Shopaholic Ties the Knot

“I…”

“Yes?”

“I’ve always loved the end of Sleeping Beauty, when they dance together,” I hear myself saying.

“The ballet,” says Elinor approvingly.

“No, actually, I meant… the Disney film.”

“Oh!” Robyn looks momentarily puzzled. “I’ll have to catch that again! Well… I’m sure that will be inspirational too…”

She starts writing in her book and I bite my inner lip.

I have to call a halt to all this. Come on. Say something!

For some reason my mouth stays closed. I look around, taking in the molded ceiling; the gilding; the twinkling chandeliers.

Robyn follows my gaze and smiles at me. “Becky, you know, you’re a very lucky girl.” She squeezes my arm affectionately. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

HOUSE OF LORDS

Appointments Commission

Nomination Form

Please summarize here why you are suitable for recommendation as a nonparty political peer and how you, personally, would make an effective contribution to the work of the House of Lords. Please support this with a CV clearly showing your major achievements and highlighting relevant skills and experience.

APPLICATION TO BE A LIFE PEER

Name: Rebecca Bloomwood

Address: Apt. B

251 W. 11th Street

New York, NY 10014

Preferred title: Baroness Rebecca Bloomwood of Harvey Nichols

Major achievements:

PatriotismI have served Great Britain for many years, bolstering the economy through the medium of retail.

Trade RelationsSince living in New York I have promoted international trade between Britain and America, e.g., I always buy imported Twinings tea and Marmite.

Public SpeakingI have appeared on television chairing debates on current affairs (in the world of fashion).

Cultural ExpertiseI am a collector of antiques and fine art, most notably 1930s cocktail cabinets and barware.

Personal contribution if appointed:

As a new member of the House of Lords, I would personally be very willing to take on the role of fashion consultant, an area hitherto neglected — yet vital to the very lifeblood of democracy.

SECOND UNION BANK

53 Wall Street

New York, NY 10005

February 21, 2002

Miss Rebecca Bloomwood

Apt. B251 W. 11th Street

New York, NY 10014

Dear Miss Bloomwood:

Thank you for your letter of February 20.

I am afraid I could not comment on whether or not a Miù Miù skirt is a household expense.

Yours sincerely,

Walt Pitman

Director of Customer Relations

Six

I’M NOT GOING to get married in New York. Of course I’m not. It’s unthinkable. I’m going to get married at home, just like I planned, with a nice marquee in the garden. There’s absolutely no reason to change my plans. None at all.

Except… it would be amazing. Walking down that aisle in front of four hundred people, to the sound of a string orchestra, with amazing flower arrangements everywhere. Having the huge, dreamy, Lady Di wedding I always fantasized about but thought was beyond my grasp. I mean, it’d be Becky’s Big Day come to life.

Then we’d all sit down to some incredible dinner… Robyn gave me some sample dinner menus, and the food! Rosace of Maine Lobster… Fowl Consommé with Quenelles of Pheasant… Wild Rice with Pignoli Nuts…

I know Oxshott and Ashtead Quality Caterers are good — but I’m not sure they even know what a pignoli nut is. (To be honest, I don’t either. But that’s not the point.)

And maybe Elinor’s right, Mum would be grateful if we took the whole thing off her hands. Yes. Maybe she’s finding the organization more of a strain than she’s letting on. Maybe she’s already wishing she hadn’t volunteered to do the whole thing. Whereas if we get married at the Plaza, she won’t have to do anything, just turn up. Plus Mum and Dad wouldn’t have to pay for a thing… I mean, it would be doing them a favor!

So as I’m walking back to Barneys, I take out my mobile and dial the number for home. As Mum answers I can hear the closing music of Crimewatch in the background, and I suddenly feel a wave of nostalgia for home. I can just imagine Mum and Dad sitting there, with the curtains drawn and the gas-effect fire flickering cozily.

“Hi, Mum?”

“Becky!” exclaims Mum. “I’m so glad you’ve phoned! I’ve been trying to fax you through some menus from the catering company, but your machine won’t work. Dad says, have you checked your paper recently?”

“Um… I don’t know. Listen, Mum—”

“And listen to this! Janice’s sister-in-law knows someone who works at a balloon printing company! She says if we order two hundred or more balloons we can have the helium for free!”