Sweet Addiction

“Fuck no. I already decided that you’re moving in with us until this shit blows over. Reese will break through that new window of yours if he knows you’re upstairs in your loft.” I give him half a smile and pick up my duffle, swinging it over my shoulder as the tears begin to fall again.

“Come on, cupcake. You’ll be okay.” And with one final look, I lock up behind us and let Joey move my body down the hallway and towards the elevators, because I have no control of it myself anymore.

**

After a quick stop at the bakery to pick up some things, Joey takes us back to Billy’s condo and quickly pours us two massive glasses of wine. He offers me the guest room which I place my stuff down in before zoning out on the couch, staring down at my glass. I’m still crying but not as heavily, only a few tears streaming down my face in between blinks. I rubbed and cried off all my makeup and haven’t dared to look at myself in a mirror for fear as to what I might see. My heart physically aches, like it’s slowly being pulled apart by some unseen force and it’s taken its ever loving time doing it too. I just wish it would speed up the process and rip it to shreds already. After several minutes alone with my thoughts, Joey joins me on the couch with a heavy sigh.

“I’m so f**king confused right now. Dylan, I really thought, shit we all thought that Reese wanted more than just some casual bullshit.” He grabs my hand as I keep my head turned down towards my glass. “I’m so sorry, cupcake. Do you want to call Juls?”

I take a massive sip, hoping to dull some of the pain because alcohol is the poster child for broken heart syndrome. “I will, although I probably don’t have to. Once my note is discovered and he can’t find or talk to me, he’ll be calling Ian who will in turn inform Juls.” I swallow another gulp. “I feel so stupid. Everyone warned me about him, you especially. Telling me what all Billy said about how he doesn’t and will never do a relationship.” I shake with my cries and have to put my glass down, covering my face up as it all comes back again. “I hate him.” Joey wraps me up and hushes me as I convulse in intense sobs against his body. This is it. This is what being broken feels like. And a man that I wasn’t even in a relationship with did it to me. Fucking hell.

Twenty One

Two days before the wedding.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, Juls. You need to decide on a cake flavor now or you’re not getting a f**king cake.” Good Lord. I get that the girl only cares about her sweet husband to be but shit. I’m in charge of providing something decadent and she’s only given me the type of flowers she wants on it. Juls just laughs at me as she flips through my design book in my kitchen bakery.

It’s been close to three months since I ended things with Reese. After he came home and found my note, my phone didn’t stop ringing for a week straight. I ignored all of his calls and texts, and I also ignored everything Juls would try to tell him about him. I didn’t want to know how upset he was or how bad he wanted to talk to me about things. I moved back into my loft after only spending a few days at Billy and Joey’s condo. They were very sweet to me and overly hands on with my healing process, but I knew that if I was going to move the f**k on, I needed to do it in my own place. The texts and calls from Reese stopped after a month and a part of me wished that I hadn’t deleted every text without reading it or every voicemail without listening to it. I missed his voice and I hated myself for it. I missed his words even more and that made me want to punch someone. But he got the hint and I haven’t seen my phone light up with his name in exactly fifty-four days. Juls got the hint also and stopped bringing him up, but I think that was mainly because her wedding was quickly approaching and she had a lot of shit to take care of. And Ian knew better than to talk about him around me. He’s been a witness to some of my verbal attacks on men.

I’ve seen her and Ian a lot in the past two months, helping them plan the wedding that my best friend basically put into her husband to be’s hands. He’s been amazing, like really amazing at handling everything except for the God damned cake selection. That he decided to leave up to Juls and I’m about to hit her upside her pretty little head with my design book if she doesn’t pick something out already. The fact that I have her cake to make isn’t the only thing stressing me out. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner and I will be stuck in the same room with the man that broke me eighty-three days ago. I’ve been reassured that we won’t be sitting anywhere near each other but that doesn’t help much. I still have to rehearse the ceremony with him which means I’ll be standing directly across from him up on that stupid altar and my arm will be looped through his when we walk down the aisle. God I hate weddings.

“Alright, here’s the deal,” Juls says after thirty minutes of me tapping my fingers on my worktop at her. “I want a three-tiered almond lemon cake with lemon filling and a cream cheese frosting. There, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Oh she’s gone mad. She slams the book shut and pushes it towards me, her glowing bride to be smile chipping away at my remaining patience. “Now, onto more pressing matters, the bachelorette party. I want to go dancing.”

I roll my eyes and laugh as I write down her wedding cake selection. About damned time too. “Sounds good to me. As long as the booze is flowing I’m all in. I plan on staying highly intoxicated for the next two days anyways.” I begin pulling the ingredients I need off the shelves to start her cake.