Storm

“Well, I’m sorry we wasted so many fucking years together.”

He looks relieved in a way, like a big weight has been taken off him. A weight named Evelyn, obviously.

I turn to him. “How long have you had a girlfriend? How many have there been?”

He lets out a deep breath. “There was one when I was twenty that lasted a few months. Then another one a few years ago that lasted about a year, then I met Sue about two years ago, and we’ve been together since. She lives by the other office. I stay with her when I travel there for work.”

I feel like he’s physically slapped me. “You spent Christmas with her.”

Guilt shrouds his face. “Yes.”

I jump up, sending the pillow flying. “So you’ve been carrying on two relationships for two years? And sleeping with both of us?”

“Yes.”

I shake my head at him in shock, tears of anger springing into my eyes. I’m fully aware I am not entirely innocent either, but for him to be in a relationship with another woman for two whole years is unfathomable to me.

“You’re sick.” I spit the words at him.

“You told me you’re in love with someone else so obviously you haven’t exactly been faithful either, Evelyn. Have you?”

“No, I guess I haven’t. But I haven’t been fucking someone for two years, letting you believe we had a future together. Once I realized I was serious about someone else, I decided to end things with you before it went any further.”

He laughs sarcastically at me. “That’s really noble of you, Ev. So who is this guy? Someone at the office?”

I waver for just a moment before I answer. “No. It’s Storm.”

His expression is shocked, then angry. “You can’t be serious, Evelyn.”

“I am.”

“Are you out of your fucked up mind? Do you even know who he is? He’s fucked every damn lingerie model from here to California. What the hell would he want with you?”

Apparently, the idea of anyone actually wanting to be with me is ridiculous. Duly noted.

“He cares about me,” I answer defiantly.

“As a friend, Ev. Don’t confuse that with any actual interest. I can’t believe you’re letting some fucking crush on a rock star lead you into making life altering decisions.” He stalks into the kitchen and grabs another beer, slamming the fridge. “I’m seriously worried about you, Evelyn. What the hell are you doing?”

I open the hall closet door and pull out Halo’s cat carrier. I really hadn’t planned to stay here tonight, but didn’t want to make any definite decisions until after I told Michael. Now I know I have to leave tonight. Most of my things have already been moved into my apartment. I can come back for whatever is left while he’s at work and never have to see him again.

“You don’t know him, Michael. I do. I know that’s hard for you to believe, what with me being so fucking awful and all. We’ve spent a lot of time together while you were off with your girlfriend ‘working.’ He took care of me when I was sick. He took me to his family’s house for Christmas. He’s not the person you see on stage.”

“And how many times has he fucked you?”

“Not once.” I sneer in his face.

He looks triumphant. Glad, even. “Then I guess he can’t be too interested, can he?”

“Whatever. Think what you want, Michael. I’m leaving now. I’ll come back for my things while you’re at work. I’m leaving all the furniture. You can have it. I split our savings account in half. I think that’s fair.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave?”

I gently pick up Halo and place him in the carrier. “Yes. I think we’re pretty much done here. Now you can focus on your girlfriend and not have to worry about me.”

“Evelyn, you’re making a huge mistake. Storm is going to fucking destroy you. He’s going to fuck you like a toy for a few weeks and dump your ass. No way in hell is someone like him going to stay with you. You’re crazy if you think so.”

“It’s not your problem, is it? You’re free of me now.” I pick up the carrier and my purse and head for the door, but he grabs my arm and whips me around.

“I still care about you, Ev. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I didn’t spend twelve years of my life trying to make sure you’re okay so some asshole can mess you all up and kick you to the curb. You’ve been so... sheltered. You don’t know to deal with people like him.”

I wrench my arm out of his grip. “He’s not going to hurt me.”

I leave quickly, without looking back. By the time I get to my car and have Halo’s carrier strapped to the front seat, I’m crying and shaking. Michael just threw every fear I already had into my face. What if he’s right? What if I really have disillusioned myself about Storm?

I start the car but pull my phone out before I drive off. I have a bunch of text messages from Storm.

Storm: Just wanted to check in on you and make sure you’re okay. I know this is hard for you.

Storm: You okay, baby?

