Stuck-Up Suit
My dick twitched just thinking about being with her.
“I’ll tell you whatever the fuck you want to hear if sex with you is on the table right now.”
“Exactly. My point exactly!”
Even though we were arguing slightly, I could sense the humor in her tone. I somehow knew she was smiling along with me and enjoying our little exchange.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Alright…let’s turn the tables on you. How did you become such a snarky little pistol?”
“I’ve always been this way.”
I chuckled to myself. Somehow, I believed that. She seemed to be naturally spunky, not putting on a show. This was who she really was.
“What do you for a living anyway, Soraya?”
“What do you think I do?”
“That’s a loaded question.” I scratched my chin and put my legs up on my desk. “Based on the little I know about you…an amazing set of tits and legs…I’d say maybe you’re a go-go dancer in some dark, smoky club.”
“Well, you got the dark and smoky part right. My office is dreary, and my boss likes to sneak butts.”
“It better not be your butt he’s sneaking.”
Jesus. Pipe down before she thinks you’re a jealous lunatic.
“He is a she…and they’re cigarette butts she sneaks behind closed doors in her office. I work for an advice column. It’s a lame job, just pays the bills.”
“I actually think that sounds very intriguing. What column is it?”
“I’m not sure I should tell you. You might try to stalk me at work.”
“Wouldn’t that be ironic? Are you not remembering how I was first introduced to you?”
“It’s Ask Ida.”
“I feel like I know that name.”
“She’s been around for years.”
That’s right. Mom used to read it.
“My mother used to read that column. What do you do there?”
“I weed through and answer some of the submissions that come in through the website, and I assist Ida.”
I laughed. “So, you give advice to people?”
“What’s so hard to believe about that?”
“I need some advice.”
“Okay…”
“How do I get you to agree to see me?”
“Trust me. Sometimes, it’s better to keep things a mystery. I don’t think anything good can come of us getting together.”
“Why is that?”
“You’d just be using me for sex.”
I had to ponder whether she was right. The sexual attraction was off the charts. But deep down, I knew this connection with her was far deeper than that. I just couldn’t figure out where it was coming from or what it meant. Soraya had lit some kind of fire in me that I couldn’t extinguish. Getting her naked beneath me was definitely a goal, but it wasn’t just that. I needed to figure it out.
“Not to be a dick, but I can get ass anytime I want from almost anyone. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then, what is it?”
“I don’t exactly know,” I said, truthfully. “But I want to find out.”
She was silent for a few seconds then seemed to withdraw. “I think I should go.”
“Is it something I said?”
“I just need to go.”
“Alright then. When will we talk again?”
“I don’t know.”
Then, she just hung up.
Soraya Venedetta fucking hung up on me. An urge to chase her down overtook me.
Calm your dick, Graham.
My stomach growled, making me realize that incompetent Lynn never returned with my sandwich and coffee.
Approaching the front desk, I asked, “Where the hell is my secretary? She was supposed to be back with my lunch.”
“I’m afraid she notified the agency that she’s not coming back.”
Fucking great.
My head ached from caffeine withdrawal. I returned to my office and grabbed my jacket before heading out to the deli down the street.
Opening my laptop at the table, a brilliant idea came to me. I looked up Ask Ida’s website and decided to submit a question in the hopes that it would reach Soraya. I began to type.
Dear Ida,
There’s this woman I can’t seem to get out of my mind. She texted me pictures of her tits, legs, and ass, but won’t let me see her in person. The only reason I can think of is that she’s really ugly and afraid to show me her face. How can I get her to agree to see me and to understand that not all men are as shallow as she seems to think? –Stuck-Up Suit, Manhattan