Quintessentially Q

The thought of what these places offered in broken, subservient women enticed the blackness and made me tremble with sick wanting, but I was also stronger than I’d ever been.

Tess taught me that I may need to hurt others, but her strength restrained me.

Every day, I worried that I would give in, that I’d snap and become my father. I could finally fit in. Belong with these soulless bastards and no longer fight against a constant war.

But I had more faith in myself now. Thanks to Tess. She proved there must be something good inside me to deserve such a creature as her.

She saved me in so many ways, and I didn’t even realize until now.

My chest swelled with pride. “I’m stronger than you will ever be. I have a woman who sees the light inside me. And I’ll never stop trying to be the best I can be for her.”

“It’s not enough. Sooner or later you’ll crack. You’ll kill her and become like us.”

I trembled with rage. “The day I give in is the day I kill myself.” I meant it as a threat, but it resonated with an oath. I swore on my soul to end my life if I ever became like these men.

The man’s eyes narrowed and he pressed harder against the conveyor belt, looking for a way to run. “Just let me go and I’ll give you anything you want.”

“There is nothing I want from you.” I ran the blade through my fingertips, adding, “Apart from your heart.”

He gulped. He knew what was coming and finally concluded it wouldn’t be quick.

The moment the glow of horror filled his eyes, I launched myself at him. Punching him in the jaw, I threw him onto the conveyor belt. Old strapping for fish crates littered the floor. Grabbing a few, I made short work of tying his dazed body to the belt.

He jerked, testing the strength of my knots. “Wait. I’ll give you anything!”

Screams filled the warehouse from the other end of darkness. Franco had begun work on the ra**st and his cries soothed my soul. He deserved everything Franco gave and more.

I grabbed the collar of the guy’s shirt and with a quick slice, slit it in two with my blade.

“Please. I’ll give you anything. You name it. You want to save women? Fine, I’ll give you all the names and contacts of the men we sold to over the year.”

I didn’t rise to the bait. I knew Franco’s men would’ve already raided the offices and found every last shred of information in this godforsaken place.

Everything I needed for future rescue missions was already mine.

I listened detachedly to his rambling begging as I shrugged off my bloodstained blazer and undid my cufflinks.

Each move was predatory and unrushed, dragging out the last few minutes of his life. I rolled up my sleeves, taking care not to wipe too much blood from my hands onto the black shirt.

Another scream rang around the walls and a merciless laugh followed quick behind. My heart beat thicker, slower. My mind sharpened until all I saw was the man in front of me.

I didn’t think about Tess.

I didn’t think about repercussions of such brutal retaliation.

All I thought about was blood.

I dropped my eyes and let myself be free. I smashed through my walls, unlocked the cage, and snarled like the rabid animal I was. The false me ceased to exist. The real me was ready.

The ringleader trembled, his skin shocked to white. “I was wrong when I said you’re like us. You’re not.”

I laughed, picking up the blade. I dragged the tip down his sternum, circling around the thing Tess asked me to retrieve for her. “No, I’m not like you.” I pressed on the blade and the man screamed as I punctured his ribcage inch by inch. There were easier ways. I could slice his diaphragm and reach upward for his heart. But I wanted the hard labour of breaking his ribs as I worked toward my goal.

He wasn’t going to die an easy death. I wanted him to be alive the entire time I butchered him.

“Je suis pire.” I’m worse.

Chapter 14

Leave your mark, scar my skin, I will bow down to you, my king.

“Well, I hope you’re happy. You’re probably not going to die,” my mother whispered in my ear.

I ceased to know what the hell was happening. I lived in constant pain from my finger and the chilly ache in my lungs. I didn’t know where I was any more, or if I’d dreamt Angel Q or not.

“Don’t listen to her, Tessie. I’m so glad they found you in time.” Brax glared at my mother. He never liked her. I didn’t blame him. She wasn’t very likeable.

Time spaced out again and broken images came in little puzzle pieces.

Warm arms—1920s man carrying me.

