“Trust me.”

He stiffens, prepared to argue, but she holds up a hand. “We have no idea how the bond between you is affecting everything. Perhaps if you’re not right here . . .”

Her voice trails away, but I can see her implication take hold in his face. His mouth softens, and he looks at me. “Okay, but I’m leaving Phalanx.”

He jerks his chin at the huge snowy white owl sitting on the railing above, watching us with those sentient amber eyes. I have no idea how lethal his owl familiar is, but considering how much Valerian trusts Phalanx to watch me, I’d say very.

“I’m fully capable of defending her,” Eclipsa assures him. “As you’re well aware.”

He runs a hand through his tousled blue locks, his hair settling over one eye, before he slides his gaze to me. “If anything happens, I’ll know and I’ll portal straight here, okay?”

I yawn through my forced grin. “We’ll be fine.”

I watch him leave and fall into a defensive stance, feet spread shoulder width apart, ready for another try. I’m beyond tired, and my body instinctively tenses, terrified of what new horror Eclipsa will come up with. “What is it this time?” I mutter. “A horde of deranged water sprites?”

Instead of laughing—although, admittedly, my joke was lame—she just shakes her head. “I’m not going to torture you more tonight, Summer. There’s no point.”

“Because I’m broken?”

“Because I think we’re going about this all wrong.” She reaches out her hand. “Come with me.”

I look around, confused. “Where?”

“Don’t ruin the surprise. Just go with it.”

I glance at my gym bag, not even trying to hide my longing to go back to my dorm, take the world’s longest, hottest shower, and then pass out.

With an annoyed yawn, I slip my hand in hers. “Who needs sleep anyway?”

The familiar scent of the portal barely hits before the white gym walls and high ceilings transform into a brilliant midnight sky splattered with stars. The moon is swollen and luminous, nestled between two ivory mountain peaks.

Its delicate light illuminates the most beautiful garden I’ve ever seen.

I gasp, and Eclipsa releases my hand. “Welcome to the renowned poison gardens of the Lunar Court.”

I know from my classes that days and nights don’t exist here, only a perpetual in-between, where the moon shines nearly as bright as the sun. A variety of lethal plants thrive under these conditions, producing the highest concentrations of poison in all the Everwilde.

Curious now, I take in our surroundings. Everything emanates with a faint glow, from the crooked trees to the pools of dark amethyst water to the silver night-blooming roses intertwined over nearly every structure.

Eclipsa and I sit on the edge of a crescent shaped fountain. A rare form of glowing moss clings to the three nymph statues in the center, and moon sprites ignore us as they dip tiny buckets into the amethyst water to take to the plants.

The outer edges of their wings reflect the moonlight so that they look like a thousand tiny stars dancing across the garden.

If the textbooks are correct, the male moon sprites hide in the surrounding trees, guarding the garden from thieves intent on stealing the poisonous plants.

One sting from a male moon sprite can leave an Evermore paralyzed for weeks, and can kill a mortal in less than a minute.

This entire place oozes a quiet lethality, which begs the question . . .

“Eclipsa, why are we here?”

“Because in our world, Summer, knowledge is power. And you deserve to understand why Valerian is terrified of losing you—and why Hellebore is singling you out. Once you understand both, perhaps this all won’t be so frightening. As to the why we’re in the Lunar poison gardens, it’s because this is my favorite place in the world.”

I tangle my hands together in my lap, trying to still my thundering heart. In my short but traumatic time in the Everwilde, I’ve learned that revelations are always bad.

“You asked a while ago who taught us the art of yoga, remember?”

I nod.

“It was the Winter Prince’s mother, Calista. She was a beautiful soul, kind and generous, which is a rarity for Evermore. She also loved the prince in a way that was considered too maternal, too human for many of those in the Winter Court, who expected royal Evermore children to be separated at a young age from their parents and honed into cold, cunning future rulers.”

I shake my head, wishing I was surprised by the Fae’s callousness. “That’s horrible.”

“Out of all the courts, the Winter Court was the cruelest. The prince’s mother couldn’t take it. She started visiting the human world. She fell in love with the mortal culture; your food and technology and strange lands.” Eclipsa laughs suddenly, her eyes distant. “I remember once she visited a place—I think it’s called a monastery—and brought the prince a tiny, smiling fat man made of gold. He has no idea that I know this—and if you tell him, I’ll murder you—but the prince slept with that fat, smiling man clutched in his arms every night for years.”

