Passion & Ponies

“No,” Gavin shakes his head.

“Gavin, I want my ring.”

He holds the ring tighter to his chest and continues shaking his head.

Oh, for the love of God.

“Charlotte, Drew shit out that ring about twenty minutes ago. It needs a good bleaching before it comes in contact with your finger,” I tell her.

Gavin gives me a dirty look for spilling his secret and Charlotte’s hand recoils in revulsion.

“Drew, I thought we decided a few years ago that putting jewelry up there was dangerous,” Jenny scolds. “My mother still isn’t happy that I haven’t been able to return that strand of pearls I borrowed.”

Everyone starts talking all at once while Gavin explains about Drew eating the cupcake with the ring inside. Ava has been quiet through this entire debacle and I can’t help but stare at her across the room. She looks sad and I want to go to her, but I don’t want to cause a scene in front of everyone right now. This is a happy moment for my best friend and I’m not going to ruin it by getting into another argument with Ava. I’m sure she just needs to cool off a little and then everything will be fine between us and we can go back to having amazing sex.

Chapter 25 – Whinny Like a Horse

“Jenny, why do you have photos taped all over your wall?” Aunt Liz asks.

She wanders over to the wall in Aunt Jenny’s office at Seduction and Snacks that is covered in pictures she took at Christmas.

“That’s my Facebook wall where I post my pictures. See? I tagged you in the pictures you’re in,” she explains, pointing to a picture with a sticky note attached to it that says Liz. “Here, I’m sharing the pictures, too.”

Aunt Jenny grabs a stack of pictures from her desk and starts passing them out to us.

“Jenny, honey, you know that’s not how Facebook works, right?” Aunt Claire asks, looking up from the paperwork on her desk as Aunt Jenny drops a few photos in front of her.

Fed up with the moping I’ve been doing for the last few days, my mom asked me to come in to the original Seduction and Snacks store and help with paperwork instead of going in to the main headquarters. I wanted to protest, but coming here would be better than going in to the office where I might run into Tyler.

“I don’t understand most of Facebook, but this I totally get. I just need to get some addresses so I can mail the pictures I want to share with other people. I’m going to mail them a friend request, too,” Aunt Jenny smiles excitedly.

Pulling my cell phone out of my purse, I check my messages and can’t help but feel like shit when I don’t see any from Tyler. I thought for sure he’d text me apologizing or asking if we could try anal again… something. I haven’t heard from him in three days. Three long days without arguing with him, listening to him say stupid things, feeling his hands on me, kissing him, being annoyed with him… why hasn’t he contacted me?

“Ava, either call the boy and make up or find someone else and move on. Quit pouting and help us file these invoices,” my mom scolds.

I give her a dirty look as I shove my phone back in my purse. “I wasn’t pouting, especially over Tyler. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She laughs and shakes her head at me. “I’m not as stupid as your Aunt Claire looks.”

Aunt Claire gives her the finger. “Shut up or I’ll cut off your dick and make you eat it.”

“Anyway,” mom continues, “even though the guy irritates me the majority of the time and the sounds I’ve heard coming from your bedroom make my ears bleed, I don’t like seeing you so sad over him.”

If only she knew that he isn’t the only reason I’m sad. With a deep breath, I decide to listen to what Tyler said and try talking to her again. She’s got to understand how miserable I am at Seduction and Snacks.

“Drew likes to make horse noises during sex sometimes. I thought it was weird at first but it’s kind of hot now,” Aunt Jenny muses. “Look, I even shared it on my wall.”

She points to a hand-written piece of paper taped to the wall that says ‘My husband likes to whinny like a horse during sex’.

“Can you guys tell me you like it? No one ever likes what I post,” she complains.

We all ignore her and I walk up next to my mom as she unpacks and stocks a delivery of lube. “So, I’ve been thinking about giving my notice at Seduction and Snacks.”

“Hey, Claire, did you ever get a reply back from Channel 5 news about the feature they wanted to do on us?” she yells over to my aunt, completely ignoring me.

“They’re going to come out next Thursday to film some footage. The interview will be on Friday,” Aunt Claire answers.

I try again, a little louder this time. “I don’t want to work at Seduction and Snacks anymore.”

“Fuck, Jenny! Will you stop poking me in the side?” Aunt Claire complains from the other side of the room.

Aunt Jenny huffs and crosses her arms in front of her. “Why the hell do they have poking on Facebook if no one likes it? I poked a customer the other day and she smacked my hand.”

Taking a cue from Aunt Jenny, I shove my finger into my mom’s side until she yelps. “What the f**k, Ava? Don’t tell me I need to explain Facebook to you, too. Jenny, for God’s sake, you’ve given my child the dumb. Stop f**king poking people.”

My mom and Aunt Claire share a laugh and I reach the end of my rope.