I stared out of the windows at the dark night, the stars bright in the sky and my stomach dropped as I thought of my best friend, everything we went through together.

“To save my brothers,” I rasped. “I had to have him killed to give my brothers the chance of a better life. Gio was my best friend, my brother in arms. He was the closest person to me, but I knew that when I went inside, he’d go after Austin and Levi. He was obsessed with having the Carillo’s by his side. And once you’d got the stidda, you were crew. You were Heighter for life. Only way out was death. If you tried to leave, you were—”

“Killed…” she interrupted and, meeting her eyes, I nodded my head.

“Yeah. Levi and Austin were fully initiated, full members, stidda’s inked on their left cheeks, bound to the crew for life. I knew the only way they could be free was to take Gio out. So I called our rival’s leader. The King crew I’d dedicated my whole life to fighting and told him when and where to find Gio. My best friend and crew brother was killed exactly when and where I’d said the Kings could find him. Gio was shot dead at my hands, but Austin and Levi were free.” I sighed. “It was the best thing I’ve ever done for them. The blood on my hands ain’t ever gonna wash away, but at least my brothers are out and living good lives… lives I could never have given them. I’d dragged them into that gang, it was only right I got them the fuck out. It just took me too damn long to see the fucking light.”

Aliyana was silent, Hinder’s “Lips of An Angel” playing through the speakers, the only sound in the studio.

“You had your best friend killed…” she murmured somberly. I had to look away, suddenly consumed with grief.

“I can’t imagine having to make that choice. It would be like me choosing to kill Molly to save Rome. It would be… impossible. I couldn’t live with myself.”

The constant weight that pressed on my chest lightened some as she understood what my everyday was like. I heard the sadness in her voice. She fucking understood what having Gio killed did to me, still did to me. She understood the gravity of the hardest choice I’d ever made.

Aliyana’s lips pressed on my skin giving me strength and she asked, “How did you meet Gio? How did you even get involved with that gang?”

Whether I wanted to or not, that question took me straight back to the past…

Chapter Fourteen

Axel

Westside Heights Trailer Park

Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Eighteen years ago…

Walking into the trailer, a two-year-old Levi wriggling in my arms, I saw Austin sitting on the couch, his head down and crying.

As I approached him I could see blood on his face and a bruise forming on his eye. “Aust? What’s happened?” I asked and rushed to bend down in front of him. I put Levi on the floor, passing him a broken toy truck, then turned to Austin and forced his hands from his face. Austin tried to fight me seeing him, but I was stronger and he couldn’t fight me off. As I pulled down his hands, Austin didn’t meet my eyes, but I could see the state of his face.

Anger made me shake. “Who did this to you?” I snapped. Austin winced as I pressed my fingers against his swelling eye.

“Austin!” I shouted, Levi jumping in shock at my angry voice as he played on the floor.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Austin said, his voice catching because he was crying.

“Well I do,” I said and wiped his tears away with my thumbs. “Tell me who hit you. I’m gonna kill them!”

Austin lifted his head and sighed. “Just some older kids from school, Axe. You don’t know them.”

“Why did they hit you?” I asked. Reaching for a dishtowel, I began wiping away the blood off his face. Levi pulled himself up to stand on the sofa, crawling into Austin’s lap.

“Hey, fratellino,” Austin greeted Levi and he hugged Levi to his chest, Levi’s chubby arms hugging him back.

“Austin?” I pushed again. “Why did they beat you up?”

Austin’s eyes narrowed. “Have you seen me, Axe?” Austin used his hand to point to his clothes. “I’m poor. My clothes are all too small, my sneakers are old and they hurt my feet, but Papa won’t let Mamma buy us new clothes. The kids at school… they make fun of me.”

Dropping the towel to the floor, I pressed my hand over my stomach. It felt like someone had kicked me... They make fun of me…

“I get it everyday, Axe. I ain’t you. No one’s scared of me.” Austin’s head dropped, his tears splashing on his dirty jeans. “I hate our lives! I hate Papa. I hate that he beats Mamma, makes her work all the time and then spends all the money on drink.”