Princess in Love

'Look, Kenny,' I said. I don't even know how I got my tongue to work, I swear. I felt like a robot somebody had switched into the Off position. 'This really isn't a good time. Maybe we could talk later—'

'Mia,' Kenny said. He had a funny look on his face. 'I know. I saw him.'

I blinked.

And then I remembered. Michael, and the B minus hug.

'Oh, Kenny,' I said. 'Really. That was just ... I mean, there's nothing—'

'You don't have to worry,' Kenny said. And then I realized why his face looked so funny. It was because he was wearing an expression on it that I had never seen before. At least, not on Kenny. The expression was resignation. 'I won't tell Lilly.'

Lilly! Oh, God! The last person in the world I wanted to know how I felt about Michael!

Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe there was still a chance I could . . .

But no. No, I couldn't lie to him. For once in my life, I could not summon up a lie.

'Kenny,' I said. 'I am so, so sorry.'

I didn't realize until I said it that it was too late to run for the Girls' Room: I had already started crying. My voice broke, and when I put my hands to my face, they came away wet.

Great. I was crying, and in front of the entire student body of Albert Einstein High School.

'Kenny,' I said, sniffling. 'I honestly meant to tell you. And I really do like you. I.just don't. . . love you.'

Kenny's face was very white, but he didn't start crying -not like me. Thank God. In fact, he even managed to smile a little in that weird, resigned way as he said, shaking his head, 'Wow. I can't believe it. I mean, when it first hit me, I was like no way. Not Mia. No way would she do that to her best friend. But. . . well, I guess it explains a lot. About, um, us.'

I couldn't look him in the face any longer. I felt like a worm. Worse than a worm, because worms are very environmentally helpful. I felt like . . . like . . .

Like a fruit fly.

'I guess I've suspected for a long time that there was someone else,' Kenny went on. 'You never . . . well, you never exactly seemed to return my ardour when we ... you know.'

I knew. Kissed. Nice of him to bring it up, though, here in the gym, in front of everyone.

'I knew you just weren't saying anything because you didn't want to hurt my feelings,' Kenny said. 'That's the kind of girl you are. And that's why I put off asking you to the dance because I figured you'd just say no. On account of you, you know, liking someone else. I mean, I know you'd never lie to me, Mia. You're the most honest person I've ever met.'

HA! Was he joking? Me? Honest? Obviously, he did not have the slightest clue about my nostrils.

'That's how I know that this must be tearing you up inside. I just think you better tell Lilly soon,' Kenny said sombrely. 'I started to suspect, you know, at the restaurant. And if I figured it out, other people will too. And you wouldn't want her to hear it from somebody else.'

I had reached up to try to wipe some of my tears away with my sleeve, but paused with my hand only halfway there, and stared at him. 'Restaurant? What restaurant?'

'You know,' Kenny said, looking uncomfortable. 'That day we all went to Chinatown. You and he sat next to each other. You kept laughing . . . you looked pretty chummy.'

Chinatown? But Michael hadn't gone with us that day to Chinatown . . .

'And you know,' Kenny said, 'I'm not the only one who's noticed him leaving you those roses all week, either.'

I blinked. I could barely see him through my tears. 'W-what?'

'You know.' He looked around, then dropped his voice to a whisper. 'Boris. Leaving you all those roses. I mean, come on, Mia. If you two want to carry on behind Lilly's back, that's one thing, but—'

The roaring in my ears that had been there just after I'd read Michael's poem came back.

BORIS. BORIS PELKOWSKI. My boyfriend just broke up with me because he thinks I am having an affair with BORIS PELKOWSKI.

BORIS PELKOWSKI, who always has food in his braces.

BORIS PELKOWSKI, who wears his sweaters tucked inside his trousers.

BORIS PELKOWSKI, my best friend's boyfriend.

Oh, God. My life is so over.

I tried to tell him. You know - the truth. That Boris isn't my secret love, but my Secret Snowflake.

But Tina darted forward, grabbed me by the arm and went, 'Sorry, Kenny, Mia has to go now.' Then she dragged me into the Girls' Room.

'I have to tell him,' I kept saying over and over like a crazy person, as I tried to break free of her grip. 'I have to tell him. I have to tell him the truth.'

'No, you do not,' Tina said, pushing me past the toilet stalls. 'You two are broken up. Who cares why? You're through, and that's all that matters.'

I blinked at my tear-stained reflection in the mirror above the sinks. I looked awful. Never in your life have you seen anyone who looked less like a princess than I did then. Just looking at myself made me break out into a fresh wave of tears.

Of course Tina says she's sure Michael wasn't trying to make fun of me. Of course she says that he must have figured out that

I was the one who was sending him those cards, and was trying to let me know that he feels the same way about me.

Only of course I can't believe that. Because if that were true - if that were true - why did he let me go? Why didn't he try to stop me?

Tina has pointed out that he did try. But my shrieking when I read his poem, and then running in tears from the room, might not have seemed to him like a very encouraging sign. In fact, it might have actually looked to him like I was displeased by what I'd seen. Furthermore, Tina pointed out, even if Michael had tried to go after me, there'd have been Kenny cornering me on my way out. It had certainly looked as if the two of us were Having A Moment - which we most certainly were - and didn't wish