“Did he just compare himself to a ninja snail?” A female voice said from behind us. We all turned. Alyssa, Demetri’s’ girlfriend, was shaking her head and laughing. “Wow, wonders never cease. What were you yesterday, Demetri? A turtle, was it?”

“A turtle?” I repeated. All eyes turned to Demetri.

My brother’s eyes hooded with desire. “You can ride my shell anytime, you—”

“Children!” Jaymeson yelled from the bonfire. “If you’re all done getting in each other’s pants, we’ve got some fake filming to do for the future leaders of America!”

“Truer words have never been said.” Nat nodded solemnly.

“What we do, we do for our country,” I agreed as I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “Later though?”

She winked. “Oh, I promise.”

I still couldn’t figure out how I’d gotten so lucky. A year ago, when Nat was dating my brother, I’d done everything in my power to stay away from her, but I couldn’t. I was in love with her even before she introduced herself and taunted me by threatening to tattoo my name on her ass. Figures. She was the only girl in the known universe who still hadn’t asked for my autograph.

Granted, now we were dating and the whole fame thing had kind of worn off. But still, you’d think she’d at least want my signature. But that was Nat. She made even the most prideful man feel humble. Exhibit A: Demetri.

I swung her hand in mine as we made our way over to our fake bonding bonfire. The record company for my brother’s and my group, AD2, decided that Seaside would be the perfect backdrop for a quick reality show about our private lives. Considering everything went to hell last year when Demetri nearly killed himself and then decided to fall for a local girl just like I did — our publicist was basically salivating. Apparently every girl in America now thought that if they went to Seaside, Oregon, they’d be discovered by some rock star and swept away to Hollywood.

So, now we were basically feeding that lie in the best way possible. Bringing Hollywood to the sleepy town of Seaside, Oregon in hopes to help boost our record sales when our new single dropped in a few weeks.

The best part of the whole reality show was that after only a few days we were so boring, our producer almost cut the whole project.

Demetri didn’t drink anymore, you know, after that whole rehab thing. Neither of us would go within forty miles of any sort of drug, including cough syrup, and we nicknamed Saturdays lazy-whore-day, meaning none of us did anything except sit around and watch old movies with junk food.

It took exactly four days into shooting for the producers to come up with a new idea. In fact, Ruben, the main producer, sat me down and told me straight up that I bored him to tears.

I laughed in his face.

“Can’t you do something exciting?” he pleaded. “Wreck a car? Get in a fight?”

I sighed. If he only knew how bad my past really was, or my giant secret… yeah, he’d probably sell off his own grandma in order to get that story.

Shrugging, I placed my hand on his shoulder and shrugged. “Maybe we just aren’t star material?”

“Right.” He snorted. “And I’m a horny sixteen year old.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Alec.”

“Ruben.”

Cursing, he ran his hands through his hair. “Fine, I’m going to script you guys.”

“I don’t act.”

“You do now. Plus, all you have to do is make nice with your girlfriend, be in love, do a few activities. Trust me. It will be like a vacation.”

Two hospital trips later and I’m pretty sure vacation was the wrong word to use.

The first week Demetri almost lost an eyebrow. It was camping week. He said he used to be a Boy Scout. Clearly, he had lied.

The second week Alyssa, Nat, and Angelica were teamed against the guys in a rowing competition. Nat still says it wasn’t her fault that Angelica fell out of the boat and ended up getting stung by a jellyfish.

Demetri offered to pee on her. Though, he said something along the lines of, “I’ve been wanting to piss on you for a really long time.”

So basically we were TV gold. This was the end of the boys versus girls week, so we were celebrating with a bonfire. More like the producers were trying to show everyone how well we got along. Right.

I took in the scene around us. Waves crashed across the sand. Jaymeson sat next to Angelica and gave me a look that said, “She would eat her own young.” I shook my head in warning as Jaymeson made gestures of a beheading behind her chair.

The woman was crazy. The only reason she was on the show was because Jaymeson had made the life-altering mistake of taking her out on a few dates. Apparently, she wasn’t as bad as everyone claimed. I didn’t get how that was possible. Then again I knew things that no one else did. As did she. Agh, the soap opera of my life.

Demetri plopped down next to me and grinned in Angelica’s direction. She waved back with a smirk and then gave him the finger. I wondered if they’d edit that out later and make her look like a saint?

“Charming,” I said dryly.

“That woman is the devil.”

“The devil has nothing on Angelica Greene.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

“Tell me about it.” Demetri picked up a stick and threw it in her direction. “Go get it, girl! Go get it! That’s a good girl.”

“It’s like you want her to stab you in your sleep.”