Quintessentially Q

The nightmare roared back to full colour. All that blood, so bright with a coppery tang, almost sweet.

No. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t strong enough. Somehow the evilness of my father would make me do the one thing I’d run from my entire life. I lived my life with rules, shackles. I wasn’t prepared to let a delicate, fragile little bird taunt me to untwine myself and chase her.

I’d win.

And I’d lose when I killed her.

On dirait une fille, putain, mercer! You sound like a f**king girl, Mercer.

I flinched as Tess scampered across the bedspread and draped herself over my na**d back. Her soft fingertips traced my tattoo of fluttering sparrows and barbwire. I clenched my jaw as her touch whispered lower and lower, down my abs, heading to my cock.

I meant to stop her. I really did, but she grasped me hard through my boxer-briefs; I groaned. One touch was all I needed to make me achingly hard and drowning in dark desire.

Tess coaxed me to rigidness, all the while nibbling on my ear. “If you’re frightened of hurting me, Q…you won’t. I trust you not to go too far.”

I bit out, “I don’t trust you yet. I don’t want to break you.” I don’t trust myself to stop.

She stopped stroking and pulled back. Her warmth left me with a shiver. “I gave you my word to fight you. I’ve slept in your bed for four nights, and the most you’ve done is peck my cheek good night. You haven’t used your belt or chains or any of those toys I glimpsed in that mirrored chest of yours.”

Her eyes flittered to the end of the bed where the chest lay. Locked. No way did I want her going in there.

I groaned, gripping my head with stabbing fingers. What monster wanted to capture the blood of the woman he’d given his life to? What animal wanted to ensnare her screams to repeat over and over again like a perfect chorus?

I was right to keep myself so aloof, so obsessed with work. By staying overworked, I had no time for other needs.

I hadn’t been to work in four days. A new emotion kept me at home, never far from Tess’s side. The terror that she’d wake up one morning and realize she made a huge mistake kept me anxious and snappy. The thought of coming home from work to find her gone—well, both the man and the beast hated the very idea. But it was a mistake to think I could give up my way of life and not suffer consequences.

I had to find a way to cure myself. I had to stop this before Tess successfully goaded me into doing something I regretted.

Tess grumbled something and swung her legs off the bed. Her ass bore purple shadows from my belt. How many lashes did I give her that night? I counted thirty, but that was after the ones I’d already struck. My heart squeezed at the thought of how easy it was to lose myself around her, but a millisecond later it was overshadowed by the overwhelming urge to create more raw, angry bruises on her perfect skin. I wanted her over my knee. I wanted to have those perfect crystal tears splashing my thigh as I hit her.

Goddammit, she said I scarred her soul…would she let me scar her skin?

Tess stood before me. Her toned legs splayed, hands on her hips. So proud and regal in her own body. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. The beast inside prowled and hurled itself against the cage, trying so hard to get at her. To rip her. Ravage her.

I chained the monster back up, pulling myself together.

Tess folded to her knees between my legs and pressed her lips against my boxer-clad cock.

I jolted, gasping. The heat of her breath, the delicateness of her lips, drove me insane.

“If you won’t tell me your concerns, I’ll just taunt you until you can’t help it. You have me. I’m your slave while we’re in the bedroom, and I want to be used. I crave it. Why don’t you get that yet?”

She wanted to taunt me? Fine. I lashed out and grabbed a thick handful of messy blonde curls. Leaning down to her eye level, I stared right into the depths of her being, allowing her to see the turmoil in mine. The need, the anguish, the fine line of hatred and love for her for forcing me to accept this part of myself.

Tess sucked in a breath, shrinking beneath the weight of my stare. I shook her, loving the small blaze of pain in her eyes. Shit, would I ever become repulsed by hurting her rather than turned on?

“I understand you want me to show you what my fantasies are, but you have to give me time, esclave.” My heart raced at the word. For four days, I’d refused to call her anything but Tess. She wasn’t my slave. She wasn’t my possession. Never had been and never would be. I hated how even though I knew she was there on her own accord, I still wanted ultimate ownership. I wanted her chained and completely dependent on me. I wanted to feed her and bathe her. I wanted to be the very reason she stayed alive.