Storm: I gotta get on stage now. Kind of worried. Don’t like it. Text me.

A sense of peace washes over me as soon as I step into my new apartment. I feel safe here, surrounded by these soft, soothing colors. There’s no negativity here, no bad memories.

I show Halo where his food dishes and litter box are, and watch him creep around the rooms, sniffing everything. I hope he likes it here as much as I do.

I send Jane a text, telling her I have officially moved in as I promised I would. I’m not ready to text Storm yet. I need to be alone with my feelings for a little while and clear my head. Hearing Michael admit he’s had not one, but several long-term affairs completely shocked me. I never even realized or suspected anything. Was that because I trusted him, or because I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I just didn’t notice?

I need to sleep, to rest my mind and body. I take a Valium, something I haven’t done in a very long time. I just need my brain to stop for a while. I undress and crawl into my new king-sized bed. It reminds me of Storm’s bed, plush and cozy. I don’t feel scared here, being alone, like I did at the condo. I feel like I’m home.

My brain, on the other hand, feels numb. Somewhat disconnected from my own life. I once read the brain will sometimes just shut off to try to protect us from feeling too much. I think that’s what’s happening to me right now. Or maybe it’s the Valium starting to take effect. Either way, I welcome the fog that settles in my mind.

The buzz of my cell phone startles me. I pick it up and see Michael’s number on the screen. Seriously, why would he even call? I hit Ignore, but a few minutes later, I have a voice mail, which I’m not sure I even want to hear. What could he possibly have to say? I should just delete it, but curiosity wins and I press Play.

“Ev, it’s me. I just wanted to say... I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I do love you. I-I don’t want to lose you. I want you to come home. Let’s talk about this. Maybe we can work this out somehow. I don’t know how, but maybe. I just think you’re going to get hurt. Just think about what you’re doing. Think about who you’re putting yourself with. What kind of life could you possibly have with him? You’re afraid to leave the house most of the time. You hate me being gone all the time. Fuck, how are you going to deal with dating someone famous who’s on tour half the year? With women offering themselves to him? C’mon, Ev. I think you’re star-struck or something. Just come back home. You don’t have to do this. All right... just call me, I guess.”

Come back? And do what? Share him with another woman? Crawl back into my dull, clueless, passionless existence?

No.

Chapter Nineteen

Banging. Banging. Ringing. Ringing. The noise is slowly pulling me out of my slumber. What is that racket? I slowly lift my head, unsure of where I am. I look around the room and it all comes back to me. The clock next to my bed says eleven-forty-five p.m. Holy shit, I slept for freaking fourteen hours!

What the hell is that noise? Someone is banging on my door and leaning on the doorbell. I climb out of bed and head down the hallway toward my front door. I swear if Michael somehow figured out where I live and came here, I will strangle him.

I stand on my tip toes and peer out the little door peephole. Holy. Shit.

Quickly I unlock the door, not able to open it fast enough. He rushes in and has me in his arms so fast I almost fall on my ass.

“Storm… what are you doing here?” I can’t believe he’s really here. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tighter than I ever have. God, he feels so good.

He pulls away slightly and holds my face in his hands. “I was so fucking worried about you.” He kisses my lips, softly at first, then deeper with an urgency I’ve never felt from him.

“I’ve been calling and texting you like crazy, Evie. I called Amy to get your address and took the first flight I could out here.”

I try to catch my breath, breathless from his kiss. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I lean against him and bring my lips back to his, kissing him softly, tasting him. He tastes like bubblegum.

He breaks away from me and runs his hands through his hair.

“Why didn’t you call me? Or text me? Did you change your mind?” He grabs both of my hands in his. He looks so worried and totally frazzled. He’s unshaven, his shirt wrinkled. He looks as if he jumped on a plane right after his concert.

“Changed my mind? About what?”

He looks around my apartment and then back at me. “About me. About us.”

I shake my head frantically. “No… of course, not. It was just…” I try to find the right words. “So horrible with Michael. I was upset. By the time I got here, my head was just killing me and I couldn’t deal with any more of it… so I took a Valium and it completely knocked me out.” I lean up and kiss his cheek. “I can’t believe you came here, I’m so sorry. I feel terrible now… It must have cost you a fortune to get here so fast—”