Princess in Pink

But no. And now it's too late. Even if Grandmere fesses up, it's highly unlikely the hotel, restaurant, and porters' unions are going to back down NOW.

Well, I guess it's just another case of people failing to pay heed to the voice of youth. And now they're just going to have to suffer.

Too bad.

Thursday, May 8, Homeroom

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!HH!!!! THEY'VE CANCELLED THE PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Atom

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of Albert Einstein High School

Special Supplementary Edition

PROM CANCELLED!!!!!!!!

By Lesley Cho

Due to the city-wide hotel, restaurant, and porters' unions strike, this year's Senior Prom has been cancelled. The restaurant Maxim's notified school officials that due to the strike, they would be closing, effective immediately. The

Prom Committee's $4,000 deposit was returned. This year's senior class is left high and dry with no alternative but to have the prom in the school cafeteria, something Prom Committee members considered, but then dismissed.

The prom is special,' said Prom Committee chairperson, Lana Weinberger. 'It's no ordinary school dance. We can't

just have it in the cafeteria, as if it were another Cultural Diversity or Non-Denominational Winter Dance. We'd

rather have no prom than a prom where we're stepping on old French fries or whatever.'

Not everyone in the school agrees with the Prom Committee's controversial decision, however. Said senior Judith Gershner, when she heard of Lana Weinberger's remarks, 'We've been looking forward to our prom since we were ninth graders. To have it taken away now, over something as trivial as stray French fries, seems a bit petty. I would rather have French fries stuck to my heel at the prom than no prom at all.'

The Prom Committee remains adamant, however, that it will have the prom off school grounds, or not at all.

'There's nothing special about coming to school dressed up,' ninth grader Lana Weinberger commented. 'If we're

going to get dressed up to the nines, we want to be going somewhere other than where we have gone every morning

all year long.'

The cause of the strike, which was summarized in this week's edition of The Atom, still appears to have been an

incident which occurred at the restaurant Les Hautes Manger, where AEHS freshman and Genovian Princess Mia Thermopolis dined last week with her grandmother. Says Lilly Moscovitz, former friend of the princess and

chairperson of the Students Against the Wrongful Dismissal of Jangbu Pinasa Association, 'It's all Mia's fault. Or at

least her grandmother's. All we want is Jangbu's job back, and a formal apology from Clarisse Renaldo. Oh, and vacation and sick pay, as well as health benefits, for busboys city-wide.'

Princess Mia was, at the time of going to press, unavailable for comment, being, according to her mother,

Helen Thermopolis, in the shower.

We here at The Atom will attempt to keep all of you informed as strike negotiations progress.

Oh, my God. THANKS, MOM. THANKS FOR TELLING ME THE SCHOOL PAPER CALLED WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER.

You should SEE the dirty looks I got as I made my way to my locker this morning. Thank God I have an armed bodyguard,

or I might have been in some serious trouble. Some of those girls on the Varsity Lacrosse team - the ones who smoke and do chin-ups in the third floor girls' room -made EXTREMELY threatening hand gestures towards me as I got out of the limo. Someone had even written on Joe the stone lion (in chalk, but still) GENOVIA SUCKS.

GENOVIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!! The reputation of my principality is being besmirched, and all because of a stupid dance being cancelled!

Oh, all right. I know the prom is not stupid. I mean, I, of all people, KNOW that the prom is not stupid. It is a vitally

important part of the high-school experience, as Molly Ringwald can all too readily attest!

And yet, because of me, it is being ripped from the hearts and yearbooks of the members of this year's AEHS graduating class.

I've GOT to do something. Only what????

WHAT????????????

Thursday, May 8, Algebra

You will never believe what Lana just said to me. I completely kid you not.

LANA: (swivelling around in her chair and glaring at me) You did this on purpose, didn't you? Caused this strike and made the prom get cancelled.

ME: What? No. What are you talking about?

LANA: Just admit it. You did it because I wouldn't let your boyfriend's stupid band stink up the place. Admit it.

ME: No! That's not it at all. It wasn't me, anyway. It was my grandmother.

LANA: Whatever. All you Genovians are the same.

Then she whipped back around, before I could say another word.

All you Genovians? Um, excuse me, but I'm the only Genovian Lana has ever even met.

She has some nerve . . .

Thursday, May 8, Bio

Mia, are you all right?

Yes, Shameeka. It was just an apple core.

Still. That was way cool how Lars hit that guy. Your bodyguard has some sharp reflexes there.

Yeah, well. That's why he got the job. So how come you're speaking to me? Don't you hate me, too? I mean, after

all, you and Jeff were going to go to the prom.

Well, it's not YOUR fault it got cancelled. Besides, I wouldn't have had that much fan at it anyway. I mean, not

if the only other girl from my class was going to be LANA!!!!!!!!! By the way, did you hear about Tina?

No. What?

Yesterday, when Boris was waiting at his locker for Lilly —you know, he put that Happy Ad in the paper, asking her