Royal Wedding
I suspect tomorrow is going to be a bad day—like, epically bad—so right now I’m going to take Dr. Delgado’s advice and practice gratitude.
Three things I’m grateful for:
1. That I’m safe in bed with the person (and cat) I care about most in the world, watching this awesome TV show.
2. That I have a sister, even though I don’t know how she’s doing. I hope she’s okay. She hasn’t responded to any of my text messages.
3. That I sent the RGG to sit outside her house and monitor her movements, including when she’s at school tomorrow, because I don’t trust that Annabelle Jenkins girl.
And I don’t care what anyone says: it’s not spying, or intrusive. It’s simply making sure my little sister is safe, and being well looked after.
4. That unlike Olivia, I have a mom, even though I can’t necessarily call to tell her my news, because it’s not really the kind of thing you should tell someone over the phone, especially when they live in the same city as you do . . . Hello, Mom? I’m having twins!
It would be nice just to hear her voice. But I know she’s with Dad right now, dealing with whatever it is the two of them are dealing with. I don’t even want to know, really. I just hope they’re happy.
5. And that it’s the episode where Buffy’s class gives her the special award of an umbrella, to thank her for protecting them, which she wasn’t expecting, because she didn’t know they knew that she was the Slayer, and that she was protecting them the whole time. But they did, and they’re grateful. It makes me cry every time.
Hmm, that’s more than three things. I have so much to be grateful for. I feel like I might burst.
CHAPTER 67
12:05 a.m., Friday, May 8
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
Why do you keep calling me? I’m studying. Unless the consulate is under attack by protesters again and Lars is eating GMO oranges whole, I do not want to know.
Sorry. I just have something important to tell you. But it’s not about Lars.
I saw your statement on the news about your sister. It was good.
Thanks. It didn’t do any good. Her aunt came and took her back to New Jersey.
What? We had an agreement!
She has legal guardianship, therefore your agreement was not valid. But she may have violated terms of said guardianship. Dad’s lawyers are going to be up all night working on it. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you before you hear it somewhere else is 1 M pr3gnt.
Ha ha ha, I know, I read it on the covers of like three tabloids this week. It’s twins.
No, for real, I am, and it is.
Is my brother telling the truth about administering a “mouthful of fist” to J.P. at your grandma’s place?
Yes, it’s true, Michael did. Although he didn’t hit him in the mouth. And I don’t know how the press figured out about the twins before I did. Maybe it’s because they watch me 24 hrs a day and noticed my very slight weight gain.
You really need to cut back on the meds, Thermopolis. I know you’re under a lot of stress, but this is crazy.
I’m not on any meds. I just thought you’d want to know since you’re going to be an aunt for real, but if you don’t want to believe me, that’s fine, too. I’d say ask your brother, but he’s asleep next to the now-empty carton of Rocky Road.
Okay, now I KNOW you’re hallucinating. It’s okay, we did a case about this in class once, over 30 percent of people experience hallucinations right before or after waking and they can feel very convincing . . .
Okay, well, I look forward to your abject apology when I turn out to be right about all this stuff and you’re wrong, especially since it happens so rarely.
Okay. Good night, POG. Try not to operate any heavy machinery.
Good night, Auntie Lilly!
CHAPTER 68
9:35 a.m., Friday, May 8
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
Apparently Grandmère isn’t one of those people who believe that you should treat pregnant women—even women who are pregnant with twins—like they are delicate flowers.
(Michael isn’t either, but he’s decided to work from home anyway—at least this morning, since he has a meeting this afternoon—because I’m supposed to be resting my foot. He brought me breakfast in bed.)
Although I think he’s regretting this decision, because Grandmère’s been calling the apartment since nine, demanding that I come back to the Plaza immediately to explain myself.
Obviously I’m not picking up. I decided to text her because I really can’t bring myself to speak to her right now, and also I’m enjoying my eggs and toast too much.
I thought I explained myself pretty thoroughly last night. I left my explanation on your suit of armor.
Amelia, you are being obtuse. Have you spoken to your father yet this morning? Because I have, and do you know what he told me? He said in addition to giving up his position as prime minister, he’s officially stepping down as regent. He and your mother are “in love,” whatever that means. Abdicating, Amelia! He’s officially abdicating!
And I have just officially had my first round of morning sickness.
CHAPTER 69