Chapter Twenty-Four

Iris

“Mmph,” I said, stretching out my arms and yawning. I’d been awake for several minutes, but I hadn’t felt any desire to move. The sun coming in the windows was bright and brisk, telling me it was at least ten or eleven o’clock. But my head was a bit fuzzy.

Well, Kal and I did stay up till after two. Almost three, really.

I sat bolt upright in bed, a hand on my heart and eyes darting around. Pushing back my curls, I met my eyes in the mirror and saw the wild gold mane around my face. With a squawk, I got out of bed and stared at myself.

This is what I’d worn downstairs?

Oversized shirt, soft sports bra, and shorts. Very short shorts.

“Oh no,” I said and tugged on my hair. “Oh no, no.”

Then I looked down and saw the fuzzy socks.

“Dammit.”

As I stared at my feet, though, I recalled, in a sudden burst of warmth, color, and sensation, the very strong grip of Kal’s hand around my ankle. Fingers on bare skin. I spun around, hands to my chest now, and looking around as though someone might verify that had happened.

Or, more realistically, tell me it had been a dream.

But no, we’d drunk beer and talked. We’d had fun. Hell, he’d apologized. More than once.

A nervous flutter had started in my gut and was working its way to my throat. For weeks, I'd schlepped around in any old thing and not given a damn. I didn't exactly want to start now, but I found myself pulling out a nice pair of black leggings, a light t-shirt, and an actual bra. Scooping my mane into a messy bun that took twenty minutes, I realized my stomach was growling when I was done.

Going downstairs, trying to be quiet and listen for Kal, was an adventure in itself. I almost slipped down the last three steps, I was going so slowly. He was sitting in the living room and looked over when I appeared.

“I just woke up, too,” he said and yawned.

A big hand reached up and rumpled up his hair. My hand began to tingle as I recalled, with some mortification, giddily doing that exact same thing last night. Kal had just sort of stared at me after it happened, and I’d toddled away to bed.

“Come and eat,” he said. “I had a feeling you’d be up soon, and I got you a plate.”

Mutely, I walked over and sat down, wondering if I should apologize.

“You’re not hung over, are you?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” I said. “I can hold my liquor.” Kal’s eyebrows rose a fraction. “Usually. Hey, we—I was drinking on an empty stomach.”

Kal gave me a small, sly grin, and my heart thudded painfully, as though magnetized to that unfair amount of sexiness sitting across from me when I hadn’t had coffee yet.

“It’s almost thirteen proof,” he said.

“Wow,” I said. “Okay, that explains it.”

“We make ’em strong—what can I say?" Kal said and poured a mug of coffee, stirring in a touch of honey, before offering it to me. A surreal feeling came over me as I took it, and he frowned. “What? Isn’t that how you take it?”

“It is,” I said and took a sip. “It’s perfect.”

“Didn’t think I knew how you took your coffee?” Kal asked. “Careful, Lisay, I’m observant.”

“Ha,” I said and hastily put the mug down before I dumped it on myself. It was a lot of work to keep from asking, How observant? “Thank you.”

Breakfast proceeded in comfortable silence. Kal was reading over something as he ate, allowing me ample time to observe him. He seemed the same as usual, and yet not at all. There was still that brooding element there, in his brow and shoulders, but at the same time, he seemed relaxed. In no rush to get off anywhere. A serene and sexy hunk of man sitting—

Whoa. I caught myself. Ease up on the “sexy” adjective before you give yourself heart failure.

Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen him in a while, or because he’d been so nice last night, but Kal was exuding a masculine virility that had me almost squirming in my seat. I’d noticed it yesterday, too, but last night had had a dreamlike feel.

This was tangible. From the eggs to the coffee mugs and crusts, it was…

“Maybe you should ease up on the coffee, Iris,” Kal said without looking up. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, not workin’ yourself into a different kind of frenzy.”

“What?” I asked.

He sighed and looked at me, resting his thick forearms on the table. “You’re worried about tonight, right?” I gaped and then nodded, a little too much and too quickly. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll try not to,” I said. “It’s silly.”

“It is silly,” Kal said and leaned back, stretching miles of muscle in front of me.

About to self-combust, I got up and began clearing the table. When Kal protested, I pointed out that he’d cooked, and that I didn’t mind it. But he still grumbled and got up, helping me.

“There’s no rush,” he said. “We’re not working today.”

“We’re not?” I asked.

“Hell no, honeycomb,” Kal said. “Playin’ hooky. Gonna shop for stuff for that room and then go have dinner. Blow off steam and all that.”

Never had so much been packed into one sentence. I wasn’t sure what to pick out first as I stared up at him. Kal’s face was impassive.

