My lungs grew tight.

Getting kidnapped and then mating with Grayson meant I hadn’t had the mental space to think about Conah too much, but now, being here in his domain, made my heart ache with loss.

He wasn’t dead.

But he was gone.

Changed with the loss of his soulmate.

Kiara…My eyes misted, and I swiped at them angrily. I was here to inspire the cadets, to be a leader, and demons had no respect for tears.

Keon landed behind me and joined me to stare at the building. “I’ve not been here before,” he said. “It’s larger than I imagined.”

I looked up at him, so blue against the red brick. He’d pulled his hair back in a braid that fell down his back, lying against his spine obediently. Delphine, his tattoo, was absent. Probably back at the Dominus quarters with Cyril.

“Are you nervous?”

He made a sound of derision. “I don’t get nervous. Nerves are a hindrance to what I do. Killing requires a steady hand and conviction.”

“Good to know. Allow me to lead the way.”

He followed as I entered the building, making my way toward the high-tech training room Conah used to train his cadets. We’d need the scenario-building facility of the room once Keon and I had shown them how to use the tails.

We’d sent the chest ahead an hour ago by drake and carriage, so they should have it by now.

My stomach bubbled.

Excitement.

Yes. I was excited to do this, to be this person. To lead. It felt liberating. If only the circumstances weren’t so fucking dire.

I stepped into the training room to find the operations desk already occupied. Master Luena, the hard-ass war games coordinator for the older cadets, glared at me from across the training room, and then her gaze tripped over my shoulder, and her shoulders stiffened.

She stood and inclined her head. “Blade, we are honored.”

Keon slipped past me. “Good. You received the chest?”

“We did.” She looked at the wall behind her, where the chest was stationed. “You’ll be training the cadets in its use.” She didn’t even look at me.

“The Dominus will. I am merely here to assist if necessary.”

Who knew Keon could be so formal and proper. The Blade had many hats, it seemed. It made me wonder how he’d become who he was. Was he a natural born killer, or had Lilith molded him into one?

“With all due respect, Blade, we would prefer it if our cadets were trained by a professional,” Luena said.

Keon hissed, and Luena flinched. “The Dominus has been chosen by Lilith herself to train the cadets. Lilith’s cadets. Do you question my queen’s judgment?”

Luena shook her head. “Of course not. I would never do such a thing.”

“Get out,” Keon said. “Get out and bring me the cadets. Now.”

Luena strode stiffly from the room, but not before throwing a lethal look my way. My heart sank. The last thing I needed was animosity in the ranks. It’s not what Conah would have wanted, and it would make working here that much harder. The cadets didn’t know me, they knew Luena, they respected her, and if I wanted to get them on my side, I needed her on my side.

“You shouldn’t have yelled at her like that.”

“She was being impudent. She was belittling you.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. But she’s right. I’m no trainer. I haven’t done this job before. The cadets don’t know me.”

“They don’t need to know you to respect you. They don’t know me either, yet she was happy for me to train them.”

“You’re the queen’s Blade. You’re notorious.”

“And you are a Dominus. You are…” He paused and looked at the ground. “You are good.”

He said the word as if it was an alien concept.

“You are kind.” His frown deepened as if he was struggling to unravel an inner conflict.

My cheeks grew warm. “Um, thank you. But being good and kind doesn’t help win wars. In fact, I have it on good authority that being kind and compassionate is actually detrimental to the cadets here.”

Keon frowned, his face taking on an expression that looked almost pained. “Kindness makes warriors weak because it reminds them that there is more to existence than the sharp edge of a blade or the cold kiss of shadows. Compassion makes killing without question harder. It makes you look into your victim’s eyes and wonder who will miss them. That is why cadets are distanced from these traits. It doesn’t alter the fact that you have them, or that they make you worthy.”

He wasn’t making sense, not completely, but I surmised he knew that, because he shook his head as if to clear it and then glared at me like I’d done something offensive.

“Lilith chose you. That is all that matters.”

The door opened, and cadets began to file in. I caught sight of Master Luena in the corridor.

“I’ll be right back.”

I left Keon barking orders to the cadets and slipped out to catch Luena before she could make a run for it.

