Quintessentially Q

Get off her! It wasn’t fair. The poor girl. The poor innocent girl. Ferocity blew the drugs clear for one precious moment and I screamed, “Get the f**k off her! Get off her, you bastard.”

Pain.

Intense, radiating pain.

I retched, activating aches in my chest. The agony swirled in my head, threatening to knock me out.

White Rodent stood above me with a pair of pliers. His eyes were grim, jaw set. “See what you made me do. Learn!”

I looked down, already back in the pit of hallucinations.

My middle finger was snapped in two. Bone protruded from skin and blood ran freely. Worms appeared from the wound, wiggling in the air.

The throb grew worse and worse. I wanted to tear my hand off just to be free of it.

“Nooooooooo!”

“Yes. Fuck yes.” Leather Jackal panted, rutting harder into his victim. She squeezed her eyes and endured.

I cried. It was sick, so sick. I opened my mouth to tell Leather Jackal to stop. To leave her be, but a lasso of panic noosed me.

Retaliation means pain.

My tongue lodged in my mouth and my eyes flew to White Rodent. He waved the pliers in my face. “Are you learning yet?”

Against everything, yes, I was learning. My body had been reconditioned. My mind enslaved to chemicals.

Everything I thought I knew had been reprogramed. Pain was hideous. Pain was atrocious. I wanted to run away from pain and avoid it forever. Never again would I crave the fine line of passion and sweet, sweet agony.

Never again would I want Q to touch me.

Never again would I find myself in the mess I’d become. I was utterly, truly lost.

Leather Jackal groaned, pumping harder, shaking the bed as he came. Blonde Angel half-sighed, half-sobbed as he pulled out of her.

The small relief that he’d finished with her was ruined when his gaze fell on me. “Give me five minutes, puta. Then I’m all yours.”

My lips pulled back to snarl, but the cold bite of metal encircled my pinky. White Rodent murmured, “You sure you want to say whatever you’re about to say?”

I squeezed my eyes. If I said yes, I might force them into killing me. I could make them give me my freedom.

Say it, Tess. Be done with this.

“She probably doesn’t, but I’ll say it for her.”

That voice.

The echoing softness, the fine edge of violence.

I knew that voice. From another life. A happier life.

My heart picked up its sluggish beat, so downtrodden by weariness it barely functioned. It took all my remaining energy to twist my head to the doorway.

The magnificent black raven angel from my hallucinations was back. His three-metre wingspan filled the room, sparking with ebony fire and murderous rage. A flock of crows fluttered around him, turning the melting room into a whirlpool of feathers.

White Rodent spun and faced this new vision. I sighed and wished with all my heart he was real. I wanted him to be real so I could finally relax and be safe again.

“How the f**k did you get in here?” White Rodent growled, pacing toward the figment of my imagination, wielding the pliers. Crows squawked and attacked from above, raining little black bombs with beady eyes and yellow beaks, but it didn’t stop him.

Ryan the Ogre appeared from behind my apparition, launching himself at the angel. But Q spun too fast and a loud bang filled the room.

Ryan’s skull exploded in a fine mist as his body crumbled to the floor. White Rodent backed up, throwing the pliers down as more angels spilled into the room.

Black-winged Q soared toward me, feathers rustling as his eyes drifted over me in horror. I wanted to tell my dream to take me away. To save me. I didn’t care if leaving meant death. Not if I could go with him.

Take me. I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to go with you.

“Franco. Attrape ce fils de pute.” Grab that son of bitch.

I blinked as a man appeared around Q’s black wings. His muscular chest glittered with gold fur and emerald eyes blazed like twin moons.

“It would be my f**king pleasure,” Gold Man muttered.

“Wait. Don’t,” White Rodent said, pressing hard against the weeping mould-riddled wall.

Gold Man punched him square in the jaw, grumbling in satisfaction as he slammed to the ground.

My eyes darted from Gold Man to Angel Q as he sucked in a ragged breath. “Tess…” His tortured voice caressed my body. I shuddered.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He reached out to touch me, but stopped himself. His face twisted as his shoulders bristled with self-loathing. “This is all my f**king fault.”