“What did you call me?” I finally asked, my voice a little breathless.

There was a brief moment where Kal seemed to take too big a breath, and his skin darkened a few shades towards pink. “Uh, honeycomb. ’Cause of your hair.” He gestured at it. “And the coffee.”

“Right,” I said, nonchalantly and not like my heart was galloping to Veda in my chest.

“Go get dressed,” Kal said gruffly and brushed past me. “We’re leaving soon.”

I nodded, and then I spun around. “Wait, where are we going?”

 

“Pick one, dammit,” Kal grumbled. “You’re getting hung up on details.”

“You’re a big guy,” I said as I pushed past him and sat down at the table again. “You’ll thank me later.” I shook my head. “See, you’d hit your legs on this one.”

A sigh ruffled my hair, big hands causing the wood of the chair to creak as he wrapped them around the arms and peered underneath. I watched him, amused, and hit my knee on the board running underneath it. Kal glanced at me, eyes running across my face and then away as he shook his head. But under all that grumbling, he was pleased.

Hell, he was enjoying himself as much as I was.

I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I knew. It’s what made the cold afternoon brighter and my laughter easy. Maybe the relaxation in his face or the fact that we were together on a simple errand. Or those smiles I was getting better at angling out of him.

“Let’s keep looking.”

We wandered around the big barn, the smell of sawdust and pine in the air. The doors were open and let in the blustering wind, which was rattling the windows. Besides the proprietor and a couple of older ladies arguing about chairs, we were alone.

As though hearing my thoughts, the older ladies glanced over again and gave us quick smiles. I nodded and smiled back. Kal didn’t notice—he was frowning and glancing off in the distance. Suddenly remote and aloof.

The sharp chill of it hit that restless nerve in my stomach, and my smile became fixed.

You’re doing it again, I told myself. You’re letting yourself forget that he is an Alpha. You’re a fake mate who will be sent on her way once she’s outlived her use.

Savagely biting on my lip, I moved away and rested my hands on a table near the doors. It was getting perilously easy to forget why I should keep my distance whenever Kal took even half a step closer toward being the man I’d thought I’d seen all those weeks ago. I had to keep reminding myself to be friendly but not give him any of my heart.

I shouldn’t give any of my heart to Winfyre. Who knows if I’ll stay?

Damn, I was so twisted up and confused about this place. About this man. About me.

Because when it came down to it, this was the most satisfying and happy work I’d done in years. I loved the research and quiet rhythm of my days. If I let myself imagine what it would be like if Kal and I were friends, if we could have more nights like last night, coming together and talking…

Maybe sitting at this very table, my work spread across it and him pretending to be annoyed by the mess. I’d hop up on it, and he’d come over, looking mock-stern and telling me to quit for the day. His warm hands reaching out and holding me. Finding bare skin and pulling me in. Even sitting on this table, I’d barely be up to his chin.

His lips would curve into a smile as he looked down at me and leaned in…

A painful, seismic burst went through my chest, and I pressed my hand to my heart.

Longing.

Such a breathless, consuming longing that I thought my veins would shatter. For a moment, I couldn’t orient myself or even breathe. I tried to focus on the table, to find comfort in the grains of wood and the pretty patterns of fitful light as the sun broke through the clouds.

But all I could think of was Kal.

No wonder I was struggling to keep my distance as he closed in. My heart gave a strange throb, and I stumbled back, gravity betraying me, and I knew I was falling—

My back met a hard, warm wall, and hands caught my upper arms, holding me upright. “Careful, honeycomb.” That deep, stern voice with its subtle inflections of humor and warmth. My eyes closed, and I let myself lean into him, to have this for a moment. But I was doing that a lot lately, wasn’t I? His voice was lower and huskier, closer to my ear. “Don’t fall.”

Too late, I thought, and panic swamped my gut as I nodded, forcing myself to smile. God, I’d only caught glimpses of Kal under all his ice and from the distance he held me at. What would happen if I saw the full picture? I would, wouldn’t I, if we kept getting closer? And he could read me like a book. He’d know, and everything would be ruined all over again.

With a determined swallow, and snapping open my eyes, I crushed it all down. I could never let him know. Again, I wondered if he’d picked up on that stupid crush, and that’s why he’d kept away at first…panic caused trembles to run up and down my arms. I couldn’t lose this friendship, strange as it was.

I couldn’t lose him, even if I’d never had him.

“You should have worn a warmer jacket,” Kal said, and his hands rubbed up and down my arms. I realized I was shaking, and his actions were making it worse. “Honestly, Iris. You worry me sometimes.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said and tried to pull away, but Kal stopped me.

