“Jesus, Storm...”

He’s breathing heavier. I think he’s stroking his cock as we’re talking. I wish I could see him, touch him.

“Are you touching yourself?” I whisper.

“Yes, I’m so fucking hard for you right now. Will you take the toy and rub it against your clit?”

“Yes... lemme just try to do this without dropping the phone. You could have gotten a smaller one...”

“Baby, you are such little train wreck.”

“I’m sorry...”

This will never work. He’s used to professional sluts who know how to suck him like a shop vac in a flood, and know how to work this vibrating rabbit. I am clumsy and completely sexually incompetent.

“Don’t be sorry, Evie. You’re exactly what I need. You frustrate the hell out of me, but I love it more and more every day.”

“I’m a mess... you’re right...” I feel like I’m going to cry. I can’t even do phone sex right. There is no way I will be able to keep a guy like him satisfied.

“You’re going to be my mess. Now cut the shit. I can’t take this anymore. I want you to take the toy and rub yourself with the tip of it.”

“Should I turn it on?”

“Not yet. Just lay back and listen to me. Stop thinking.”

I tentatively rub the tip of the vibrator against me.

“Now slowly push it in just a tiny bit.” I do. I can feel myself getting wetter. I feel naughty.

“Turn it on and put the bunny ears right over your clit.”

I do that, and the little buzzing ears vibrate a million thousand times on my already quivering bud.

Holy shit! Where has this thing been my whole life?

“Oh, wow...” I say breathlessly.

“It’s nice, huh? I wish that was my tongue licking you but for now this will have to do.”

I press the little ears harder against me. “I loved when you licked me,” I tell him. “I never felt anything like that. Ever. It was even better than the hot tub.”

“You just wait, baby. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” His breathing is becoming heavier, faster as is mine. I can hear his hand on his flesh.

“I want you to slowly slide the vibrator into you, Evie. Keep the little ears pressed against you.”

“Okay...” I push the head of the toy inside myself, but it’s not going in easy. It’s wide and feels too big. I want it, though. I’m so turned on from the vibrating and knowing he is touching himself right now, thinking about me.

“It’s tight, Storm. I can barely push it in.”

“Fuck, baby. I want you to try to get more in. I want you to know what I’m going to feel like. Close your eyes and think about me, pretend that’s my cock, slowly ramming into you.”

Ramming.

I slowly push more of the toy inside me. I feel my insides spreading. It hurts, but I push a little further. The vibrating sensation is wild, making my entire body light up and want to be touched.

“Feel how I’m going to spread you open around my cock, Evie. Feel how deep I’m going to go into you.”

“Oh, God, Storm...”

“Does it feel good?”

“Yes... so good.”

“I’m going to come... I want you to with me. Can you?”

“Yes... please.” I push the toy in and out, faster and deeper. It hurts, but I don’t care. The pleasure is outweighing the pain. Envisioning Storm inside me takes all the pain away. I want him in me, just like this.

“Storm... now...” My words are gone, stolen by the orgasm that sweeps over my body. I hear his breath in my ear, gasping. He sounds so incredibly hot. I wish so badly I was there with him, my hand on his cock instead of his own.

We’re quiet for a few moments, basking in the wooziness of post-orgasm, listening to each other’s breathing.

I pull the toy out of me and turn it off. Shit. My body feels like Jell-O. Every orgasm I’ve had in Storm’s presence has been intense and exhausting.

“Thank you for doing that with me, Evie. That was sexy as hell.”

“No, thank you for sending me this thing.”

He laughs deeply. “Don’t enjoy it too much. I want you to need me to make you feel good.”

“Whoever invented this thing is a genius,” I say. “And don’t worry, I don’t think it can take your place.”

“It better not. Or else it will suffer my wrath.”

I giggle at him. “I wish you were here,” I tell him. “I looked at our picture at least a hundred times today.”

“I may have done that, too.”

I glance over at the clock. It’s getting late. I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to let him off the phone. I wish I could feel his arms wrapped around me again like he did in the truck.

“Evelyn, I really like you like this. Letting your walls down. I love hearing you laugh.”