Fuck, I should get a pet.

Tess isn’t a pet, you bastard. She’s your equal. She’s Tess. Elle est à toi. She’s yours.

Her eyelids slammed closed and she swayed into me, her lips parting. “Say it again, maître. Remind me of my place.”

Shit, this f**king woman. She wasn’t curing me, she made it worse. How could I expect to avoid my nightmares when she forced me down this path?

Something unlocked inside, some darkness billowed, blocking out the light I’d been fighting so hard to keep bright.

Tess noticed. Her body tensed, her fingers digging into my thighs.

I bent closer, glowering. My heart beat thickly as black excitement unfurled. “You’re disobeying me, esclave. I think I may have to punish you.” The word punish set my muscles on edge and I gripped her harder.

She shuddered under my touch, eyes flaring wide with a sexy glint. The same glint that told me she was about to rebel and cause me to snap. Shit, I didn’t have the strength to stop myself again. My energy was depleted. The gates unlocked, and the monster was in full control.

Tess stroked my thigh once. “You aren’t allowed to punish me. I’ll run. I’ll leave you.”

My hands clenched into fists, digging into her flesh. Her threat was too close to my true fears, and I shuddered with rage. Even though I knew she did it deliberately it still riled me up. “You wouldn’t f**king dare. You returned to me. This isn’t a vacation, esclave. You don’t get to come and go as you please. You belong to me and I can do what I want to you.”

Her mouth parted, and she sucked in a shaky breath, but her eyes blazed with grey fire. “Don’t you dare touch me; I’ll ruin you.”

Ah shit, I was a goner. I was completely and mind-bendingly falling for this woman.

I swallowed back the thick taste of lust and murmured, “Too f**king late, esclave. I’m ruined beyond redemption.” In the last moment of gentleness, I pressed my forehead against hers and breathed deep. “I’m lost.” Then the gentleness left, abandoning me to the hard-edged need to hurt.

In one swoop, I hauled her upright. Her hands flew to mine clutched in her silky curls. Her gaze smouldered to smoke, and her perfect pink lips trembled.

“You really shouldn’t push me. I asked for time.” I shook her hard, furious for making me lose control. Control was my one weakness—take that away from me and the consequences were disastrous. “I’m done fighting. You happy now?”

Her chest rose sharply as she sucked in another unsteady breath. A flicker of indecision filled her eyes before being swallowed by heavy, heated lust. “Yes. Extremely. There’s the man I returned to. The one I want to f**k me.”

My c**k lurched forward in the prison of boxer-briefs, aching with the need to plunge deep inside her. I pulled her forward, licking my lips. I’d take her hard. I didn’t want docile; I wanted savage.

Her eyes fluttered closed as I crushed my mouth against hers.

She sighed as I licked her lower lip with an angry tongue. Her body yielded into my touch, surrendering her false fight, showing me just how much she needed this—this violence.

I pulled away, releasing her hair to capture her wrist. The same tattooed wrist with barcode bars and fluttering sparrow. A mockery of her slave status and a talisman of her freedom. “You should know by now I don’t do things you want me to do, esclave. Your permission isn’t what gets me off.”

She frowned as I dragged her across the thick white carpet and forced her to kneel in front of the mirrored chest. Breathing hard, I stalked to where I left my trousers on the floor last night and withdrew the key.

“Open it.” I passed the key to her, my hand steady, but heart beating wildly.

She glared, hesitating for a moment. Her body language stiffened at the command. I thought she’d disobey again, but she nodded and slipped the key obediently into the lock.

My back turned rigid, every muscle throbbing on high alert. Tess thought I had a soul, a heart. What I stored in the chest would prove all her stupid sweet fantasies were false.

There was no doubt I wanted Tess. There was no question she made me feel something I’d never felt before…but there was also no doubt that it wasn’t enough. I was too damaged from too young an age to be able to change.

Tess took a deep breath, cracking open the lid. I expected a squeal, a gasp…something to indicate awareness of what she tempted, but deathly silence filled the room.