Pretty Reckless

“Why didn’t you tell me about Via?”

“Didn’t know.”

He is still standing all the way across the room, and I don’t know if I’m grateful for the space or want him to drown me in a suffocating hug that would steal my breath and give me life all at the same time.

“You expect me to believe that?”

“What you do with this information is up to you. I had no idea Via was coming back. Your mom mentioned she was trying to find her a few times, but honestly, she didn’t appear too optimistic, either.”

“Well, thanks for deflowering me, then ignoring me while you figured the situation out.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, then looks away at my door, blinking. He lets out a ragged breath, moving his fingers through his hair.

“Look, it’s all pretty fucked up. Emotions are running high. I wanted to take a step back and figure shit out.”

“And did you?” The dark chuckle I’m producing actually tastes bitter in my throat.

“Not by a long shot.”

I break, tears falling across my cheeks. I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my pale pink cardigan. Penn makes his way to me, jerking me up to my feet and wrapping his arms around me. I drown in him. In his touch. In his body. In his soul.

“Marx, Penn. I thought you were using me.”

“Whoa.” He pretends to pull away for a fraction of a second. “Who said that I’m not?”

I nuzzle my nose into the hole in his shirt where his heart is and laugh.

He takes a step back so he can cup my cheeks. Our eyes meet, and my heart accelerates.

“I’m not even sure how I feel about her being here. It’s like being born with a limp and given a second pair of legs. Supposed to feel good but it’s an actual shitshow. I already learned how to live without, you know?”

I know.

I want so badly to tell him that she is just pretending to be good and nice.

That she threatened to take everything away from me earlier today. The words burn on my tongue, begging to come out. A few months ago, I’d have spilled it all out without batting an eyelash. But I’ve seen all the damage it has caused Penn to be alone. I can’t do this to him. I can’t ruin his chance at reconnecting with his sister, no matter how much I despise her.

“I know.” I pull him back into our hug because I miss him already. I miss him even when he’s here. There’s not enough of him to satisfy me, and maybe I’m dragging my feet about college because life post-Penn doesn’t even register right now. “Give it time. It’ll get better.”

And just like that, muscle memory kicks in. My lips find his, and we are kissing. Deep and long and passionate. He groans into my mouth and takes my face in his rough hands, backing us both up to the bed. My knees hit the bed frame, and we both dive onto the mattress, breathless chuckles escaping our lungs. He is straddling me, kissing my neck and chin.

“Fuck. I missed your lips.”

“I missed your ass.” I squeeze his ass, biting his lower lip.

“You’re a solid hobby, Skull Eyes. Just remember that it’s nothing more, and the minute you get attached—that’s around the time I’ll probably cut you off.”

“See if I care, baby. You’re just a phase. Maybe my future surgeon husband will fix up your broken leg if you ever make it to the NFL.”

He chuckles, kissing his way to my chest and unbuttoning my cardigan.

“Maybe he’ll chop it off altogether when I taunt him about how much fun I had inside his wife.”

“More fun than you had with Adriana?” I pull away, inspecting his eyes.

“Lima or my classmate?”

The one your sister said you’re in love with.

“The latter. As if Adriana Lima would give your ass the time of day.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Are you avoiding the question?”

He drags his teeth down my neck and sinks them into my collarbone. I know he is piercing my skin, marking me for everyone to see and know. The sheer relief washing over me suggests that one of the reasons I felt like I was holding a seven-ton weight of angst on my shoulders the past few days was because I couldn’t be with Penn. And while I’m his hobby, he is turning out to be my…everything. My solace. My good part. My favorite thing about life.

“Adriana is not a factor here. She’s a permanent fixture in my life that has nothing to do with you. You…” He fists the collar of my cardigan and jerks me to his face. “You’re the best temporary treat I’ve had in a while.”

“Don’t believe you for a second.” My lips tremble around the words. I have to convince myself that it’s not true.

He dips his head down, smirking at me.

“It would be a pleasure to prove to you just how little you mean to me.”

Our lips are about to lock again when there’s a frantic knock on my door. Penn peels himself off my body, releasing a frustrated groan. Even though he doesn’t give a damn if we get caught, he knows I do. He runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it back, and shoves a hand into his faded Levi’s to rearrange his hard-on.

“Yes?” I ask, a little too chirpily, considering the mood I left the garage in. I clear my throat, readjusting my tone. “What?”