Providence

“I’ve had to rip out two microphones and nearly freeze to death in the pouring rain to get you back before. Driving to your apartment and knocking on your door isn’t the most extreme measure I’ve taken.”



Jared’s expression was pained. “I noticed your car out front. I’m sorry I had to leave without an explanation. I didn’t have a choice.”



“It was better than the alternative,” I said, my grin fading as I considered the possibilities.



Jared touched the side of my face, and then left me to walk toward the stairs. I sat up to protest, but Jared paused. “I’l be right back,” he assured me.



Relaxing against the bed, I listened to his footsteps jog down the steps, silence when he reached the couch, and in the next moment climb the stairs again.



He sat beside me and held a smal red box in the palm of his hand. “Don’t get too excited. It’s nothing major.”



I smiled and took the box from his hands, pul ing on the smal silver loop on the top. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows in surprise.



“It’s to make up for tonight. So? What do you think?”



Hanging from the lid was a shiny silver key.



“To the loft,” he explained. “Next time something comes up, you won’t have to wait outside in the cold.”



“When did you have time to do this?” I asked, stil processing the shiny object spinning around from a thin red ribbon.



Jared shrugged. “I had it made a few days ago. I’ve been meaning to give it to you, but you haven’t needed it until now.”



“You’re giving me a key?” My eyebrows lifted in disbelief.



Jared nodded and then his brows pul ed together. “I promised you I would never leave you. I meant it. If something like this happens again, come here. Wait for me.” He touched his hand gently to my cheek. “I’l earn your trust back.”



“I trust you,” I said, mimicking his expression.



Jared leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. “And I trust you. Nice work in your room today.”



I cringed. “You heard that, did you?”



Jared chuckled. “Al of it. I think it’s going to take me by surprise every time I hear you say my name in perfunctory conversation. It’s a good thing Ryan….”



“It’s a good thing Ryan what?” I asked, leaning over to bring his eyes to mine.



“It’s a good thing I have patience,” Jared said, looking everywhere but my eyes.



“You have a lot of patience, but that’s not what you were going to say.”



Jared’s eyes bounced from me to the floor to other things in the room, uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed. “It has to do with what I told you we would discuss later.”



“Claire’s training has to do with Ryan?”



Jared sighed. “You’re not going to wait now, are you?”



I shook my head slowly, not sure what to expect. The two names seemed to be on different sides of the universe.



Jared leaned his head down, looking at me from under his eyebrows. “The night at the pub, when you first met Claire, Ryan put his hands on me.” I nodded and Jared continued, “When she grabbed his hand, she felt something. She felt his pain.” Jared patiently waited for me to comprehend.



“Ryan is Claire’s Taleh?” I whispered, knowing she could hear me, anyway. I couldn’t believe it, and at the same time I felt excited, like I’d just heard a juicy bit of gossip. “But, when we were mugged...,” Claire was talented, even among her kind. She wouldn’t have let Ryan be hurt in that way.



“That’s why the situation went farther than I normal y al ow. Claire had them targeted. It would have just taken a second to take them out, but when Ryan jumped in, Claire couldn’t get a clear shot. She couldn’t risk it. That’s when I decided to intercede.” Jared’s eyes began to cloud over. The worst was coming.



“Why didn’t you want to tel me?”



Jared leaned over and kissed me. It was urgent and deep, the way he kissed me before I left him to speak with my mother; as if he were kissing me goodbye forever.



He reluctantly pul ed away to look at me. “It was for purely selfish reasons. I wanted to wait so you and I could…so you could get to know me better.”



“You lost me.”



“Remember when I was explaining the Taleh, you mentioned how convenient it was that Gabe protected Jack, and I protected you?”



I nodded. “Yes, you said that angel groups tend to stay in families or those that are connected somehow.” Now that he’d brought it to my attention, it made more sense. “Claire is Ryan’s protector because he’s a friend?”



Jared sighed and shifted nervously beside me. “Claire being Ryan’s protector means he is supposed to be in your life. Permanently.”



I smiled and shook my head. “So what are you saying? That Ryan’s going to be family somehow?” Jared waited and my eyes widened in disbelief.



“You think I’m supposed to marry him? Oh, c’mon! That’s ridiculous!”



“That would be the only explanation,” Jared said, his expression grave.



“You’re not serious. There’s no way for you to know that. It could be any number of things.”



“I thought that if you didn’t get to know me first, then you’d want to be with him. He is supposed to be your husband one of these days. I would understand why, armed with that knowledge, you might feel differently. And he’s a good friend to you. And he’s…persistent,” Jared said, his face twisting into an annoyed expression.



I held his face in my hands and looked directly into his eyes. “Quit it. I’m in love with you, Jared. There is no me without you.”



He watched me for a moment. “I’m sorry I kept it from you.”



“You don’t have a single thing to worry about. I promise,” I said.



Jared switched off the lamp and crawled over to his side, pul ing me to him.



“I missed you,” I said, settling into his arms. “It’s going to be hard to go back to the way it was when my hand heals. I could probably start staying at Andrews this weekend.”



“You don’t have to leave,” Jared whispered in the dim light.



I buried my head into his chest. I had never wanted anything more, but Ryan’s words about moving too fast came to the forefront of my mind.



“I would love that…someday,” I said, hoping to preserve his feelings.



“Someday,” he repeated, sighing. “I understand. It’s too fast.”



“Maybe just a little,” I smiled, kissing his chest.



The next morning, I woke up in Jared’s arms. He was awake, patiently holding me against him. My smile faded when I realized it would be our last morning together for awhile.



“What is it?” Jared asked, sensing my disappointment.



I sucked in a deep, disheartening breath. “It’s Friday,” I breathed. “I’m going back to Andrews tonight.”



