Ruin & Rule

“There’s no space for anyone but me.”

“No. There’s no space for anyone but her!”

He pushed me—such a juvenile thing to do but the rage in his eyes glittered dangerously.

I slid on the leather, rubbing my knee where his large fingers had touched me. “What do you feel when you look at me? Do you see the girl you loved or do you see the girl you’re about to sell? Is that why you can’t stand me? Because I remind you so much of a girl that you let down in your past?”

He exploded.

Tearing off his seat belt, he wrenched open the door and flew from the car. In cyclonic rage, he punched a street sign, then whirled around and kicked the SUV tire. He glowered at me through the open door. “Shut up! One more word about things you don’t understand, and I’ll knock you out so cold, you’ll wake up belonging to someone you’ve never seen and I’ll be long gone.”

Shaking out the pain in his knuckles, he snarled, “Understand?”

“Understand, Buttercup? I expect to see you there. I don’t want to be the only one telling our parents that we want to be together.”

I smiled, beaming at the green-eyed boy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. “I will. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Jagged agony lacerated my heart as knowledge blazed bright and horrid.

I made a promise to be there. We both did. But neither of us kept that promise.

We never saw each other again.

Our love died forever two weeks after my fourteenth birthday—six months before he turned eighteen, so close to having everything we’d ever wanted.

I crumbled in on myself. The memory came with emotions too overwhelming to process. Why had it been the last time I’d ever seen him? What happened to us? What horrible tragedy was my mind trying to hide?

The fire.

Blood.

Gunshots.

Screaming.

My heart tried to leap from my chest. The stench of death suffocated my lungs. The fire was lit to cover up a murder. It consumed the corpses of…

The wall grew thicker, firmer, lacing itself with padlocks and heavy chains, determined not to let me see.

Whose blood did I crawl through to safety while the flames of hell turned me to cinders? Who dropped the match that stole my life and memories?

Killian breathed hard, not offering any consolation as I came apart before him. The memory of a love so pure and unsullied buckled my lungs and I sobbed.

I thought I was done in the dining room with the cloying scent of pizza. But I wasn’t. Not truly.

This was my breaking point. Right here, on the side of the road, on the way to be sold.

Wrapping my arms around my rib cage, I surrendered to the keening rage and grief inside. I allowed it to spew forth, exorcising my lackless memory and torrenting over my knees. With each sob, I curled further until my forehead touched my knees and still I kept folding. Folding in on myself, becoming a piece of origami, twisting from the girl I wished I was to nothing more than a commodity to sell.

I wasn’t aware of anything as my world spiraled into grief.

I forgot about Killian and yielded to the burn of scalding tears.

I didn’t see him stalk around the car.

I didn’t hear him open my door.

I didn’t care.

About anything anymore.

Burrowing my face into my knees, I cried harder, purging myself of everything that had happened.

A comforting pressure rested on my shoulder blades. I curled harder, my arms crushed between my stomach and legs.

The pressure moved to my biceps, forcing me upright—demanding I abandon my sanctuary and straighten.

No!

I wanted to remain cocooned and as small as possible.

I fought the pressure, but Kill gave me no choice but to ease upright, revealing my rivering eyes and blotchy cheeks.

I frowned in confusion. Kill stood with his face tight and gaze churning. He hands dropped from my body the moment I obeyed and sat up. Quickly, I looked away. I couldn’t see him. Not after what he’d said and done—how remote and unfeeling he was.

My tears flowed harder as Kill unbuckled my seat belt, and without a word, tugged me into his arms.

The force of his embrace dragged me close. I crashed against his chest. His heart raged beneath my ear, chugging as fast as mine.

His scent of winds and leather wrapped around me like a soft blanket, his strong grip locking me to him so I could never escape.

It instantly felt like… home.

His smell, his warmth, his solidness. I knew. My body responded and another cry escaped my lips.

I didn’t want to question why he’d given in. Why he’d granted me safety in his embrace. But I would take full advantage.

Wrapping my arms around him, I held him as tight as humanly possible while misery continued to crash. I didn’t hold him for solace, I held him for an anchor, so I wasn’t swept away by tears.

Pressing my face against his chest, I expected nothing more. The fact that he hugged me was more than I’d ever hoped.

But then his hold lashed tighter, squeezing hard and strong. He held me like a man who was eternally sorry and wanted his body to transmit the measure more surely than words. He held me like a man saying good-bye.

Snuggling into his chest, I sucked in a heavy breath.

This was where I belonged. Here. With the man from my nightmares. The boy from my dreams.

“Arthur…” I trembled.

He stiffened, pushing me away. Dropping his arms, the static heat from our embrace faded into the air. His voice bristled. “I’m sorry.”