“You mean like you did?”
“That’s different.”
“How is it different?”
“Because I wasn’t trying to get Adam to fall for me.”
Leave it to Rowan to cut to the bone without even meaning to.
“Well I’m sorry not everyone is as perfect as you, Rowan,” I snap. “I’m sorry not everyone has rock stars falling at their feet.”
“That’s not what I meant . . .”
“Sure, whatever,” I say, brushing her off. I turn away to watch the band, sweeping over Joel before my eyes accidentally gravitate right to him.
“Dee . . .”
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I warn her.
“I don’t want to fight with you either . . .”
“Good. Then let it go.”
When the show ends for real, the guys head back into the crowd to take pictures with fans. In the swarm, I find Cody and whisper in his ear, “Let’s go to the bus.” When my lips finish brushing over the sensitive parts of his ear, I pull away, and the look in my eyes tells him everything he needs to know to drop everything he’s doing and sprint with me to the bus.
Chapter Seven
MAKING OUT WITH Cody isn’t very different from dancing with him. He knows what he’s doing, and even though the logical part of my brain remembers that he’s skeezy as hell, the serotonin-drowned part is wearing him like a life vest. His hands are everywhere, and my closed eyes reveal only darkness. The only differences between being here and being back inside Mayhem are that I’m beside him on a bench seat instead of in front of him on a club floor, and instead of music, my ears are filled with the sound of his labored breathing.
It’s quiet. Too quiet. I hate when it’s this quiet. There’s too much room to think.
“Hold on,” I say when Cody’s hand jams beneath my top and squeezes my breast. Kissing aside, I have no intentions of letting this go anywhere. Joel will arrive any minute now, which is why I insisted Cody and I stay on the lower level of the bus instead of going upstairs. I’m hoping that seeing me with Cody will push Joel over the edge. I’m hoping it will turn him all caveman-possessive and that he’ll throw me over his shoulder, take me upstairs, and claim me in a way that makes it impossible for him to let me go.
Cody doesn’t listen. Instead, he pushes my top up over my bra.
“Cody, stop,” I huff, trying to pull my top back down.
“Come on, don’t be a tease.” He drops his lips to my cleavage and runs his tongue between my breasts.
“CODY.” My fingers scramble for his hair, but there’s not enough to grab. “Seriously, stop!”
He grips my wrists and pins them at my sides as he slides over top of me, his tongue slithering up to my neck. “God, I’ve wanted to have you like this since the first time I saw you.”
His pelvis grinds against mine, shoving my body into the stiff gray leather, and blind panic steals the voice from my lips. Fear burns through my veins, making my attempts to wrench my wrists away from Cody’s iron fingers useless. Between his weight and my sweat-glazed skin sticking to the leather, it’s impossible to move. With tears searing my eyes and the breath stolen from my lungs, I’m drowning.
“Cody,” I finally manage to say, my voice just as desperate and frightened as I feel. I’m squirming and kicking and my wrists feel like they’re going to snap in half. “Please!”
He moans and rocks against me. “You’re so hot.”
A sob pushes out of my throat, and Cody releases one of my wrists to squeeze his arm between our bodies and touch me between my legs.
I hate myself for dressing like this. For wearing a skirt that allows him to touch me without effort. What was I thinking? I never think.
I latch on to his shoulder and try with all my might to push him off me, but his weight is impossible and he doesn’t move an inch.
“Cody, stop,” I plead, attempting to kick against the seat to squirm away from his rubbing hand. I turn my head to the side and start crying, words like no and stop being sobbed without any effect.
And then the door to the bus opens and Joel steps inside first, a girl under his arm and a stunned look on his face as he takes in the view of Cody on top of me. I think he must hate me, but then his eyes meet mine. They fill with rage that turns on Cody, and a second later, Cody’s body is flying off of me and landing on the floor.
I’m weightless as I find my feet and rush off the bus. Adam and Rowan are behind Joel and the girl he was with, and they saw everything. Shawn and Mike see only the view of me racing past them with my skirt bunched up, my hair a mess, and mascara streaming down my cheeks.
I nearly trip down the bus stairs, gulping in air and trying to quiet my sobbing. I pull my skirt as low as I can get it as I speed-walk toward my car. I don’t even have my keys, but I need to get away. I need to get far away.
“Dee!” Rowan’s hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me in the middle of the parking lot. “What happened in there?”
I want to tell her, but I know that if I attempt to speak, I’ll start crying again. I’ll break down right here in the parking lot and I won’t be able to pull myself together. I bite my lip between my teeth and shake my head, silently begging her not to ask.
When I reach my purple Civic, I drop to my knees and fumble to find the hide-a-key stashed under the carriage, the sharp asphalt in my knees proving that this isn’t just a bad dream. I still feel frantic, my fight-or-flight response demanding I get home as fast as humanly possible. My shaking hands open the box, remove the key, and let the box fall to the ground instead of trying to put it back where I found it. I’m desperately trying to fit the key in my car door when Rowan’s hand covers mine. She takes the key from me and wraps her arm around my shoulders, walking me to the passenger-side door and helping me climb inside. Once she slides into the driver’s seat beside me, she holds me in her gaze. I can tell she wants to hug me, wants me to tell her what happened so she can assure me everything will be okay. But that’s not what I need from her right now. I need her to take me home.