Take Me

Travis held out her hand and slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand. “You’re mine, all mine,”

he said, “forever.”

She stared at the ring in wonder. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, Travis. Where did you find it?”

Travis scrambled to his feet and reached for Lily to help her up. He hugged her tightly, “That’s a secret that only Giuseppe and I know the answer to, I’m afraid,” he teased.

The dealer returned with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “There is something to celebrate, yes?”

he asked, with a charming grin.

“Yes,” Travis said, “yes, there is.” He intertwined his arm with Lily’s so that they could drink from each other’s cups, while Lily tried to convince herself that she felt safe and secure in the knowledge that she and Travis would be together for the rest of their lives.

The rest of the day and the early morning flight back to San Francisco on Tuesday was a blur for Lily.

Janica and Luke had been stunned by her new ring, but pleasantly so, which was a relief. She hadn’t wanted to defend her relationship with Travis to her sister and best friend, partly because she hadn’t had a clue what she’d say.

Luke and Janica slept in their suite that night, so Lily got a tiny reprieve from being all alone with Travis. It wasn’t that she didn’t still crave him. Of course she did. But she was glad to have a little space to process everything that had happened before she fell back into his arms.

Yes, she’d always been in love with Travis, ever since they were kids. But in retrospect, Lily could see that it had been infatuation, not real love. Real love was so much more complex. Had she even scratched the tip of the iceberg yet?

Everything had happened so fast—one week was simply not enough time to process the changes in herself, in Travis, in their relationship—and Lily’s head buzzed with it all. Professionally, the trip had gone amazingly well, and the crates would soon begin to pour in with treasures for the house. She had vague thoughts of getting her own business up and running, but thinking of the future hurt her head. Maybe, she admitted, that was because she wasn’t completely sure what the future held with Travis.

Even after hearing his vows to her as he slipped the incredible ring onto her left hand, she felt unsure. He couldn’t know what trials lay before them in San Francisco.

Worry turned into bleakness as her doubts ran away with themselves. What if she couldn’t fit into his real life? Or worse still, what if she couldn’t handle the realities of his past? What was she going to do when confronted with stunning ex-girlfriends? What if his friends didn’t think she was good enough for him?

What if she never felt like she measured up compared to Travis? Could their love really last if she always felt inferior to him?

Lily took a large gulp of white wine. She just needed to shake herself out of this weird funk she was in.

She glanced back toward the laughter flowing in from the in-flight bar behind the seats. Unlike her, Travis had been in great form since she had accepted his proposal. He was all smiles, and Lily didn’t detect even the slightest bit of worry or doubt. He and Luke had been hanging out at the bar, and even Janica had joined them when Lily feigned sleep. She wished she could find the energy, or the will, to partake in the merriment, but she didn’t have it in her. Here she should be celebrating the one thing she had wanted all her life: Travis’s ring on her finger and promises of forever. It was probably just fatigue, she thought, drifting off into a restless nap.

The next thing she knew they were landing in San Francisco and picking up luggage. Travis was so solicitous, carrying her bags, keeping his arm around her, kissing her cheek and the top of her head. God, she wished she didn’t have such a headache. It was pounding through her train like an anvil.

In the parking garage she kissed Janica and Luke good-bye and climbed into Travis’s Jaguar. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the headrest, glad that he didn’t want to talk right at that moment. If she could just take some deep breaths and get some oxygen to her brain maybe her headache would be gone by the time he dropped her off at her apartment.

But when she opened her eyes they weren’t in front of her unassuming Noe Valley apartment. Instead, Travis was standing in front of his loft. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

Lily blinked back tears. What the hell was she doing crying? Wasn’t this her ultimate dream? Why was she longing for the peace and quiet of her homey living room and kitchen, instead of the cold steel and hard lines of Travis’s loft?

“Oh,” was all she said in reply, but when he looked at her with a question in his eyes she made herself smile, and say, “I guess I hadn’t really thought about our living together.” His eyes clouded over, and she fumbled, “I mean, obviously we’re going to live together, but I hadn’t really thought about where we’d live.”

He rubbed her arm gently out on the sidewalk in the morning light. “I thought we’d stay at my loft until we found something to buy together,” he said.

For some crazy reason the words “something to buy together” tied her stomach up in awful knots. Travis was so sure of himself, so sure of every decision he made, and it was one of the things she had always admired about him. She had always been so wishy-washy, so afraid to make the wrong decisions that she pretty much never made any decisions at all. Lily desperately wanted to be the bold new her that she had cultivated in Italy, but she couldn’t fight the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong in the near future.

When would Travis wake up next to her and realize that he had sold himself short? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Every time they went out he would see the kind of beautiful, perfect women he could have had, then he would look at her and wonder why he had made such a rash proposal.

Travis was waiting for her to say something again, and she didn’t want to disappoint him. After all, why make their eventual breakup happen immediately by her own sullen behavior? She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. He lifted her up off the ground, spinning her around. Forcing a playful wink, she said, “Let’s see how long it takes me to girly up your bachelor pad.”

Travis laughed, and said, “Have at it.” Lily was surprised. He didn’t seem the least bit dismayed by the thought of having her in his personal space.