Size 14 Is Not Fat Either

No sooner were the words “keep their doors locked” out of President Allington’s mouth than half the students in the lobby abruptly disappeared, heading toward the elevators with anxious looks on their faces. It’s the habit of a lot of kids in buildings like Fischer Hall to leave the door to their room propped open to welcome drop-by visitors.

This is apparently about to change.

Of course, the fact that Lindsay hadn’t been killed in her room didn’t appear to occur to any of them. Any more than the fact that there hadn’t been anything “random” about the act of violence that had ended Lindsay’s life. Her killer had obviously known her—and also the Fischer Hall cafeteria—at least passably well.

But if this fact hadn’t sunk in to the student population, it had been driven home to the cafeteria staff, who were only just now being allowed to go home after a day’s worth of grueling questioning. I’m shocked to see them come streaming out of the cafeteria shortly after the end of President Allington’s press conference, at quarter to five o’clock…well after those who were assigned to the breakfast shift usually got off work. Detective Canavan and his colleagues had really grilled them…no pun intended.

Still, tired as she must have been, Magda manages a smile as she comes toward me. She’s slathered her fingers with Purel, and is wiping them with a Kleenex. As she gets closer, I see why: her fingertips are black with ink.

Magda’s been printed.

“Oh, Magda,” I say, when she’s close enough. I put an arm around her shoulder, leading her out of the lobby and back toward my office, where it’s quieter. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Magda says, with a sniffle. The whites of her eyes are pink, her eyeliner and mascara smudged. “I mean, they are only doing their jobs. It isn’t their fault one of my little movie stars—”

Magda breaks off with a sob. I hustle her into the hall office, where at least she’ll be hidden from the inquiring gazes of the residents gathered in front of the elevator bank, home after their first day of classes—only to discover that they’ll have to seek their evening meal elsewhere.

Magda sinks into the institutional orange couch in front of my desk and buries her head in her hands, sobbing. I hasten to shut the outer office door, which locks automatically when closed. Tom, having heard the disturbance, comes out of his own office and stands, looking at Magda uncomfortably as the words “Little movie star,” and “Byootiful little baby” drift up incoherently from her knees, which is where she’s sunk her face.

Tom looks at me. “What’s the deal again with the movie star thing?” he whispers.

“I told you,” I whisper back. For a gay guy, Tom can be surprisingly clueless sometimes. “They filmed a scene from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles here at Fischer Hall. Magda was working here at the time.”

“Well.” Tom stares at her some more as she cries. “It certainly seems to have made an impression. Considering it’s a movie no one ever saw.”

“People saw it,” I say to him crossly. “Don’t you have something you should be doing?”

He sighs. “I’m waiting for someone from Counseling Services. We’re going to be holding grief counseling here in the office from five to seven, to help residents cope with what happened to Lindsay.”

I don’t say anything. I don’t have to. He already knows.

“I told them no one was going to show up,” he says beleagueredly. “Except maybe Cheryl Haebig and the RAs. But it came down from the president’s office. The administration wants to look like we care.”

“Well.” I nod at a sobbing Magda. “Here’s someone who needs some grief counseling.”

Tom pales at my suggestion. “She’s your friend,” he says accusingly.

I glare at him. “You’re the one with the master’s degree.”

“In college student personnel! I have to tell you, Heather.” He looks frightened. “I don’t know about this. I mean, any of this. Things were a lot simpler back in Texas.”

I glare at him even harder. “Oh, no,” I say. “You are not quitting on me, Tom. Not because of one little murder.”

“Little!” Tom’s face is still ashen. “Heather, nobody back home ever got their head whacked off and left in a pot on a stove. Sure, couple kids got crushed to death every year under the bonfire structure. But murdered? Honestly, Heather. Home’s looking pretty good right now.”

“Oh, right,” I say sarcastically. “If it was so much better back there, how come you waited until you got here to come out of the closet?”

Tom swallows. “Well…”

“Let’s talk about your quitting later, okay?” I flop down on the couch beside Magda. “I’ve got other things to worry about right now.”

Tom throws Magda one last panicky look, then mutters, “Okay, I’ll just, um, finish up this paperwork,” and disappears back into his office.

I sit beside Magda, resting a hand on her back as she cries. I know this is the right thing to do as a friend…but as someone who works in a helping field, I’m not sure this is what I’m supposed to do. How could Dr. Jessup have hired someone like me? I wonder. I mean, I know I’m the only who applied, and all. But I am thoroughly unfit for this job. I don’t have the slightest idea what to do in the face of sorrow like Magda’s. Where is that grief counselor, anyway?

“Magda,” I say, patting her back through her pink cafeteria smock. “Um. Look, I’m sure they don’t really suspect you. I mean, anyone who knows you knows you couldn’t have had anything to do with…what happened. Really, don’t worry about it. No one thinks you did it. The police are just doing their job.”

Magda raises her tear-stained face to peer at me astonishedly.

“That’s…that’s not why I’m upset,” she says, shaking her head until her—tiger-striped blond, this week—curls swing. “I know they’re just doing their job. That’s all right. None of us did it—none of us could do that.”

“I know,” I say hastily, still rubbing her back. “It’s horrible of them to suspect you. But, you see—”

“It’s just,” Magda goes on, as if I hadn’t spoken, “I heard…I heard it was Lindsay. But that couldn’t be. Not little Lindsay, with the eyes, and the hair? The cheerleader?”