Another man appeared beside him. Glowing with a sapphire light, his old-world beauty made me smile. “Q. Not here. Stay together, man. It’s not over yet.”

Q stood upright and shoved him back, screaming in rage. “Do you see? Do you see what they’ve f**king done?”

The Sapphire Man grabbed Q’s face in his large hands, forcing him to look him in the eye. “Yes, I see. But you have work to do, remember?”

For a moment it looked as if Angel Q would tear the man apart, but eventually he gritted his jaw and jerked away. “You’re right.”

He spun to face me. The agony in his eyes shut down until nothing existed but grim determination. His large hand landed on my wrist, fumbling with the rope.

I sighed, watching him, wanting to stroke his feathers, feel the softness of his wings.

Once my wrists were free, he ran a thumb over my tattooed skin, his face spasming with such awful regret. “I’ll make it my life’s work to keep you safe, Tess. Tu es à moi.” You’re mine. “And I’ll never let you down again.”

Releasing me, he turned to my ankles.

“He came for you, Tessie. That’s nice. He did more than I ever did.” Brax stood over me, smiling softly.

I shook my head. “He isn’t real. I’ve finally cracked, Brax. I’m not returning after this. I’m leaving. Dying. I don’t care as long I don’t have to live this life anymore.”

He shook his head. “You’ll survive. You always do.”

The vision shattered as Q leaned over me, pressing his forehead against mine. I breathed in his deep scent, drowning in musk and something heady—a dirtier smell of sweat and blood and toil.

Q’s face twisted with heartbreaking grief. “I’m going to murder the men who did this to you. I’m going to make them f**king scream.” His anger buffeted me, sending my heart rate spiralling.

“He’s going to hit you. And you deserve it for what you’ve done.” My mother appeared.

Q touched my cheek softly, but I cried out. Expecting more pain. Expecting more torture.

He jerked back, eyes glassing with remorse. “Someone get me a f**king blanket!”

His face came over mine again, pale eyes searching mine. “Tess. I’m going to pick you up. I swear on my mother’s grave I will not hurt you. You have nothing to fear. I promise.”

Nothing to fear.

Nothing to fear.

“How can he say that when he whipped you, Tessie? He drew blood from you.” Brax scowled at Q, crossing his arms.

“I asked for that, though. I wanted it. I begged for it.” Even as I said the words, I couldn’t remember why I would ask for such agony.

“Did you, Tessie? I’m not so sure…”

Time shot forward and another block of awareness was stolen.

Stabbing, intense pain from my finger consumed me. Someone wrapped a piece of bedding around it, but already blood stained the cotton.

Swallowing hard, I noticed something warm and scratchy covered me, chasing away the icy chill I’d lived with for weeks. Hard muscle cradled me; Q murmured, “I’m going to take you home and fix this, esclave.”

Esclave.

The word shocked me from my drug-stupor; I blinked. Q carried me toward the door, his ebony wings shimmered with every colour as he strode beneath dangling lightbulbs.

His jaw was covered in a thicker shadow, lines etched his mouth, and his eyes were aged and sleep-weary. The strain wasn’t in keeping with the perfection of my illusion.

Why did my angel look so…so human?

My eyes distorted, flickering with another vision. An image of Q in a dirty rumpled suit, carrying me as if I was a long ago misplaced possession. Something he had no intention of ever letting go again. Anger permeated around him while sadness wept from every pore.

My heart picked up its sad little rhythm.

Q found me. He’s here.

“Don’t be so stupid.” My mother sneered. “He wasn’t looking for you in the first place. No one wants you, Tess. Stop making up such fanciful stories.”

My lungs faltered in the quest to breathe as pain ricocheted around me.

Why would he come? After all, I was an enemy now. I hurt women. I had blood beneath my fingernails and a kill staining my soul.

“Are you r—real?” I whispered, wincing at the ache in my lungs.

Q faltered, pale eyes connecting with mine. For a never-ending moment he just stared until his mouth tightened and he murmured, “I’m real. It’s over, Tess. You’re safe.”

I tried to smile but centipedes chewed my lips off. I shuddered, slurring, “That’s n—nice. See, Brax. He did come.”