I’m fairly certain Eclipsa is talking about a Buddha. Under any other circumstance, I would laugh at the idea. But I’ve felt Valerian’s pain. Heard him calling out for his mother. And there’s nothing even remotely funny about any of this.

“Calista’s fascination with the mortal world was a scandal, especially for the Unseelie Courts, who despise the modern mortal world and cling to the ancient laws. But she always came back, and the Winter Prince’s father always forgave her. Then King Oberon recognized the Winter Prince’s powers and began grooming him for succession, and everything changed. Calista started to disappear for longer and longer, unable to bear watching him tortured and turned cruel.”

Bitter anger takes root inside me as I remember the dream. Remember King Oberon whipping Valerian, and Valerian crying out for his mother.

“After a while, she only came back every few years. Some Evermore children would be used to that type of parental detachment, but the prince’s mother had showered him with affection, and when she took that away . . .” Eclipsa sighs, her eyes focused on some distant star in the sky. “Every time she came back, she promised the next visit she would take him back with her. The prince hated King Oberon and wanted nothing to do with his twisted ideology. He truly believed she would rescue him someday from that fate.”

I focus on a moon sprite on the edge of the fountain, watching the delicate creature preen its light-gilded wings rather than see the pain in Eclipsa’s face.

“When you and the Winter Prince decided to flee, Calista promised to help you and the prince hide in the mortal world together. Then you were discovered fleeing the Summer palace and killed.”

My body sags into itself. Lately, whenever I even think about my death at the hands of my father, it leaves me feeling down for days. “What happened to his mother?”

“That’s the thing.” Eclipsa runs her fingers idly through the deep purple pool of iridescent water. “We think . . . you see, Calista was the only one who could have told the Summer King of your plans.”

I straighten in surprise. “Why would she do that?”

“Because she had a daughter, and she knew there was never any chance that the prince could hide from King Oberon—not as the heir apparent. Not with that much power. So she bargained one child’s life for another.”

Valerian had a sister? “I don’t understand.”

“The prince’s sister, Wynter, had been a hostage of the Summer Court for years. In exchange for the information about your planned escape with the prince, your father not only gave Calista her daughter back, but used his strong magic to hide them in the human world.”

“Are you sure she betrayed him?”

Eclipsa’s eyes glitter with violence. “All we know is the day you died, they both disappeared, and no one has seen them since.”

Oh, God. I press a fist just above my heart. “How can a mother do that? Destroy one child to save another?”

“I don’t know but it would have been better if she’d never shown him kindness at all. The day his mother betrayed him and caused your death, something inside him broke. He stopped feeling anything.” Eclipsa’s voice is so soft I barely hear it as she says, “If my spies ever discover where Calista is hiding, I have a special dagger with her name on it.”

I don’t doubt that one bit. A part of me feels the same way, especially knowing the pain I felt from the nightmare is nothing compared to what Valerian must have felt when she betrayed him.

A mother’s rejection is its own special kind of injury that never heals.

“He won’t talk about it, at least, not to me.” Eclipsa holds out her finger, watching as a moon sprite lands on the end. “But I thought you deserved to know why he acts the way he does.”

“Because he’s afraid I’ll abandon him like she did?”

“Because you gave him the one thing that could hurt him again—the burden of caring. And that terrifies him more than anything.”

Oh, boy. As an Evermore, I suspected Valerian had a mountain of emotional baggage that would take the good part of a lifetime to unpack. But I see now that mountain is unscalable.

There’s no unpacking it, only living in its shadow.

Can someone used to countless lifetimes of pain ever learn to fully trust? Fully love in the way that I want—no, that I need?

I look to Eclipsa to discover she’s watching me intently, probably trying to determine just how freaked out I am. “You knew me then, right?” I ask. “When I was one of you?”

“I did.” She grins. “I hated your guts at first, by the way. He actually made me swear an oath of magic not to assassinate you.”

For some reason, I laugh. “Why? Was I a raging bitch?”

Her grin fades. “No, you were really kind and funny. But by then, between his mother constantly abandoning him and King Oberon’s torture, I knew he couldn’t take any more heartbreak.”