Requiem

“You’re spoiling me,” I said, leaning back in my chair.



“I happened to know Jared cooks for you al the time. I’m just trying to continue the lifestyle in which you’ve become accustomed.”



“If you say so….” I teased.



“And I like to cook,” he smiled.



“It’s a wonder I haven’t gained fifty pounds living with Jared,” I said, taking my plate to the sink.



“I got these. Go rest,” Bex said, pul ing the plate from my hands.



“Quit it. It’s fifty-fifty around here.”



“Yeah, but I can do them faster,” he smirked.



“True,” I said, yawning.



I trudged up the stairs. Gluttony, in addition to weeks without a proper night’s sleep, left me nearly debilitated. My sluggish arms struggled with the pink striped pajamas I’d managed to pul from the drawer, and once my body col apsed to the mattress, I was unable to open my eyes.



And then it was morning.



No Jack, no Gabe, no Shax. I had slept an entire night without a single dream, much less a nightmare. I remembered nothing. A ful night of sleep was less than a memory, and it was strange to feel rested.



The smell of bacon grease fil ed the air. I bounced out of bed, and trotted to the railing.



“Did you sleep?” I asked Bex, who was bouncing to a tune in his head.



“Yeah,” he call ed. “I was al prepared to tend to your early morning psychotic episodes Jared keeps talkin’ about. I’m disappointed.”



“Wel , I’m not,” I said, retreating to the shower.



A night without the dream didn’t make sense. We had been by the office; I had even spoken briefly to Kim about the dreams, and…nothing.



Whatever it was, I had to believe the nightmares were over. Sleeping al night in Jared’s arms without waking up screaming and soaking the sheets with my own sweat was definitely something to look forward to. I was even more excited for him to come home.



“Did he call ?” I asked, tightening my belt as I descended the stairs.



“No, but Cynthia did.”



“Oh? Did she say why?”



“I don’t know, Nina. Maybe because you haven’t spoken to her in three weeks? She starts noticing when she runs out of charity events to keep her busy.”



“Okay, okay,” I said, picking up my phone.



“Good morning, Darling,” Cynthia said before the first ring finished.



“How are you?”



“Busy, busy. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? I haven’t seen you in…you know I don’t remember? How ridiculous. Come to dinner. Six o’clock.”



“Yes, Mother.”



“See you then, Dear.”



“That was quick,” Bex said, sliding two eggs from the spatula onto my plate.



“Thank you. And it always is. She’s not one for lengthy phone conversations.”



Bex replied with a nod. He was becoming so much like Jared—not one for many words, but it was obvious what he was thinking just by the slightest change in his eyes. Not that a child of Lil ian’s would be any different, but I was so proud of the man Bex was quickly turning into. He made me feel just as safe as Jared or Claire, and he was one of the kindest people I knew.



Bex was a constant reminder of the night Shax’s henchmen tried to capture me in Lil ian's home, and the subsequent months I spent without Jared. Every time Bex was around, each time someone mentioned his name, the sound of Harry Crenshaw's vertebrae snapping resonated in my mind. Bex kil ing anyone seemed so impossible, but I knew better than anyone that impossible didn’t exist.



The ride to Brown was long. Each passing minute of each class was an eternity. Even lunch seemed to drag on. The clock demanded my attention within minutes of the last time I had looked at it. Normal y the irritation surrounding me would be unbearable, but catching up on lost sleep seemed to help.



“Is that a no?” Beth asked, nudging me.



“Huh? I said, realizing I had missed a large chunk of the table conversation. We sat in our usual spot at the Ratty, with one chair remaining empty in honor of Ryan’s absence. It was then I noticed a second chair was also empty.



“I said have you heard from Kim? She wasn’t in American Public’s class. She’s not here. I tried her cel , but got her voice mail.”



“No, I haven’t,” I said, glancing around the Ratty. “Not since this morning.”



Beth frowned, leaning against Chad, as she always did when she was unsettled. “She never misses class.”



Our lunch table was relatively quiet after that, making the minutes pass even more slowly, if that were possible.