“You have a key. You can use it whenever you’d like.”



“That’s right,” I said, looking up at him with a smile. “That’s comforting.”



Jared brushed my bangs from my face. “I’m going to miss seeing you like this in the morning…especial y in my shirt. It would have had a whole new significance had I known that one day you would be lying in my arms with it on. An interesting choice, I might add. That’s my favorite one.”



“I heard,” I smiled.



“Take it with you. I want you to have it.”



“But it’s your favorite shirt!” I argued, pul ing away to look at him.



“My mornings won’t be quite as disappointing from now on if I know you’re waking up in that shirt,” he countered.



“Good point. I’m taking it. But it’s only on loan.”



“Oh, there’s no doubt in my mind that one of these days it wil be a permanent fixture in my closet again. You can’t live in Andrews forever.”



I bit my lip and pressed my cheek against his bare chest. It seemed a little sil y, lying here with him, knowing we both would rather I just stay. But I would never hear the end of it from my friends, and my mother would be an entirely different set of problems.



“I could stay here on the weekends,” I said.



“You wil ?” he asked, his eyes brightening.



“If that’s okay, I don’t want to impose.”



Jared kissed me until I could feel a tingling in my toes. Just as I needed to take a breath, he pul ed away. “I would have everything you own here by the time you finished your classes today if you’d let me. You staying here on weekends is absolutely okay.”



A smile spanned the width of my face and I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he said things like that, it was hard for me to remember why I couldn’t just give in to what he wanted—to what I wanted. I immediately felt better knowing that I had a few more days with him.



“You’re going to be late. I’l make coffee,” he said, jogging downstairs.



I hurried through my shower and Jared handed me a pink travel mug as I put my coat on. I raised an eyebrow at the color and then looked back at him.



“It’s Claire’s,” he shrugged.



“Um, I thought I would take my car today. Do you mind picking me up, later?”



Jared didn’t hide his disappointment. “Sure. Just give me a cal when you’re ready.”



I leaned up on my toes to kiss him. “Okay. I’l see you later.”



The professor began lecture just as I slid into my seat. Kim leaned over to whisper in my ear.



“Beth and I are going for coffee after class. You coming?”



“Sure. I’l drive,” I offered.



I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with Kim and Beth lately. An afternoon at the café would give us time to catch up. At least I would get caught up on their lives; my news included almost getting kidnapped and tortured, and my boyfriend nearly beating the man to death who had tried.



The three of us huddled at the table of the coffee shop, waiting to thaw. The temperature had dropped significantly after lunch, and the wind was brutal. I was glad that I would be lying on a beach somewhere in just over a week.



I sipped my coffee as Beth chattered about Chad. Things between them were progressing, and she mentioned she wasn’t homesick for the first time since she’d come to Brown. She was even considering getting an apartment in the summer instead of returning to Oklahoma.



I tried to concentrate on the conversation, but I found myself focusing on the new information Jared had forced out of Dawson. I wanted to know what it was that Jared was keeping from me; it couldn’t be good news.



“Nigh. Nigh! Where are you? You look like you’re a mil ion miles away,” Kim said. She and Beth were both staring at me with matching expressions.



“Ugh, I’m sorry. I just have a lot going on,” I said, blinking.



Beth’s cel phone hummed. By her tone I knew that it was Chad. Apparently he was out and about, and she invited him to join us.



“I hope that’s okay,” Beth said to us after disconnecting the line.



Kim shrugged. “Fine with me.”



“Ryan is with him,” Beth added, eyeing me.



I made sure my face was smooth. I hadn’t seen Ryan since Jared had told me that Ryan and I were meant to be together. I wasn’t sure how to act around him with that knowledge.



Ten minutes later, the door chimed as Chad and Ryan strol ed through it. They were both in gym clothes, sweaty and tired.



Ryan had his white hat pul ed down over his eyes and didn’t speak when he sat across from me at the table. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.



“What have you two been up to?” Beth asked, standing up to sit on Chad’s lap.



“We just finished a basketbal game. We lost,” Chad said in an embittered tone.



“They cheated. Repeatedly,” Ryan chuckled, only his smile visible.



“What? You can’t handle prison rules?” Kim elbowed him, making him sway for a moment.



Ryan pul ed his hat up and over to the side, his eyes final y in view. “I can handle prison rules, it’s the cheating when there is supposed to be rules that bothers me. I lost twenty bucks!”



“Oh no!” Beth said, laughing. “Did you lose money, Baby?” Chad pursed his lips and nodded, stil brooding. “Aw!” she said, rubbing his back.



We sat at the table, discussing the game. Our laughter saturated the room, causing the other patrons to stare. After a while, Ryan leaned over and pul ed my chair closer to him, the legs grating against the floor. He stretched his arm around the back of my chair and smiled, flashing the deep dimple in his cheek.



Ryan’s destiny to be my future husband popped into my head, and a strange ache overwhelmed me. Ryan’s future was forever changed the second Jared sat on that bench. I would never take that moment back, but I cared about Ryan. I wanted him to be happy, and that was impossible if I stayed in the picture. One of these days I would have to remove myself completely from his life, and because of that, either Claire or Jared would be separated from their family.



Ryan gripped my shoulder and pul ed me to his side. “Hey. What’s wrong?”



“Hmmm?” I said, distracted.



“She’s been like that the whole time she’s been here,” Kim complained.



Ryan hugged me to him again and I turned, throwing my arms around him. He tensed, obviously not expecting my sudden display of affection. After his initial shock wore off, he rested his chin on my shoulder and enveloped me in his arms.



He puffed a short laugh. “What’s going on, Nigh?” he whispered into my neck.



I shook my head. I couldn’t tel him, and even if I did, I didn’t want him to know.



“We’re, uh…we’re going to take off,” Chad said.