“The last thing I need is you losing fingers or toes,” he said. Before I could grasp what was happening, he’d tucked two warm halves of material around me and settled his arms loosely around my waist. A big breath moved the muscles at my back. “Warm up a moment.”

He’d tucked me inside of his jacket.

A gasping laugh escaped me, and I let my head fall to the side as my fingers grasped the edges of his jacket and pulled them closer. For Kal, this was nothing but practicality. For me, it had finished me. It was too late. All I could hope was that he never found out.

“What is so damn funny about freezing to death?” he demanded.

“You’re right,” I said, but I sounded too silly and too grave. His big arms flexed as his grip tightened. “I mean…”

What did I mean? What could I say except this was the best moment of my life? Standing in a barn of furniture and old ladies, with this big, impossible, and imperfectly perfect man acting on his protector instincts, maybe forgetting I was his fake mate who wished she were his real one.

I looked up and saw narrowed gray eyes. I couldn’t help it—another laugh escaped me.

“You’re such a good man,” I said. “I don’t know why you don’t want me to know. Or spend so much time hiding that fact. You gotta make things so hard for yourself, Kallen Deacon.”

“You’re…” Kal wasn’t one for words, but then again, he never struggled for them. Until now. His lips parted, his eyes a swirl of silver. I’d piqued him without meaning to, and my face became sheepish and sympathetic, while his became one of sheer frustration as he tried not to smile. “Dammit, Iris.”

Something unsaid passed between us at that moment, and Kal’s grip suddenly tightened even more, his eyes closing and his cheek dropping to rest against my hair. His breath tickled the shell of my ear, and goosebumps broke out across my skin.

He cared about me. I knew that. Probably as a friend or, more likely, a stray cat.

“I’m not that good,” he murmured. “If you knew…”

“No one’s perfect,” I said.

“You’re pretty damn close.” I shook my head, and Kal’s big hand pushed into my curls, stopping me, pressing my cheek into his chest. “You smile when it rains.”

“I hate storms,” I said.

“That’s not what I—damn, that was a stupid metaphor,” Kal muttered.

“It wasn’t.” I reached up to pat his cheek.

“Stop, don’t humor me.”

“No, it was fine,” I said. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Kal huffed out a laugh. “Impossible.”

“Why?”

“You know I’ve been called the Dread of the North?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I demanded.

“Most people are afraid of me.”

“Most people don’t know you.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Kal said, directly into my ear, and my toes curled. “And provoking, but in a way that is so goddamn endearing. I doubt there’s a force on earth that could meet you head on and win, Iris Lisay.”

“But I’m not trying to win anything,” I demurred.

“And yet here we are.”

I didn’t know what to make of that, and when he didn’t follow it up, a need to provoke him a bit more rose up. “Face it, Kal," I said, the words leaping off my lips. "You're a contradiction like me."

His fingers found my chin as he lifted his head and turned my face to his. He smiled. A playful, endearing smile, one I’d never seen before on Kal’s face, and one that made me weak in the knees. A smile that somehow made me fall a little harder.

“What did you call me, honeycomb?”

For a moment, I almost backtracked, but then a bold person took over my body. “What—is it hard to hear up there?” I stuck my tongue out. “You should be so lucky as to be compared to me.”

Kal’s hand slipped from my chin as he began to laugh, a rolling and delighted sound. Laughter escaped me, too, and we broke apart. I was grateful for the cool air to calm my fevered heart, though he kept an arm looped around my waist, fingers digging into my hip.

I saw the old ladies out of the corner of my eye, glancing at each other and craning their necks, trying to figure out what was going on. That made me laugh harder.

Finally, Kal straightened and rubbed his face while eyeing me. “Dangerous creature.” I pointed at myself, amused, and he nodded. “You have no idea.”

There was a smoldering spark in his eye that made me want to ask him to continue further and also end this before I got myself into a deeper entanglement. I couldn’t read the expression on his face, but something in the air was different.

I dropped my eyes. No, I was probably reading into things. After all, everything I wanted was standing less than a foot away, exuding a delicious and demanding virility. One I’d gladly be consumed by, as laughable as it sounded.

“Make up your mind?” asked the affable voice of the proprietor, scattering the spell and waking me up. I smiled over at him as he came up, rubbing his hands and beaming.

“Yes,” Kal said, and I looked back at him. He was still watching me. “We’ll take this one.”

When he finally looked away, to finish dealing with the logistics and such, I tried to gather myself. Taking several deep breaths and smoothing back my hair, I went to the open door. Kal appeared moments later and slung an arm around my shoulders.

“Good choice. Let’s go.”

It wasn’t until we began walking that I realized neither of us had even sat down at that table, and I couldn’t even recall what it looked like.