The afternoon seemed like an eternity, and by the time Bex dropped me off at the front entrance of Titan, I was crawling out of my skin.



Sasha seemed the likely target to vent my frustration, but she wasn’t in. Annoyed, I rode the elevator to the third floor, settling on Grant as a second choice.



“Afternoon, Peanut,” Grant call ed from his office.



“Piss off.”



Instantly, I felt better.



“If you didn’t own the company, I would fire you for insubordination,” he said with an amused grin.



“Insubordination requires disregard of a command. I simply responded to your greeting,” I said, stopping abruptly at my office door.



“Is that what you had in mind?” Grant asked, shoving his hands in his pockets, oozing with pride.



“I….” I stumbled over the words, reading the letters once more.



Nina Grey Acting CEO Jack Grey CEO “It’s barely dry,” Grant said, teetering back and forth.



I looked out the closest window, and anywhere else in the room other than the door to hide my expression.



“It’s fine,” I said, pushing past him, and shutting the door before he could speak again.



Taking a deep breath, I let my body melt into the door. The office stil smell ed of mahogany, wood polish and the slightest hint of tobacco. It was as if the room had frozen in time the second he died. I could almost hear him talking loud and authoritative on the telephone.



I walked across the room slowly, noting the pictures of him with members of Congress, plaques, a coat of arms, and degrees adorned the wal s.



To my disgust, the large painting of my mother and me stil hung between the two large windows over-looking Fleet Rink.



“That’s going to have to go,” I said, col apsing into Jack's large, black leather chair.



The stack of unopened envelopes was my first order of business, and then I read my company emails. Bored as I was, at least it kept my mind from Jared and the time. Just as the sun began to set, my cel phone chirped.



“Hey Bex,” I said through a yawn, “almost done.”



“Wel that’s good news, Sweetheart,” Jared said.



“Hi!” I said, my voice far too high to feign anything but elation. In reaction, I leaned over to look out the window to the street. No black Escalade.



“You’re not coming home tonight, are you?” I said, deflated.



“On the contrary. I wil be home at ten. Is that too late for dinner?”



The road noise should have given it away, but I had expected to be disappointed. “Where are you?”



“On the road,” he said.



I sighed. “Do I need security clearance for that answer?”



Jared laughed. “I’ll tel you al about it when I get home. Bex tel s me you had a good night’s sleep last night. Is this true?”



“It is. No bad dreams.”



“I look forward to watching you sleep the whole night through, then.”



“See you soon,” I smiled.



My steps were light as I made my way out of the building, and I couldn’t contain my smile when I sat in the passenger seat of the BMW.



“You talked to Jared,” Bex said with a knowing smile.



“He’s coming home,” I smiled.



“We better go move his stuff around and hide his home gym,” Bex smiled, pul ing away from the curb. “He’ll hate that.”



I laughed. “You’re in charge of the home gym. I’ll mix up the forks and spoons.”



“I got it covered,” Bex said with an mischievous grin. “You have dinner plans.”



“Oh. Right,” I said, sinking into the sink with a huff.



Bex sped to Cynthia’s faster and with more precision than any television car chase I’d ever seen, much less been a part of. He jerked the wheel, and let the Beemer slide, counter-clockwise, into the loft’s paral el parking spot.



“One of you wil get pul ed over one of these days, and I’m going to laugh,” I said, trying to steady myself once my feet hit the pavement.



“Our boss has plenty of money to bail us out,” he smiled.



“I won’t bail you out. I’ll laugh.”



“Even if it was Jared?” Bex said, escorting me up the iron steps.



“Especial y if it was Jared.”



“I don’t believe you. And if Claire found out about it….”



“You’re right. I’d bail you out,” I nodded.



I changed clothes quickly, and then fol owed Bex to the Beemer once again, letting him drive like a control ed maniac to my parents' home.



Arriving within minutes, Bex jumped out of the driver's side to open my door. We traded smal talk as he walked with me up the concrete steps, both of us hoping it would be one of our shorter visits. Just as I reached for the handle, Cynthia opened the door, startling me.