“It’s hard, Storm. I feel guilty and like I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I get that. I really do. But you’re not a bad person, Evie. And I know I’ve dragged you into a lot of situations you didn’t want to be in, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m not sorry for making you happy, and hopefully, getting the chance to make you even happier and getting you to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy life a bit more. Life’s too fucking short to be miserable.”

“I know...”

“Did you say you were on the pill?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Because when we make love, I don’t want to use anything. I just want to feel you.”

I’m not sure how I feel about that, knowing he’s been with so many women. “Storm... that makes me a little nervous.”

“You think I have a disease?”

I gulp. “Yes. You said you sleep around...”

“I always use protection. And I get tested every six months, just to be sure. I’m going to send you copies of my results.”

“Storm... you don’t have to do that—”

“Yes, I do. I want you to feel safe with me. It’s not a problem at all. I have digital records of everything. I’ll send it all to you so you can feel comfortable with me.”

I feel awful making him prove his sexual health status to me, but in all honesty, it will alleviate my worries.

“All right. I’m sorry, Storm. I hate to make you feel like that. I really do.”

“Evie, it’s totally normal. No worries at all, okay, baby?”

“I’m looking at apartments tomorrow night,” I tell him, wanting to change the subject. “I found three I might be able to swing.”

“I told you if you need money I will help you. There’s no reason for you to stress about that.”

“Storm, no. I need to do this on my own. I appreciate the offer, but I really need to just do this myself.”

He relents. “All right, babe. Just know the offer stands. You better go to sleep. I don’t want you playing with the bunny all night, okay?”

“I’ll try not to,” I tease.

We say our goodbyes and I fall asleep, mentally and physically exhausted.

Chapter Seventeen

Looking at apartments by myself has a bigger impact on me than I thought it would. At first, I thought of this just as an escape. A place to just stick my things in until... until what I’m not sure.

But now, actually looking at these apartments, I suddenly feel very independent. Strong. For the first time in my life, I’m doing something just for me, by myself. With no one’s direction, or help, or assistance. Apartment number three feels magical to me. It’s attached to an older couple’s large home but is completely separate from their house with its own entrance. The woman’s mother had lived there before she had to go into a nursing home. It has two bedrooms, a large bathroom, small kitchen, and large living room with a dining area off to the side. Both the master bedroom and the dining area have built in window seats—perfect for me to write in my journal and for Halo to sunbathe. The rooms have vaulted beamed ceilings and everything is decorated very soft and earthy with warm beige, corals and jades. It feels cozy and just... right. It’s still fully furnished with beautiful furniture that looks like it’s never been touched, and pretty artwork of flowers and hummingbirds hang on the walls. All the paintings have hummingbirds.

Jane, the owner, smiles when she sees me looking at the paintings. “My mother... she painted all of these when she was younger. She had a fascination with hummingbirds.”

“She’s very talented,” I exclaim. “They are all so beautiful. She really captured them. Who doesn’t love hummingbirds?”

She beams and then shows me the closets with built-in storage shelves and drawers, and proudly informs me the appliances are all under two years old. I love her. She is sweet and reminds me of my mother.

Standing in the living room, I know this is where I want to live. This is where I want to start my new life.

“I love it here. It’s perfect. I would love to live here if you approve.”

“May I ask is it just you who will be living here?”

“Yes... and my very elderly cat that is deaf. He’s very clean though, he doesn’t have any bad habits. I have a boyfriend who may stay occasionally, but he would not be living here permanently.”

“Oh, that would be no problem at all. I’m a cat lover myself. I have two. I like you, Evelyn. I think you would be a wonderful tenant. I’ve been rather picky about who I want to live here, as it’s attached to our home and everything here belonged to my mother. Sadly, she didn’t get to stay here long and couldn’t take any of it with her, so if you need it, all of the furniture could stay. We honestly have no use for it. I have four bedrooms in the house and they are already furnished, and we don’t need a living room set.”

“Jane, I don’t even know what to say. That would really help me so much. I don’t really have any furniture of my own. And I absolutely love all of this. I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. I can pay you for it—”