Men—hordes of them. All sitting in some fancy place with their hands bloodied in their laps.

Engines and loss of gravity as a jet carried me far, far away from nightmares.

“Stay with me, esclave. We’re almost home.” Q stood before me, his black shirt glistening with red dampness. His hands were stained and sprays of crimson camouflaged his face.

He looked like a monster. A man who killed for me.

My heart raced with fear. Would he kill me, too? After everything I did, I deserved the same fate.

“You did it?” Did what…what am I asking?

Q held up something demonic. Something riddled with fat and sinew, dripping horribly in his palm. “I took his heart. I took everything from him, Tess.” He bowed at my feet, placing the grisly muscle on the floor. “For you. May it give you the strength to come back to me.”

Whirs of helicopter blades shattered my little daydream and for the first time in ages, I thought of sex. I thought about Q spanking and f**king me in the helicopter. I thought about the way he captured my wrists and made me so vulnerable.

No slow, sensual burn started in my belly. No need to have Q’s touch rendered me lust-filled. I only felt empty.

Time merged into one big jumbled hallucination where helicopter blades tore me to shreds and plane engines gobbled me up to spit me out, burned to a char and on fire.

A jolt woke me and I moaned with the terrible pain in my hand. Someone, please cut it off. I couldn’t stand the excruciation anymore.

“Get her inside,” someone said. “I’ve already called the doctor.”

I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t escape the prison my brain had become.

“Learn, girl. Retaliation equals pain. Next time, I won’t be so kind.” White Man roared inside my mind. The memory of being hurt took centre place in my stupor, replaying, hitting me around the head with the hard-learned lessons over and over until I became afraid of my inner thoughts. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even think. What if I spoke out of turn? The poor blonde would be killed and I’d be hurt.

Slowly, the fog turned into tremors and pinpricks of agony. The itch from before crept back under my skin and I moaned. I couldn’t go through withdrawal. It would be used against me. They’d withhold the drug until I did whatever they wanted. And I would do whatever they wanted, as I was weak. So f**king weak.

“She’s convulsing. Hurry!”

I bounced and jiggled in some weird sort of transport. The bruises screamed and my lungs sloshed with liquid. I coughed hard, tearing my throat up with phlegm. I didn’t know what was happening, but my body didn’t like it.

My skin temperature developed schizophrenia. One second chilling me to deep Antarctica, the next turning me into a bubbling volcano.

The bugs were back; their little feelers and legs tickling my insides, making me wish I could scratch my brain out.

“No!” I thrashed and someone slammed to a halt, tightening their grip on me.

“Tess. Stay with me. Please. Help is here. You’ll be fine soon.” Q’s voice cut through the beetle-laden fog and I latched on to it.

“Put her down. I can’t work if she’s in your arms.”

I felt sick and nauseous one second, then ravenous and ready to fight the next. The drugs faded, leaving me in a turmoil. My system couldn’t find an equilibrium no matter how hard it tried.

“Hold her down. She’s doing more damage by moving.”

Something pinned my shoulders and I lashed out. “Don’t touch me. Not again. Please not again.” Tears erupted from my eyes and I sobbed, remembering the snaps of broken bones and blood of other girls beneath my nails. “No! Please. I won’t do it anymore. I won’t hurt any more hummingbirds. I won’t. Kill me. I want to die.” I coughed and coughed and coughed, unable to breathe past the thick liquid in my lungs. My fingers bent and I scratched my face, trying to peel the skin back to get at the gnawing bugs in my brain.

A band of pressure landed on my chest as someone pressed me onto something soft. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tess. Forgive me.” Q’s tortured voice murmured in my ear as he caught my hand and I felt a needle puncture my skin.

Him.

He was just the same as them. Keeping me drugged. Keeping me dependent.

I drifted into dreamland cursing him to the depths of hell.

Chapter 15

You crawled into the darkness, set my monster free, so scream, bleed, call out to me, but never say stop, never flee…

Suzette wrung her hands as the doctor administered the anaesthetic.