“Mother….”



“Agatha is il today. I’ve barely been able to tend to dinner. Of al days for her to get sick….” Cynthia said, looking uncharacteristical y disheveled.



Her eyes targeted Bex.



“Good evening, Mrs. Grey,” Bex said.



She nodded politely. “Wil you be joining us, Bex?”



“No, Ma’am. Simply covering a shift.”



Cynthia’s cold eyes narrowed at him as she held out her arm to usher me into the house.



“I'l wait here,” Bex whispered.



“Probably safer,” I mouthed.



She wasted no time. “And where is Jared?”



“Er…resting,” I said, cringing at my words. Surely I would be better at lying on the spot by now.



“Hmm….” she said, clearly unconvinced. She didn’t press the issue, I assumed it was because of the fact that I was safe. Beyond that she didn’t bother to question.



The table had been set, but I helped bring out the soup and salad, and entrée.



“I’m sorry I always have to ask,” I said, waiting for her infamous scowl.



“You're predictable,” she snapped. Her expression soon smoothed as she scanned the table. “I thought I would try something different. Chicken Coconut Soup, and wild mushroom fricassee over Polenta.”



“Whatever that is,” I said, overwhelmed.



“Nina, real y. You act as though you were fed take-out your entire life. I have always enjoyed cooking.”



“And you never cease to surprise me,” I said, smiling.



She didn’t ask about Jared’s whereabouts again. We stumbled over the smal talk, and politely discussed the weather. Cynthia hadn’t mentioned my father since I returned home from the hospital. I wondered if she ever would. The residual circles under my eyes were a brief topic of conversation, and then I helped her clean the dinner dishes before saying goodbye.



“Dinner was uneventful?” Bex asked, holding the passenger door of the Beemer open.



My eyes narrowed at my former home. “She’s up to something. You’re sure she hasn’t call ed or talked to Jared?”



“Haven’t heard a word,” Bex shrugged.



At the loft, I found myself struggling to stay awake to witness Jared’s homecoming. Reality television kept my attention for a while, but I final y trudged up the stairs in defeat.



“Aw…but they’re going to get in the hot tub in a second. The girls get in a cat fight, its funny!”



“Wake me when he gets home,” I said.



“Aye, aye, El Capitan,” he responded.



“You know you’re not supposed to speak foreign languages to me,” I grumbled, fal ing into the bed with my clothes on. My voice wasn’t loud enough to travel to the first level, but Bex could hear, regardless.



“I wasn’t…never mind,” Bex said, too involved in the hot tub disco party to argue.



Just as I closed my eyes, they popped open again. The alarm clock on Jared’s side read nine-thirty.



“You okay, Nina?” Bex call ed up. “Bad dreams?”



“No,” I whispered. Just that minuscule bit of effort was al I could manage. I hadn’t realized I was so tired, and it was so much easier to fal asleep without the fear of screaming myself awake.



Ice was beneath me, and my bare toes wiggled against the smooth, shiny whiteness below. That was the only way I was aware it was dream—my feet were warm and comfortable. My father’s office window came into view above me. I was standing alone in the middle of Fleet Rink. Soon my naked feet were adorned with a pair of new ice skates, and Jack stood in the window, smiling down at me. A crowd of people, young and old, circled the space where I stood. Sporting matching red noses, their misty breath puffed out with each word or laugh.



I waved to him, and he waved back. Pushing forward, I could hear the blade of my skate scratching the surface of the ice. Looking up again, I noticed Jack was no longer smiling. Instead he bobbed in and out of visibility, pacing back and forth in his office, and then I saw Gabe.



They were arguing.



Oh no, I thought, feeling the tugging feeling again. No!



Back in the dusty, stale office, I landed on al fours again. Anger surged through me. My nights were just returning to normal. I wanted to sleep al night in Jared’s arms. I wanted him to see that things were getting better, that I was getting better.



“I’m not doing this again!” I yel ed, storming Jack and Gabe.