I gripped my temples as the memory came quick, the pain piercing my skull almost too strong to endure…

*****

“You killed him, Alik!” I shouted, covered in my best friend’s blood as Rodion turned cold in my arms.

Alik held out the knife he’d stabbed him with, his eyes were wild and a crazy smile spread on his lips.

“No, Luka, I didn’t kill him.” I watched as Alik drove the knife into his own stomach and he dropped to the floor. “You did! You argued. You fought, and you pulled out a knife and killed him.”

“What… what the fuck are you talking about? You’re insane!” I shouted, but Alik was already screaming for help.

“He’s gone,” Alik said, looking to me and gripped his stomach. His blood poured out as he pointed to Rodion’s body. “The Volkov heir’s no more. I did just what my papa commanded. Now, one day, I’ll be the Pakhan. Rodion was too weak to lead, too nice. Me, I was born to be ruthless, to kill anyone in my way.”

My blood turned to ice when I heard he’d killed Rodion for power. His father had ordered him dead so his son would be next in line.

Jesus Christ!

“And me?” I whispered, numbly. “Why the fuck are you setting me up?”

Footsteps approached and our fathers’ voices called our names. Alik shouted back, flopping back onto the ground, but not before he smiled at me and said, “Because I needed someone to blame and I want what you have.”

I shook my head in confusion. “What—”

“She was always meant for me, not you. I need her. She’s the only one who calms me down. She’s the only one who stops the voices in my head that tell me to hurt people. And her being obsessed with you is getting in the way of making her mine.”

I stumbled back as what he said registered in my mind.

Kisa.

He killed Rodion for power and was framing me for… Kisa? Before I knew it, I was on top of him, ignoring the blood pouring from his stomach, punching at his face.

“You won’t hurt her, you sick fuck! You’ll leave her alone! You’re insane! You should be locked up!”

Alik smiled at me as I beat his face, like he wasn’t feeling the blows. I stilled in shock and he slipped the dagger in my hand.

A man came bursting through the trees, and seeing his son dead on the ground, he dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch as he tried to bring him back to life, then scream into the air when the CPR didn’t work.

Another man came through next.

The men saw me on Alik, my fists coated with blood, my mouth tight with anger. I got to my feet and stumbled back until my ass hit the ground. My legs wouldn’t move as I took in the scene. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t speak to explain… my best friend was dead.

One of the men rushed forward and ran to Alik on the ground, then I noticed the men’s eyes slam to me, then to my side.

Turning my head slowly, I glanced down at what they were all staring at and saw the bloodied dagger under my splayed hand.

I opened my mouth to try and explain what happened, but just as I did, Rodion’s papa got to his feet, blood covering his coat, the move pulling my attention.

“Luka, what have you done?”

*****

“Luka! Luka!” Kisa’s panicked voice cut into the night. “Breathe, breathe… You’re not breathing. Try and calm down.”

I focused on Kisa’s face, on her hand stroking back my hair. Finally able to move, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine.

“What is it, lyubov moya? What did you remember?” Kisa asked, and I could hear the nerves in her voice. “You’re scaring me.”

“D-Durov,” I stuttered out. “Durov killed Rodion, stabbed himself, then pinned all the blame on me.”

Chapter Eighteen

RAZE

Kisa’s hand began shaking as she held mine, and I saw her face pale, the reality of that fact hitting home just as the dam of my blocked-out past broke and memories came flooding out, blindsiding me.

“Rodion,” I whispered, feeling like I’d just taken a punch to the kidney. “Rodion was my best friend, wasn’t he? We were like brothers. Yes? Is that—”

I watched tears fall from Kisa’s eyes. My eyes grew wider as I pictured Rodion’s features: light-brown hair, blue eyes. I dreamed of him sometimes. He was the boy in my dreams. His features had always been blurred, and I was unable to ever make out his identity. But now I could picture him with crystal clarity. I knew him. I—

Shit…

I looked at Kisa again. She was slumped over, her back shaking with the force of her tears. And then in my mind, I saw her and Rodion together: at church, at the beach, round a table, by their father’s side…