I knew why he was telling me this, and the happiness in my gut swirled with a shot of sudden pain.
“Failure is inevitable,” he continued in a flat tone that didn’t hold much emotion or hope, “and heartache is unstoppable. One day, I’ll forget to clip your wings. When that day arrives, when you run away, I guess I’d be happy to know you’ll still have some money and the means to make it in this wild, tough world.”
Was it wrong that I adored the way the word lovebird rolled off his tongue? I knew he hadn’t told me that he loved me, but I still enjoyed the warm buzz in my chest when he said it. The truth about Miami had changed a lot. His visiting Paddy was not only forgivable but redeeming.
“It was more than a solid,” I whispered, averting my gaze from the window to the bed. Still not daring to turn back and look at his face. “What you did for me.”
“Sparrow,” he warned. “Don’t get any ideas into that pretty head of yours. I told you how things will play out. This…” He took a step back and walked deeper into the room, spinning around so that we faced each other. “This doesn’t have a happy ending.”
“Maybe I won’t run away.” I swallowed hard. “If you came clean about everything, about why you married me, maybe I’d stay. Break the lock to my cage, Troy.” I took a deep breath. “What are you hiding? Who are ‘they’? What did they do to ‘us’?”
“Can’t. It’s illegal. I won’t chance you running to the police with it, and I certainly won’t chance the police finding about it through other sources and questioning you about it. You’d be considered my partner in crime for not notifying them. And risking your ass...” He shook his head. “Not gonna happen. Sit.”
He patted the expensive mattress I kind of missed. Or maybe it wasn’t the mattress. Maybe it was the smell that clung to it. Of the person it belonged to. My shoulders fell and I lowered my head, but I sat.
Still standing, he kissed the nape of my neck. “Obedient. That’s new.”
“Not really.” My tone was flat. “But I’m in my underwear. In your bed. We had a deal. I intend to keep it.”
He tilted up my chin up. I stared up at his blue eyes, getting lost in his gaze. My breath quickened. He wanted to play. I wanted to play, too, even though we both knew he was going to break the toy. Me.
He was behind me. I loved the thrill of never knowing what was going to happen next. He favored this position, when my back was to him. We both knew I didn’t trust him. Which only made it more arousing.
“I believe you have something that belongs to me,” he whispered into my shoulder. It felt like warm feathers traveling down my body. Addictive, awakening my senses again.
My eyes fluttered shut as I breathed him in.
“Your virginity, Red.”
“Take it.” I leaned into his touch, pressing my head against his hard abs. “’Cause that’s all I’m going to give to you.”
I was a liar. I was reckless. I was an idiot. But I was his.
He yanked me up and spun me to face him. Pulling my hair and extending my neck, he ran the tip of his tongue between my breasts. I stilled, holding my breath when his free hand fisted the hem of my shirt.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while now,” he said.
He likes me, my heart chanted. He likes me and he is going to show me just how much.
Yanking the neck of my undershirt down, he ripped it apart slowly, painfully over my skin. He studied the ball of fabric with cold eyes and tossed it behind him.
“You won’t be needing that,” he said, ducking down to meet my hungry lips.
Goose bumps rose on my skin, a shiver breaking along my scalp. I didn’t moan, didn’t give him the satisfaction, but when his hand cupped one of my bare breasts and kneaded it, his thumb circling the ridge of my nipple, I clenched inside without even meaning to.
The way Troy touched me was worth every horrible, self-loathing feeling that I would have tomorrow.
His lower lip caressed my ear. “Guess your magical period is over, huh?”
His fingers moved from my breast down my stomach, making their way between my quivering legs. He spread my thighs, using his fingers alone, and nudged my panties to the left. His strength made me dizzy with want, and I knew once he’d touch me there, I would collapse and lose control again.
“Are you here to talk, or to show me what you’ve got?” My voice cut through the air.
He paused his leisured strokes along my sensitive skin. In one swift movement, he cupped my * hard, like it was a baseball he was about to throw, jerked me into his body, my stomach pressing into his cock, and shoved one finger into me while his thumb rubbed my clit.
It hurt. It freaking hurt a lot.
“Watch it!” I shrieked, flustered, my muscles tensing. I pressed against him nonetheless. “It’s painful.”
“Pain is pleasure,” he elucidated. His finger still inside me, he pumped in and out as he threw me onto the bed and spun me around again. He climbed on top, his muscular legs straddling my body.
I was face down on the pillow, panting like a cat in heat and loving every second of it. He was rough, not romantic or considerate in any way. And hell, that’s exactly how I wanted him.
I felt his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of my ass—more a tease than an actual bite. He ground his erection against me, and I almost begged for him to yank my panties down and enter me. But he didn’t. He just shoved his finger deeper, faster. Even though I winced, I became needier. Rubbing my opening and crooking his finger into me, he found a sensitive spot and pumped it again and again.