This only made Carter laugh harder until he was gasping for breath. I looked at him in confusion. He just lifted his arm and handed me the tube of...

KY Warming Liquid?

Oh Jesus f**king hell. Lube? He put lube on his hands. It only took seconds for me to notice that Gavin was surrounded by condoms. A couple of them open and out of their wrappers.

"Your balloons suck, Carter," Gavin complained.

I collapsed on the bed next to Carter and laughed right along with him.

***

Twenty minutes into Toy Story 2, Gavin fell fast asleep with his head on Carter’s lap. I got up to go to the bathroom and grabbed my cell phone off of the kitchen table so I could sneak a picture. It was just too cute not to document.

I tapped Carter on the shoulder once I stowed my phone away and pointed to Gavin and then motioned back to his room. He awkwardly tried to finagle his arms around Gavin and you could tell he was freaked out about waking him up.

"It's okay," I whispered to him. "He won’t wake up."

Carter shook his head and muttered something that sounded like “Yeah right, until suddenly he disappears and you realize he’s been eaten by a clown.”

He moved quickly, scooping Gavin into his arms like he’d done it a thousand times before and Gavin never batted an eyelash at the disruption. I followed behind Carter down the hall and smiled at the sight of Gavin with his head nestled into the crook of Carter’s neck and his arms hanging limply at his sides. We walked into the bedroom, stepping over all of the toys so we wouldn't trip, and I stood back while Carter gently put Gavin down on the bottom bunk and covered him up. It took everything in me not to sob when he brushed Gavin's hair off of his forehead like I usually did every night.

"My lunch box makes cow ni**les," Gavin mumbled in his sleep before rolling over to face the wall.

Carter looked back at me.

"What the hell was that?" he whispered with a laugh.

I stepped around him, bent over and kissed Gavin's head.

"Your son talks in his sleep," I informed Carter as I took his hand and pulled him off the bed. “I was kind of hoping it was hereditary. I don’t talk in my sleep and if you don’t either, then maybe it has to do with what he eats before bed.”

Carter held onto my hand as we walked across the room. “Sorry to say, I don’t talk in my sleep. What does he eat before bed?”

“LSD, shrooms, the usual bedtime snack for toddlers.”

Before we got to the door, Carter let go of my hand, walked over to the wall and plugged in a nightlight that was shaped like a race car. He joined me at the doorway and took my hand again.

“See? This is what’s wrong with the youth of America,” he whispered. “Too many chocolate chip cookies and not enough acid.”

I just stood there looking at him. A room full of toys and a nightlight? This man had thought of everything.

"What?" he asked, when I didn't move.

"You just amaze me, that's all," I told him with a smile as I pulled him out into the hall, shutting the door to Gavin’s room behind me.

We walked silently down the hall to Carter’s bedroom, both of us knowing without a doubt that this was the next step. I wanted to sleep with him again the first moment I saw him in the bar. It felt like this was a long time coming, but here, in this moment, it finally felt right.

Carter shut the door to his room and I reached around him to lock it just in case. Gavin slept like the dead, but he was in a strange place so I didn't know how well he’d do. Maybe that was selfish of me, but after five long years and no alone time, I think I deserved this. Plus, I’d much rather get a knock on the door warning us he was awake instead of him just barging in and asking why we were wrestling naked.

The only light in the room came from a small lamp on the bedside table that cast a soft glow around the room. We stood there by the door just staring at each other. The weird thing was it wasn't awkward at all. I wanted to take it all in. I wanted to remember every single second of this moment. I didn't want to just have bits and pieces of a drunken night flowing in and out of my mind. I wanted to remember every touch, every look and every feeling. I would never regret the first time we had sex because it brought me Gavin. But this time would mean more, because this time, I loved this man with all of my heart.

In just a few minutes I was going to be totally naked in front of him.

Oh my God, in just a few minutes I was going to be naked. In front of Carter.

Shit, I have stretch marks on my ass. Okay, just keep his eyes off of my naked ass.

He reached down and took my hand, pulling me to his chest. He didn't let go of my hand as he wrapped both of our arms behind my back, clasping our fingers together. His other hand came up to rest on my cheek while he looked into my eyes.

"Before we do this, you need to know something," he whispered.

He's going to tell me he’s g*y.

"I am one hundred percent, absolutely in love with you and Gavin."

My lip quivered and my heart soared. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the tears inside as I rested my forehead against his. Once I got my emotions under control, I pulled back so I could see his face.

"I love you too, Carter," I whispered back.

A smile lit up his face and I brought my hand up and let my fingers trace the shape of his lips. He kissed me fingertips and started walking me backwards towards the bed. I loved the way he looked at me, like I was his whole world. I didn't think we even made eye contact our first time together.