Shatter

“I stop hurting you.” I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, Nat. But this is goodbye.”

She sank to her knees on the deck.

I fought with every ounce of will power I still possessed to walk away.

And I did.

I left the girl I loved — the only girl who would ever hold a piece of my heart — crying alone outside. The very fact that I could do that proved to me yet again that I was a lesser man than she deserved. One day… one day she would thank me for being strong enough to walk away. I just hoped I would live to see it. Because at that moment I wanted nothing more than to die.

Chapter Twenty-six

Demetri

“Dude, where you going?” I asked as Alec breezed past me and ran upstairs.

I was just getting ready to follow him when I heard Alyssa curse, bless her heart.

“Demetri!” she yelled louder. I turned around. She was holding Nat and rocking her back and forth. Holy shit. I’d have killed him with my bare hands.

I ran outside and pulled Nat into my arms. I looked over her head and mouthed to Alyssa, “What happened?”

Her eyes were filled with helpless tears. She shrugged and kept shaking her head over and over again.

I jerked my head toward the doorway for Alyssa to give us some time. I mean, I knew Alyssa and Nat were close, but I felt like I was Nat’s brother. I needed to fix this. I had to do something. Damn, I could have killed my brother right then.

“What happened?” I used my thumbs to wipe the tears from her eyes as she choked on a sob. “Nat, what happened? Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“My heart h-hurts.” She cried harder.

I couldn’t just leave her. Alec was damn lucky that she was clinging to me, otherwise I would be bloodying my knuckles for the second time that night. What the hell was wrong with everyone?

“As in you’re having a heart attack, Nat? Or metaphorically? Help me out, girl, because I don’t know whether to strangle my brother or take you to the ER.”

Nat began to hyperventilate. Shit. “Nat, listen to me, you’re going to pass out if you keep doing that.” I looked around for something and nearly cried with gratitude when Alyssa showed up with a paper bag and handed it to Nat.

I was getting ready to say something helpful when Alyssa interrupted me. “I know you’re hurting right now, Nat. I know you’re upset, but this isn’t good. Do you understand? This isn’t healthy. You can stop breathing, and if you stop breathing…” She trailed off and held Nat’s face in her hands. “Do you get what I’m saying? You can’t just think about yourself right now, okay?”

“A little harsh, Lyss.”

Ignoring me, she placed the bag into Nat’s hands and slowly showed her how to breathe in and out. “That’s it, you’re doing great. Just keep breathing, okay? I’m going to send Demetri inside, and then we can talk, okay?”

Nat nodded.

Feeling a little un-needed, and weirded out about why my girlfriend would be the one out of all of us to give tough love during a panic attack, I got up and walked back inside.

Angelica was staring at the floor. Not moving. Just staring.

Right.

I went in search of Jaymeson, but he was nowhere to be found.

Finally, I took the steps two at a time in search of Alec.

Jaymeson was in Alec’s room. With the rest of the camera crew.

“You slept with my mother!” Jaymeson punched Alec across the jaw. Alec was a big dude, no lie. I was already trying to grow balls enough to attack him, let alone pick a fight. Jaymeson wasn’t small, but he was British. I didn’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just… well, he was a bit more wiry than Alec. Built differently. Alec had at least twenty pounds of muscle on Jaymeson.

“Sorry,” Alec said, his face already starting to swell. “But before you go blaming me for everything, you should talk to your mom, Jaymeson. You’ve got a pretty screwed up family.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Jaymeson yelled, pushing Alec away from him. “I hate them! I hate them both and you’ve just made it worse.” His voice cracked. “Because of them, I hate one of my best friends too.”

I walked in the room, hands up. I wanted no more punches thrown. I just wanted the truth.

And then I saw the suitcase.

Oh, hell no. “What are you doing?” I pointed at the suitcase in utter disbelief. “Are we all going somewhere?

I looked at Ruben, but he refused to make eye contact.

“I’m leaving.” Alec pushed Jaymeson out of the way and grabbed some more shirts, tossing them into the suitcase.

“Do I have to go too?” I asked, still confused. Why the hell would he leave?

“Nope.” The sound of Alec zipping up the suitcase may as well have been fingernails on a chalkboard.

“What the hell is going on?”

Alec turned to me. A look of pure desperation mixed with guilt clouded his features. “I can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to her. It’s not fair to you. I was using—” He licked his lips. “It doesn’t matter. Congrats, Demetri, you finally won. You should be proud.”

“Proud?” I spat. “My best friend and brother is leaving me to rot in this hell hole. Not to mention he just broke one of my best friend’s hearts, and you want me to be proud? I want to freaking murder you right now!”

“Get in line,” Jaymeson said from behind me.

“Do it. Maybe I’ll feel better.” Alec stood in front of me. “Or you could move.”