Like Lana, for instance. You know, how she was going to rat me out to Amber if I didn’t get her those invitations to Grandmère’s party?
That was a classic example of supply (I had the supply) versus demand (her demand that I give her what she wanted).
All of which leads me to believe that it’s entirely possible Lana Weinberger isn’t self-actualized at all:
She’s simply really good at economics!
Friday, March 5, English
One more period until the cast list goes up! Oh, I hope Boris gets the part of Gustav! He wants it so badly!
I hope he gets it, too, Tina! I hope everyone gets the parts they want.
What part do YOU want, Mia?
Me???? Nothing!!! I didn’t even submit a photo or a form, remember? I stink at that kind of thing. Acting and stuff, I mean.
Don’t put yourself down like that! Your Ciara imitation has gotten really EXCELLENT. And I thought you were really good as Rosagunde! Don’t you want the part just a little bit?
No, really. I’m a writer, not an actress. Remember??? I want to WRITE the things the people onstage say. Well, not really, because there’s no actual money in playwrighting. But you get what I mean.
Oh. Right. That makes sense.
Well, all I can say is, if I don’t get the part of Rosagunde, we’ll all know it’s because of the N word.
Nude scene???? When did you do a nude scene????
No, you idiot. NEPOTISM. Favoritism shown to a family member.
But that won’t happen because Mia didn’t really audition and doesn’t even WANT a part. So you should be fine, Lilly! Gosh, I hope we all get the parts we want—even if that means NO part!
I’ll second that!
Friday, March 5, Lunch
CAST LIST FOR:
Albert Einstein High School’s
Alternative Spring Musical
Braid!
Chorus….….…….
Amber Cheeseman, Julio Juarez, Margaret Lee, Eric Patel, Lauren Pembroke, Robert Sherman, Ling Su Wong
Rosagunde’s father…..
Kenneth Showalter
Rosagunde’s maid…..
Tina Hakim Baba
King of Italy….…….
Perin Thomas
Alboin….….….….
Boris Pelkowski
Alboin’s mistress….
Lilly Moscovitz
Gustav….….….….
John Paul Reynolds-Abernathy IV
Rosagunde….…….
Amelia Thermopolis Renaldo
FIRST REHEARSAL TODAY, 3:30 P.M.
The Plaza Hotel, Grand Ballroom
I know I’m only supposed to use my cell phone for emergencies. But the minute I saw that cast list, I could tell this was an emergency. A MAJOR one. Because Grandmère has no idea of the MAGNITUDE of what she’s done.
I called her from the jet line.
“Hello, you’ve reached Clarisse, Dowager Princess of Genovia. I’m either shopping or receiving a beauty treatment at the moment, and cannot come to the phone. At the tone, please leave your name and number, and I’ll ring you back shortly.”
Boy, did I let her have it. Or her voice mail, anyway:
“Grandmère! What do you think you’re doing, casting me in your musical? You know I didn’t even want to audition for it, and that I don’t have any acting talent whatsoever!”
Tina, in line beside me, kept nudging me, going, “But your version of ‘Barbie Girl’ was so good!”
“Well, okay, maybe I can sing,” I shouted into the phone, “but Lilly is much better! You better call me back right away so we can get this mess straightened out, because you’re making a HUGE mistake.” I added this last part for Lilly’s sake, who, even though she’s taken the whole thing really well, still looked a little red around the eyes when she joined us in the jet line, after having disappeared into the ladies’ room for a long time once she’d seen the cast list.
“Don’t worry,” I said to Lilly after I hung up. “You’re destined for the part of Rosagunde. Really.”
But Lilly pretended not to care. “Whatever. It’s not like I don’t have enough to do. I don’t know if I’d have had time to memorize all those lines, anyway.”
Which is ridiculous, since Lilly practically has a photographic memory, and almost a hundred percent aural recall (which makes fighting with her super hard because sometimes she drags out stuff you said, like, five years before and have no memory of ever saying. But SHE remembers it. Perfectly).
It’s just so wrong! If anyone deserves the lead in Braid!, it’s her!
“At least by playing Alboin’s mistress,” Lilly said, all bravely, “I only have a few lines—‘Why would you marry her, who doesn’t even want you, when you could have me, who adores you?’, or whatever. So I’ll have plenty of time to work on things that REALLY matter. Like Fat Louie’s Pink Butthole.”
And okay, I feel really bad for Lilly, because she totally deserves the part of Rosagunde, and all.
BUT I STILL HATE THAT NAME!!!
Friday, March 5, later during Lunch
So everyone is freaked out because on the way back to our table from the jet line I stopped by where J.P. was sitting by himself and asked him if he wanted to join us.
I don’t know what the big deal is. I mean, it’s not like I suddenly whipped off my clothes and started doing the hula in front of everyone. I just told a guy we know, who some of us may be spending a lot of time with in the near future, that he can come sit with us, if he wants to.