Safe with Me
She’s scared.
“Good morning, buttercup,” I murmur down to Maddie and squat down so I’m eye level with her. “How are you this morning?”
“I have to pee.”
“Well then you should go,” I chuckle at her and usher her through the door and turn to Josie. “Hey, jellybean.”
She turns her wide eyes to her mom and then back to me and stays silent. Brynna crosses to her and sits on the bed with her, running her hand down Josie’s long dark brown locks.
“Josie, it’s okay, sweetie.”
“You hurt my mom,” she whispers and clasps her lips tightly together when they start to quiver.
“I didn’t mean to, Josie, I swear.” I walk closer to the bed but she flinches and cowers into Brynna’s arms, so I stand where I am and shove my hands in my pockets, feeling like a complete asshole and out of my element.
Now what?
Maddie comes bouncing back in the room and climbs up on the bed, looking back and forth between Josie and me.
“Josie,” Brynna murmurs softly. “It’s okay, baby.”
She shakes her head, frowning, clinging to her mom. She won’t meet my eyes.
She’s punishing me.
And she should. Fuck, I wouldn’t trust me either.
“It’s okay, Bryn,” I mutter and smile reassuringly at the girls. “Let’s get going. You all need to get to school and work, and so do I.”
I turn and leave the room, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
***
“You don’t have to walk me in,” Brynna tells me with a roll of the eyes. “Isaac is right there.”
“I don’t care. I’m walking you to the door,” I inform her and hold the car door open for her as she climbs out of my car.
We dropped the kids off at school ten minutes ago. Josie still won’t speak to me, but Maddie made up for both of them, hardly stopping to take a breath all morning.
“What the hell happened to you?” Isaac asks as we walk into the office.
“Bite me,” I respond and flip him the bird.
“You look like hell.” He leans back in his chair and laces his fingers behind his head, scrutinizing me with narrowed eyes.
“Back at you,” I reply and watch Bryn as she sets her bag in the bottom drawer of her desk and sits in her chair. She wore a turtle-neck top to hide the bruise on her neck, but when I look at her, they’re like a shining beacon, reminding me what kind of monster I am. “Matt will pick you up at two thirty, and then the two of you will go get the kids from school.”
“I work a job, Caleb,” she reminds me, her eyes wide with frustration.
“I know your boss,” I smirk and glance at Isaac. “She’ll be getting off early to go get the girls and go home with Matt.”
“Fine by me,” he shrugs and leans forward, grabbing his coffee mug.
Brynna curses us both under her breath, making us both laugh hard.
She’s fucking adorable.
“I gotta go to work myself,” I wince when I check the time on my watch. “I’ll see you this evening.”
“Bye, dear,” Isaac calls after me, and I throw him the bird again, slamming the door behind me.
As I slide into the driver’s seat and start the car, I call up Matt’s number through the blue-tooth and dial.
He needs a heads up.
“’lo?” He mutters, his voice gravely with sleep.
“Wake up, man.”
“What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice more alert and I can hear rustling in the background as it sounds like he sits up in bed.
“There’s no emergency, I just need to give you a heads up because if Brynna doesn’t say something to you this afternoon, one of the girls probably will, and I want you to hear it from me first.”
Jesus, I’m babbling.
“You’re a moron?” Matt asks dryly.
“No, asshole. I had a nightmare last night.” I swallow hard, remembering coming to and Brynna pinned beneath me, her eyes bulging and red, gasping for breath.
Fuck me.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly.
“I’m fine, but I hurt Brynna and scared the girls.”
“Damn,” he mutters with a sigh. “What happened?”
As I explain the events, Matt quietly listens, never interrupting me to ask questions.
“And this morning, Brynna’s acting like everything’s perfectly normal. Maddie was fine too. Josie’s not convinced. She was scared and isn’t speaking to me.” The thought of that still brings an ache the size of Montana to my chest.
“You know it’s not your fault, right?” He asks.
“Whose fault is it then, Matt?” I ask angrily and absently rub my hand over my sternum. “I’m the one who had my hand around her neck. She has fucking bruises! If I were you I’d want to kick my ass.”
“You were dead asleep, Caleb.”
“That’s no motherfucking excuse!” God, I’m just so angry. How could I do that to them? “How can she be so calm about it? How can she act like it’s okay?”
“Have you asked her?” Matt asks calmly.
“No,” I sigh.
“You two are so damn stupid,” Matt laughs ruefully.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s clear that she handled it so well because she’s in love with you, Caleb. You two are crazy about each other. You have been for months.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t. I don’t believe for a minute that you’re having sex with her just because she’s convenient.”
Just the thought of that makes me want to punch him in the throat.
“I didn’t say…”
“You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else, man,” he interrupts, hitting the nail square on the head.
Leave it to Matt to voice what’s going on in my head.
“And if you don’t claim her and those little girls as yours, someone else will be more than happy to.”
“Fuck you,” I mutter without any real feeling behind it. He’s right.
“Nah, you’re not my type,” he responds. “Thanks for the heads up, man. I’m gonna catch a few more hours sleep before I have to get Brynna and the girls.”
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
I hang up and turn down the windy road that leads to the training compound that I now work out of.
The only good thing about getting out of the Navy is now being self-employed. I choose my hours with Redwire, the independent civilian company that works with the military in war-zones. I’ve been training their newbies in weaponry and marksmanship for a few months. They know that I’m one of the best in the field, which is why I make way more money now than I ever did as a SEAL.