Wednesday, April 30, Bio.
Mia - Did you see the latest issue of The Atom?
I know, Shameeka, I just got my copy. I wish Lilly would stop mentioning me in her letters to the editor. I mean, as
the only freshman on the newspaper staff, I have to pay my dues. Lesley Cho, the editor-in-chief, got her start on the cafeteria beat. I am TOTALLY FINE with covering the lunch menu every week.
Well, I think Lilly just feels if your goal really is to be a writer someday, you aren't going to get there writing about Buffalo Bites!
That is not true. I have made some very important innovations in the lunch column. For instance, it was my idea to capitalize the T in Individual Pizza.
Lilly is only looking out for your best interests.
Whatever. Melanie Greenbaum is on the girls' basketball team. She could fully slam-dunk me if she wanted to. I
don't think Lilly antagonizing her is in my best interests.
So...
So what?
So has he asked you yet?????
Has who asked me what?
HAS MICHAEL ASKED YOU TO THE PROM???????
Oh. No.
Mia, the prom is in less than TWO WEEKS! Jeff asked me a MONTH ago. How are you going to get your dress in
time if you don't find out soon whether or not you're going? Plus you have to make an appointment to get your hair and nails done, and get the boutonniere, and he has to rent the limo and his tux and make dinner reservations. This
is not pizza at Bowlmore Lanes, you know. It's dinner and dancing at Maxim's! It's serious!
I'm sure Michael is going to ask me soon. He has a lot on his mind, what with the new band and college in the autumn and all.
Well, you better light a fire under him. Because you don't want to end up having him ask at the last minute. Because then if you say yes it'll be like you were waiting around for him to ask.
Hello, Michael and I are going out. It's not like I'm going to go with somebody else. As if anybody else would ask me.
I mean, I'm not YOU, Shameeka. I don't have all these senior guys lined up at my locker, just waiting for a chance to ask me out. Not that I would. Go out with another guy, I mean. If one asked. Because I love Michael with every fibre
of my being.
Well, I hope he asks you soon, because I don't want to be the only freshman girl at the prom! Who will I hang with in the Ladies' Room?
Don't worry. I'll be there. Oops. What was that about ice-worms?
They differ from earthworms in that they . . .
The Ice-Worm
by Mia Thermopolis*
Contrary to popular opinion, glaciers do not just support life above and below them, but also within them.
Recently, scientists discovered the existence of worms that live inside ice - even mounds of methane ice on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. These creatures, called ice-worms, are one to two inches long and live off the chemosynthetic bacteria that grows on the methane, or are otherwise living symbiotically with them . . .
*Mr Sturgess, the notes Shameeka and I were passing were fully class-related. I swear. But whatever.
Only 70 words. 180 to go.
HOW CAN I THINK ABOUT ICE-WORMS WHEN MY BOYFRIEND HASN'T ASKED ME
TO THE PROM???????
Wednesday, April 30, Health and Safety
M - Why do you look like you just swallowed a sock?
Because, Lilly, the Bio sub caught Shameeka and me passing notes and assigned us both a 250-word paper on ice-worms.
So? You should look at it as an artistic challenge. Besides, 250 words is nothing for an ace journalist like yourself. You should be able to knock that out in half an hour.
Lilly, has your brother mentioned the prom to you?
Um. What?
Prom. You know. Senior Prom. The one they are holding at Maxim's a week from this Saturday. Has he mentioned
to you whether or not he's, um, planning on asking anyone?
ANYONE? Just who do you mean by ANYONE? His DOG?
You know what I mean.
Michael does not discuss things like the prom with me, Mia. Mainly what Michael discusses with me is whether or not it is my turn to empty the dishwasher, set the table, or take the wadded-up tissues down the
hall to the incinerator chute after Mom and Dad's Adult Survivors of Childhood Alien Abduction group therapy meetings.
Oh. Well, I was just wondering.
Don't worry, Mia. If Michael's going to ask anyone to the prom, it will be you.
What do you mean IF Michael's going to ask anyone to the prom?
I meant WHEN. OK? What is WITH you?
Nothing. Only that Michael is my one true love and he's graduating and so if we don't go to the prom this year I'll
never get to go. Unless we go when I'M a senior, but that won't be for THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!
And besides, by that time Michael might be in graduate school. He might have a beard or something!!!!! You can't
go to the prom with someone who has a BEARD.
/ can see that you're very emotional about this. Are you premenstrual or something?
NO!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE PROM WITH MY BOYFRIEND BEFORE HE GRADUATES AND/OR GROWS EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF FACIAL HAIR!!!!!!!!! IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT??????
Whoa. You fully need to take a Midol. And rather than asking me whether or not I think my brother is going
to ask you to the prom, I think you should ask YOURSELF something, and that's why a completely outdated, pagan dance ritual is so important to you.
It's just important to me, OK????
Is this because of that time your mom wouldn't buy you the Prom Queen Glamour Gown for your Barbie,
and you had to make your own out of toilet paper?