Party Princess

But, you know, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I only understand about 15 percent of what people are saying to me anyway. Like what Amber Cheeseman said to me a little while ago, over by the caviar bar: “You know, Mia, you’re really fun in person. After all the stuff I’ve read about you, I expected you to be sort of a stick in the mud. But you’re a real party girl after all!”

So, I guess the definition of “party girl” sort of varies, depending on who, you know, is doing the talking.

A second later, Lilly sidled up to me. If I hadn’t known the truth—you know, about her parents—I might have been all, “Lilly! What are you doing, sidling up to people? You don’t sidle.”

But it was obvious from the sidle that she knew the truth about them now—so all I said was, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Lilly was gazing across the room at Boris, who was pumping Joshua Bell’s hand so hard, it was clear he might actually break it. Behind him stood two people who could only be Mr. and Mrs. Pelkowski, both beaming shyly at their son’s hero, while behind THEM, my mom and Mr. Gianini, and Lilly’s parents, were listening intently to something Leonard Nimoy was telling them. “How’s it going?”

“All right,” I said. “Did you get to talk to Benazir?”

“She didn’t show,” Lilly said. “I had a nice chat with Colin Farrell, though.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Lilly said. “He agrees with me that the IRA needed to disarm, but has some pretty radical ideas on how they ought to have gone about it. Oh, and then I had a long talk with Paris Hilton.”

“What did you and Paris Hilton talk about?”

“Mostly the peace process in the Middle East. Though she did say she thought my shoes were hot,” Lilly said.

And we both looked down at Lilly’s black Converse high-tops, the ones she’d drawn silver Stars of David all over, in order to celebrate her Jewish heritage, and which she’d donned especially for tonight’s occasion.

“They are nice,” I admitted. “Listen, Lilly. Thanks. For helping to straighten out things between me and Michael, I mean.”

“What are friends for?” Lilly asked with a shrug. “And don’t worry. I didn’t tell Michael about that kiss you gave J.P.”

“It didn’t mean anything!” I cried.

“Whatever,” Lilly said.

“It didn’t,” I insisted. And then, because it seemed like the right thing to do, I added, “Look. I’m really sorry about your parents.”

“I know,” Lilly said. “I should have—I mean, I’ve known for a while things weren’t going so well for them. Morty’s been moving away from the neopsychoanalytical school of psychiatry ever since he left grad school. He and Ruth have been fighting over this for years, but it all came to a head with a recent article in Psychoanalysis Today, blasting the Jungians for essentialism. Ruth feels Morty’s attitude toward the neopsychoanalysis movement is merely a symptom of a midlife crisis, and that next thing you know, Morty’ll be buying a Ferrari and vacationing in the Hamptons. But Morty insists he’s on the verge of an important breakthrough. Neither of them will back off. So Ruth asked Morty to move out until he gets his priorities back in order. Or publishes. Whichever comes first.”

“Oh,” I said. Because I couldn’t figure out how else to respond. I mean, do couples really split up over things like this? I’ve heard about people getting divorced because one person keeps on losing the cap to the toothpaste.

But to break up over methodological differences?

Oh, well. At least that’s one I never have to worry about happening to Michael and me!

“Still, I shouldn’t have kept it all to myself,” Lilly went on. “I should have told you. At least it might have helped you understand—you know. Why I’ve been acting like such a freak lately.”

“At least,” I said gravely, “you have an excuse. For freakish behavior, and all. What’s mine?”

Lilly laughed, the way I’d meant her to.

“I’m sorry I wouldn’t pull your story,” she said. “You were totally right. It would have been mean to J.P. Not to mention completely insulting to your cat.”

“Yeah,” I said, glancing over to where J.P. was standing, not too far from Doo Pak, who was breathlessly telling something to Elton John. “J.P.’s a really nice guy. And you know…” Well, why not? The niceness thing hadn’t let me down yet. “…I think he really likes you.”

“Shut up,” Lilly said. But not in quite as listless a voice as she’d been speaking in before. “I’ve given up guys. You know that. They don’t bring anything but trouble and heartache. It’s like I was telling David Mamet a minute ago that—”

“Wait,” I said. “David Mamet is here?”

“Yeah,” Lilly said. “He’s buying the faux island of Massachusetts or something. Why?”

“Lilly,” I said excitedly. “Go up to J.P. and tell him you want to introduce him to someone. Then bring him over to David Mamet.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask. Just do it. I swear you won’t regret it. In fact, I bet he asks you out afterward.”

“Do you really think he likes me?” Lilly wanted to know, eyeing J.P. uncertainly.