“A word, please.”

She stopped and sighed. “Yes?” She faced me with a polite smile. “What can I do for you, Dominus.”

“Look, Luena, I didn’t ask for this job. I’m not a trainer, but I do want these cadets to survive once the war starts, which we know it will. I want what’s best for them, just like you do. I want them to be ready, and I need you to help me make sure of that.”

Her expression softened. “They’re good cadets. Eager, disciplined, skilled.”

“I’m sure they are, and they deserve the best training team. I believe that between the four of us, we can get them ready for what’s to come.”

“The four of us?”

“Keon, Azazel, me, and you.” I smiled and tipped my head to the side. “Luena, I need you on board. I can’t do this without you.”

For a moment, I thought she’d tell me where to shove it, and maybe the woman in her wanted to, but the tutor, the teacher in her, won.

She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Very well.”

It was going to take several sessions to get the cadets up to speed on using the tails. A handful had picked it up quickly, but the rest were struggling.

Needless to say, I was glad to be home.

I’d shucked off my Protectorate gear, showered, and then tugged on my sweats and fluffy socks, ready for a night of making mince pies with my bestie. She’d picked up marshmallows too, so I’d be adding those to my hot chocolate later. Had Azazel and Mal ever had marshmallows?

Mal maybe, but Azazel, probably not. I couldn’t wait to get him to try them. I couldn’t wait for them both to get home so I could hug them.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and I’d be spending that with Aunt Lara. My mood dipped because Christmas Eve was one step closer to her ascension date. It was our goodbye.

No. Aunt Lara wouldn’t want tears and sad faces. She deserved smiles and laughter. The ascension would be her chance at peace; I had no right to bring her mood down. Tomorrow would be a good day, and so would the next because we were having Christmas dinner at Grayson’s. All I wanted to do was switch off my brain and enjoy the family time.

Uriel crossed my mind, and my heart sank. Vi was still working on the spell to summon him. Apparently, she needed to prep a room with symbols and get hold of certain ingredients, and with the Masterton ball taking place tomorrow night, she wasn’t going to be able to do much until Boxing Day.

I opened the door, eager to get down to the kitchen and join Cora in baking, and froze, staring at the thing lying in front of my door.

It was a foot long with a long nose and tiny ears. A fucking rat.

There was a dead rat on my doorstep.

“For me?” Cyril slid out of my room and did a circle around the dead rodent. “You shouldn’t have.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I didn’t.”

Cyril raised his head and flicked out his tongue. “You didn’t?”

“Nope. And you didn’t, so who the hell did?”

“For goodness’ sake!” Iza came bustling down the corridor. “Not again.” She scooped up the rat. “That darned daemon and his offerings.”

Daemon? Keon? “Iza, what the hell is going on?”

The rat swung by its tail, dangling from Iza’s fingertips, and Cyril swayed with it, mesmerized.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to get rid of this one before you saw,” she said.

“This one? You mean there’ve been more?”

She pursed her lips. “The blue daemon seems to have taken a shine to you. It’s customary for some breeds of daemon to leave offerings. Part of a courtship ritual.”

Whoa, back the fuck up. “Courtship?”

Her huge puppy-dog eyes lit up. “Oh yes, daemon are very specific about their intentions when it comes to courtship. They leave gifts of meat for their intended and the intended will gift them food in return, accepting their courtship.”

“That makes no sense. This is Keon we’re talking about. Why would he want to court me. Lilith wants him to kill me…eventually.”

“It’s an instinct. I’m not even sure he can control it fully; it’s all pheromones, Fee.” She huffed. “I’m sorry you had to see it.”

“Wait, was that why he was licking my bed?”

Her mouth turned down as she considered it. “Possibly.”

He’d told me he needed to track me. “How do I stop it?”

“Just don’t feed him. Do not offer him food, and do not cook for him.”

“Fuck.”

Iza winced. “Oh, dear.”

“What do I do, Iza? You have to help me.”

Iza frowned at Cyril. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, just take the darn thing.” She dropped the rat and returned her attention to me. “Speak to him candidly. He’s the queen’s Blade. I’m sure the last thing he wishes to do is court a potential victim.”