Shopaholic Ties the Knot

We’re going round the world! We’re going to be travelers!

“These last two are very light!” shouts Dad, and waves the cases in the air. “Is there anything in them?”

“No, they’re empty!” I turn to Luke, glowing with delight. “Oh, Luke, it’ll be so great! This is our one chance to have a year of escape. A year of… simplicity. Just us. Nothing else!”

There’s a pause. Luke looks at me, his mouth twitching.

“And we’re taking two great big empty suitcases with us because…”

“Well, you never know,” I explain. “We might pick a few things up along the way. Travelers should always support the local economies—” I break off as Luke starts to laugh.

“What?” I say indignantly. “It’s true!”

“I know.” Luke wipes his eyes. “I know it is. Becky Bloomwood, I love you.”

“I’m Becky Brandon now, remember!” I retort, glancing down at my lovely new ring. “Mrs. Rebecca Brandon.”

But Luke shakes his head. “There’s only one Becky Bloomwood. Never stop being her.” He takes both hands in mine and gazes at me with a strange intensity. “Whatever you do, never stop being Becky Bloomwood.”

“Well… OK,” I say, taken aback. “I won’t.”

“Becky! Luke!” Mum’s voice comes across the lawn. “It’s time to cut the cake! Graham, put on the fairy lights!”

“Right-o!” calls Dad.

“Coming!” I shout back. “Just let me put my garland back on!”

“Let me.” Luke reaches for the garland of pink flowers and puts it on my head with a little smile.

“Do I look stupid?” I say, pulling a face.

“Yes. Very.” He gives me a kiss, then stands up and helps me to my feet. “Come on, Becky B. Your audience is waiting.”

As fairy lights begin to twinkle all around us, we walk back over the dusky grass to the wedding, Luke’s hand clasped firmly around mine.

PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT

Between Rebecca Bloomwood

and Luke Brandon

22 June 2002

5. JOINT BANK ACCOUNT

5.1 The joint account shall be used for necessary expenditure on household expenses.“Household expenses” shall be defined to include Miù Miù skirts, pairs of shoes, and other items of apparel deemed essential by the Bride.

5.2 The Bride’s decision regarding such expenses shall be final in all cases.

5.3 Questions regarding the joint account shall not be sprung on the Bride by the Groom with no warning, but submitted in writing, with a 24-hour period for reply.

6. SIGNIFICANT DATES

6.1 The Groom shall remember all birthdays and anniversaries, and shall mark said dates with surprise gifts.*

6.2 The Bride shall demonstrate surprise and delight at the Groom’s choices.

7. MARITAL HOME

The Bride shall make the best attempt within her powers to maintain order and tidiness in the marital home.

HOWEVER, failure to abide by this clause shall not be regarded as a breaking of the contract.

8. TRANSPORT

The Groom shall not comment on the Bride’s driving ability.

9. SOCIAL LIFE

9.1 The Bride shall not require the Groom to remember the names and past romantic history of all her friends including those he has never met.

9.2 The Groom shall make every effort to set aside a significant portion of each week for leisure and relaxing activities.

9.3 Shopping shall be defined as a relaxing activity.

*The surprise gifts shall comprise those items marked discreetly by the Bride in catalogues and magazines, to be left around the marital home in the weeks leading up to said dates.