh. All of a sudden her life seemed complicated and she wasn’t sure how to fix that. She needed a plan or a massage or maybe just a cupcake.

Leaning against the wall, she listened to Daniel’s slow reading. As always, he sounded out each word. The pace was painful and had to be discouraging him, she thought. Maybe she should talk to someone about helping him in a different way. Maybe the dog thing wasn’t working. “There…are…fif…fif…teen…shoes…un…under—” Daniel stopped for a second. “There are fifteen shoes under the bed.”

He read clearly and without hesitating.

Montana straightened but told herself not to get too excited. He might have accidentally memorized the sentence. But even as she tried to be calm, she knew that reading happened like that. One minute there was a collection of individual sounds, the next the sounds became words.

“Fifteen shoes for fifteen boys,” he continued. “Mr. Smith knew everyone would be happy when he told him about the shoes.”

Montana stared at the open door, wondering if she was hearing this right.

Daniel kept on reading. Excitement filled his voice as he continued through the book. Then there was a slam and he came running out of the room.

“I can read!” he yelled. “I’m reading this book. Listen.”

With that, he opened it from the beginning and started the story over. He read through without hesitating, Buddy standing anxiously at his side, as if not sure this was a good or bad development.

Montana grinned. “You did it!”

“It’s like you said about shooting baskets. At first I couldn’t do it at all, but now it’s easier.” He ran down the hall to the cartful of books to be put back on the shelves. He shuffled through them and pulled out a story about a lonely bunny.

“Lonely bunny was all alone,” he read, standing in the middle of the hallway. “All lonely bunny wanted was a friend. But when he hopped down to the pond, the ducks there wouldn’t talk to him. They turned their backs on him and walked into the water, leaving him behind.”

Daniel looked up, his eyes glowing. “I can read.”

Montana grinned. “You sure can. You’ve been practicing and getting better, but you couldn’t see it until now.”

The boy crossed to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Thanks for yelling at me. It really helped.”

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

He laughed and released her, then hurried back to the cart. “Help me find more books, please. I want to take them home and practice. I can read to our cat, right? He’ll just fall asleep, but that’s okay. Then I can surprise my mom.”

Before Montana could get to him, he ran off, yelling for Mrs. Elder, announcing to all who could listen that he could read.

Montana crouched down in front of Buddy and rubbed his face.

“You did good,” she told the worried dog. “You’re a good boy. This is why we do it, right? To help a child learn to read, or to make someone in a nursing home smile. You make a difference in people’s lives and so do I. Butthead men may come and go but we will always have the work we do.”

Buddy regarded her with his solemn stare, then licked her nose.

“Thanks,” she told him. “I love you, too.”

“IF YOU CAN’T DO THE JOB correctly, then get assigned to another department,” Simon said with a growl.

The nurse, obviously fresh out of college, flushed. “Dr. Bradley, I—”

“Have an excuse? I’m sure you do. This is a burn ward. There’s no room for excuses. Mr. Carver had his arm burned by a blowtorch. Until you know what that is like, until you’ve lived through that kind of pain, you’re not allowed to offer excuses. Get off this floor and don’t come back. Do I make myself clear?”

The nurse burst into tears and ran away.

He saw the other nurses watching him, then quietly returning to their work. No doubt he would have to endure all kinds of scurrying and whimpering for the next few days. It always happened when he kicked someone out of his department. But dammit, was it too much to expect people to get their jobs right?

He walked toward his office, aware of people ducking into rooms to avoid him. In this corner of the world, he was a god, and a vengeful one. He was required to give his all and expected the same from those around him. Maybe they hadn’t made the identical deal with the devil, but when they were working with him, they were required to act like it.

He walked into his office and closed the door. As he crossed to his desk he admitted to himself that one of the problems was Montana. He missed her. No, it wasn’t just that he missed her. He’d hurt her.

That damned fundraiser. He didn’t want to go and he didn’t want to take her. Not that he wouldn’t enjoy spending the evening with her, but those kinds of events were so uncomfortable, so awkward. He’d never considered subjecting her to that. But she wouldn’t see it that way. She would come up with some other explanation, because his was too twisted for someone like her to imagine.

He didn’t allow himself a lot of regrets. There was no point. He always regretted losing a patient, even if there was nothing he could have done. But he didn’t regret the choices he made, how he lived, that he was alone. All that was part of the bargain he had accepted years ago. But hurting Montana? He shook his head. That he regretted.

Someone knocked on his door. Before Simon could answer, it opened, and Reese Hendrix stuck his head inside.

“Hey, Dr. B,” he said with a grin. “I’m here to see Kalinda. My grandmother brought me and she said I should ask you first. So is it okay?”

“I’m sure she would be happy to see you.” He motioned for the boy to step into the room, then studied him in the overhead light. “Whoever your doctor was, he did great work.”

Reese laughed. “You know you were the doctor.”

Simon patted him on the shoulder. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Cece, Kalinda’s service dog, has been up there for a while. I’ll take her outside for a walk while you two keep each other company.”

Fay was just coming out of her daughter’s room as they approached. For once she didn’t look close to tears. “Hello, Reese. Dr. Bradley, I think she’s doing better. Kalinda wants some ice cream from the cafeteria. I’m going to get it for her. Do you want me get you something, Reese?”

“No, thanks,” he said, ducking around her and entering the room.

“Ice cream is good, isn’t it?” Fay asked. “She hasn’t been hungry in a while.”

“Hunger tells us the body is healing.”

“Her fever is down, too. I’m so relieved.” She smiled and patted him on the arm. “We’re getting through this, thanks to you. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

They would have had someone else, he thought, wondering if that doctor would have cared as much, done as much. In his head he knew whoever had taken care of her would have been just as dedicated, but in his gut, he was less sure. For him, there were no distractions. Only his patients.

At least that’s how it had always been until Montana.

Pushing her from his mind, he entered the hospital room. Reese had already set up the computer game and Kalinda had raised her bed so she could sit up.

“Hey, guys,” he said.