Reaper's Fire

“Fucking asshole.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” she replied. “But good riddance, you know? He finally showed up at the hospital late that night. After they’d taken her. I got to hold her, and a photographer shot some pictures, but her own father couldn’t be bothered. That’s when I decided I couldn’t be bothered with him any more, either. Threw his rings right at him in the hospital room.”

Tears ran down her face openly now. I reached for her, pulling her into my arms. She resisted at first, stiffening against me, but fuck that.

“He’s a piece of shit,” I told her, rubbing her back as she relaxed into my hold. “Tricia deserved better and so do you. I’m so sorry, baby. So incredibly sorry.”

“I wanted her so much,” Tinker whispered, starting to sob. Usually crying women freak me out, but this was different. This wasn’t some bitch whining about her boyfriend. I’d never had a kid—never even considered it—but I’d seen my brothers with their children. Losing one would destroy them.

“I kicked him out,” Tinker continued. “He moved in with his folks or rented something. I don’t know. Didn’t care. Then I hired a lawyer to take care of the divorce, but things were complicated because we owned a house and a business, and the finances were always impossible to follow. His family has money, but I didn’t know how much and never understood how it works. Anyway, he still wants me to give him another chance.”

No fucking way.

“You tell him to fuck off?” I asked, bristling.

She pulled back, giving me a small, hard smile. “I’ve made sure the situation is clear.”

“I’ll bet you did,” I replied, reaching over to catch a piece of hair glued to her cheek with her tears, tucking it back behind her ear. “You want me to kill him for you?”

She gave a short burst of laughter, shaking her head, obviously under the impression that I was joking.

I wasn’t. Not even a little.

“No, Carrie and Margarita have claimed that honor,” she said. “I really miss her. Tricia, I mean. You wouldn’t think you’d miss a child you only got to hold once, but I loved her from the minute I got pregnant. You have no idea how much I loved that girl . . . And now she’s gone. I’d give anything to have her back. Then you came along, and made up having a family like it was a joke.”

Reaching out, I caught the back of her head, sliding my fingers into her hair as I held her eyes.

“I will never lie to you again,” I said slowly. “I was trying to look normal. To fit in. I needed to learn what was happening in town, and that seemed like the best way to do it. If I’d had any clue . . . Well, I wish to hell I could go back in time and change how I did things, but I can’t.”

She blinked rapidly. “I’m not sure I can live with that. You should probably leave, Gage. I’m . . . I’m not ready for anything real. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready again.”

Fuck, I was in over my head here.

Usually I took what I wanted.

Demanded it.

I lived in a hard world, a world where the only way to win was refusing to back down, but Tinker was fragile. More fragile than I could’ve imagined. She was also stronger, though, too. No wonder the sex tape hadn’t destroyed her life. Who gives a damn about a sex tape when your baby is dead?

“I want to kill your ex-husband,” I told her, dead serious. She blinked.

“Me, too,” she whispered slowly. “But she’d still be gone. That part of my life is over, even if he doesn’t realize it. I’m never going back because there’s nothing left for me there.”

“You don’t need to,” I replied, rubbing a thumb down along her cheek, wiping away one of her tears. “You have a life here.”

“Right,” she said bitterly. “Because Hallies Falls is so fucking great. My dad’s losing his mind, I’m stuck with an apartment building I can’t even take care of, and everyone thinks I’m a slut.”

“Jesus, listen to yourself,” I said, frustrated that she couldn’t see the reality of the situation. “Tinker, a couple of small-minded cunts think you’re a slut. Fine. Small-minded cunts are always looking for someone to judge. You’re doing a public service by giving them something to talk about. Everyone else in town thinks you’re the shit—you should’ve seen how impressed they were when you took down that bitch in the grocery store. Open your eyes and you’ll see it. And yeah, maybe your dad is losing it. He still loves you and you love him, and you have each other. And for fuck’s sake, I’m taking care of the apartment building for you so stop worrying already, okay? Why don’t you try living in the moment, instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong?”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Living in the moment won’t bring back my daughter.”

“Neither will hating everything on principle.”

“I think you should leave.”

“I’m not leaving,” I said, surprised at how strong the words came out. Hearing her tear herself down like that actively pissed me off. “And I’m not Brandon. I didn’t lie to you as a joke. I don’t have any kids because I take that shit very seriously. If I brought a child into this world, I’d damned well take care of it. You grew up in a great place, Tinker. Your parents loved you, you have friends, the works. I didn’t. Foster care. Dad died in prison and Mom OD’d when I was sixteen. If it wasn’t for the Reapers I’d have fallen apart, but they took me in like a lost puppy. I understand what it means not to have parents. I’d never do that to a child. Hate me all you want, but don’t give me your hate for your ex, too. That’s all his and he deserves it.”

I closed my mouth, startled by how much I’d said. She cocked her head at me.

“You’re right,” she said slowly. “You aren’t him. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what you did.”

It was a big concession.

“We’ll work on it,” I said, reaching out to touch her cheek. “Starting tonight. I’m taking you out for dinner.”

She snorted. “You mean like a date?”

“Yeah, exactly like a date. We’ll talk and get to know each other. Maybe go out to the clubhouse afterward and you can meet some of my brothers from Coeur d’Alene.”